Day 14
by Melpomene melancholica
Summary: Sakura had grown accustomed to her odd friendship with Sasuke but arnwar in a distant country shook that complacency. And now, one night of weakness threatened to destroy her life as it is... R for themes just to be sure DONE
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: Naruto is the property of Masashi Kishimoto, etc. Borrowing for the purposes of entertainment, procrastination, and basically, escapism.

Warning: Possible spoilers. I read up to Ch 198 of the manga when I wrote this part. It's pretty safe, if you've read up to that. Spoilers are actually hard to detect, if you think about it. ;;

Prologue

It was 245 minutes after twilight; the night was of the third week into the season of autumn. All this the sky told him, only heartily affirming his ever-strong belief that life should be spent gazing at the blue infinity above, be it to watch clouds or stars.

Actually, he wasn't paying much attention to his favorite pastime. The fact that he noticed the constellations' placement or the moon's phase and position in the horizon only proved he wasn't as relaxed as his sprawl on his favorite indolent-lounging spot suggested. What else but women could destroy his tranquility?

After a few more moments of expounding on the question of "why me," Nara Shikamaru ruefully rose from his comfortable position. It would be unfair if he kept on running away from Ino, after all. With the Godaime, the game was always exciting and near-even-----Tsunade herself seemed to enjoy it enough not to punish her lazy bum of a tactician. His wife, however, had not the advantages of having several teams of ANBU under her command to hunt for her no-good-husband. It was rather contemptible of him to take advantage of such a situation, wasn't it?

With a sigh, he flitted off, greeting an old classmate he happened to meet. Haruno Sakura was on her way to Uchiha's house, no doubt, Shikamaru thought in passing. If it weren't so much trouble to walk through the extensive---and mostly empty----property of the almost mythical clan to actually reach the aloof jounin's house, Shikamaru might just bother to visit Sasuke one of these days. Maybe it wasn't too late to warn him.

Then again, he, Nara Shikamaru, who had all the warning he needed from growing up with his "laid-back" father and "take-charge" mother, and all the foreboding and dreading involved in being part of Asuma's genin cell, couldn't do anything to–

He stopped; it didn't matter, anyhow. By tomorrow... Sadly, he shook his head.

Uchiha Sasuke was doomed.

Oh well, he thought. None of my business.

He sighed again, then went his way to his best friend's house.  
  
End prologue: 9:29 - 10:09 021104 


	2. Chapter 1: As Necessary

Disclaimer: Naruto is the property of Masashi Kishimoto, etc. Borrowing for the purposes of entertainment, procrastination, and basically, escapism.

Warning: Possible spoilers. I read up to Ch 198 of the manga when I wrote this part. It's pretty safe, if you've read up to that. Spoilers are actually hard to detect, if you think about it. ;;

Chapter 1: As Necessary

Flooded moonlight caused the packed earth to seem coated with silver, in some areas even appearing to be extensively etched with intricate designs and black soldering. These shadows changed often, though subtly, as the wind blew lightly to rock the trees that concealed the Hidden Village of the Leaf. Barely discernable were the out of place movements among the claw-like projections, and few men would suspect anyone else but the night breeze of causing these disturbances. Sakura was after all a chuunin; stealth and speed was the very nature of the ninja.

A stray cloud passed briefly to gouge the single eye in the sky, and it was in that moment she slipped through the deepened shadows to stand unseen under a window she had stood under in countless times before. Always, before she entered that house, she set aside a moment of stillness at the threshold, as if to ask leave of entry from inhabitants long dead, as if to ask pardon for intruding upon that veritable ghost town. Yet it was also a gesture of defiance; there was a soul inside that still had life, and she was determined to keep that one from the glib clutches of the other world, so long as his body still abided in that of the living. Starting today, however, that gesture, which had merely been a preliminary in the past, would become the bulk of her periodic pilgrimage.

She sighed. It was bound to happen. She thought she had accepted that.

Team seven was bound together by camaraderie, trust, and a fierce sort of love that was casual, heartwarming, or occasionally so intense that it was frightening. Each member had a unique, deep relationship with the other, on top of the overall team dynamics. She wasn't precisely discontented with her particular one-on-one relationship with Sasuke, but she couldn't help but wish for more. Such was the nature of these kinds of things. Such was the nature of the human heart.

Space and time she did her best to give, of course. The sole survivor of the Uchiha clan had to live with the darkness in his soul. There are aspects of himself he needed to rediscover or heal alone, parts of him that were destroyed by his brother when he massacred their family----memories and notions of vengeance that plagued Sasuke for years----or parts that were simply never given a chance to bloom for fear of or due to trauma. Sakura didn't have the heart to just grab his, scarred and ill-used, into her ignorant hands.

She had been happy with the close, tentative distance he allowed her, contented with what he let her share. In time, her obsession turned to patient adoration; an object of obsession is what it is: an object. The static, flat-image of her childhood crush, a mere character seen daily in school and admired, naturally evolved to a breathing, dynamic person at constant, close contact, one who made it clear he didn't want to be sequestered atop a pedestal. The fatuous reliance on his attention and approval diminished over years, replaced by the need to care----a process that inevitably occurred as she and Naruto teamed up to coax (and sometimes bully) the withdrawn Sasuke into relying on his team during the course of his life in general, and not only during missions. She was almost willing to wait for forever that way----wait for what? At 24, she was more preoccupied with being young and being a kunoichi, rather than being in love.

That changed when Sasuke confronted her. Or who ever it was who did the confronting.

Tomorrow morning, two basic 4-man teams, including Sasuke, were going to depart for a Class-S mission in a small neighboring country sometimes referred to as the Southern Crack. She was concerned for him, more so than she usually was whenever any of her friends left for high-rank missions, because this was the first assassination he'd be involved in since dueling with his brother to the death five or six years ago. Even if he wasn't psychologically ready, Sasuke would accept such a mission; that was the shinobi way. But it wasn't only that. In many ways, the mission was a suicidal one. This was hinted at during the actual assignment.

Two years ago, the said country was seized by a military dictator. Various factions have been rebelling since then with little success. Lately, there had been discontent among the warlord's cronies, and rebel activity had began to escalate again----under one banner. The general mobilization of the country's armed forces severely interfered with world trade. Many were also concerned with the dictator's ambitions in the near future concerning the country's neighbors. There were even rumors of a hidden ninja village already in existent in the icy cliffs of the far south and that they were the ones who precipitated and magnified what started out as rumors of violent rebel activities to give ground to the suspicious militarization of the country when its troubles started years ago.

Officially, the Fire country was making no move to support either factions. Court politics, however, was churning with expected debate. All the while, the leaders of the Konohagakure were silently appraising the situation. Political expediency made them accept the top secret request of the rebel faction, despite the Fire country's neutral position. Assassinating the dictator swiftly would have the growing preparations for world domination twitching in the dust on its way to death, and those who have lived in terror under its shadow would be relinquished–--or plunged into utter chaos. As it was, there were disagreements on whether the village should expend lives on such uncertain operations, and many were convinced that the plots of invasion would not seriously threaten the might of Fire country. Declining such a request was out of the question, as such was a sign of weakness and therefore a blight in the security of the village still recovering from the ravages of the outlaw Orochimaru and the gang of S-level criminals Akatsuki.

Thus, it was hinted that the mission was voluntary—and highly classified. In the end, the ANBU was officially kept out of it. Qualified jounin were summoned in secret, but those who disapprove of the cause were expected not to answer.

Sakura knew only two among those who reported to the Godaime Hokage at dawn yesterday.

Sasuke wasn't even invited. He went there to replace another man who answered the summons. In fact, he demanded that he be allowed to do so, providing compelling arguments until Tsunade finally agreed. Both Sakura and Uzumaki Naruto knew about this because they were part of succeeding operations meant to "tidy up" after the assassination was carried out. Naruto expressed passing envy, complaining about not having thought of Sasuke's tactic in getting the high-profile assignment, but was interrupted by an impromptu body guard assignment---for which he left that same afternoon--- when a high-born lady sought refuge in the village following a harrowing attempt on her life. Sakura had no such distractions, however, and her sputtering anger over Sasuke's nonchalant disregard of his safety threatened to erupt several times that day.

When he accosted her the previous evening (reasons as to why were never fully revealed in the course of their following conversation), she demanded for explanations with uncharacteristic vehemence (at least, towards Sasuke). She allowed her inner self full vocal privileges.

"What the hell was that about?" she hissed. "Is it true you harassed the Hokage to replace--"

"Why bother asking when you already know?" he interrupted her coolly.

"But why?" It was almost a scream.

A single dark eyebrow climbed. "I thought you would have heard about that part, too."

"It's not _him_ who's pregnant!"

Sasuke shrugged. "Immediacy. I perceived his need to attend to domestic matters. I merely used my interpersonal skills to further cement a social bond."

She had lectured him once, and only once, about interpersonal skills and social bonds, and never did again because of his infuriating habit of throwing bits of the sermon at her teeth like that whenever he got the chance. To calm herself, she took several deep breaths. "Hokage-sama had her reasons why she didn't choose you for the mission," she said. "It's strategically determined, not a personal insult. You know that."

"Obviously, it had been due to oversight. My presence offers certain gains that offset the loss of his powerful offensive value. If it wasn't like that, she wouldn't have given it to me."

"What are you trying to prove this time, anyway?"

The question was blunt; she made no pretense that it wasn't. His answer was the dangerous glint of his eyes in his otherwise impassive face. She ignored that.

"I have eyes, you know, and ears and so on," she said quietly. "I've seen how you like this kind of missions, the kind where you have fifty-fifty chances of not returning." Her voice trembled slightly. "This better not be some bullshit about pitting yourself against the strongest, against the worst situation..."

"What's the point?" came the infuriatingly icy return.

"It doesn't make any sense."

"Are you asking me if I'm following my brother's footsteps?"

"I-I don't quite follow you," she faltered.

"Hurling myself against the world to see just how strong I am."

"Are you?"

"Am I?"

Her jaw hardened. "I wouldn't know the answer. And with that man, I think it was a cry for help nobody knew how to answer."

"Death was his answer."

"Is that yours as well?"

"What makes you think I'm asking the same question as he was?"

The conversation wasn't going anywhere. She was too angry to think through his riddles, and even then, she couldn't assess the appropriateness of her anger to be confident enough to pit her will against his. What right had she to judge him so, anyway? She was about to leave then, to give up. But then, Sasuke's sigh stilled her steps. Sakura hesitated and she turned back to face him.

"There are debts between the us," he explained seriously. "I won't let him orphan his children or widow his wife."

Silence.

When Sakura finally spoke, her voice had an almost self-mocking overtone. "But me... I don't count like that, huh? Or Naruto----he does care, you know. Leaving us is okay, since were not really married to you or something, right?"

His coldest reply yet came then. "You're annoying, but I hardly expected to hear something like that from you."

"You're right," she said shortly, hanging her head. "I'm sorry; that was petty of me. What I really want to know is, why are you so keen on dying? The way you explained it to Tsunade-sama... It seemed like you think you're less worthy to live than Chouji, that you have less reason to."

Sasuke said nothing.

"Ne, Sasuke-kun," she spoke haltingly after a few silent moments. "I wonder if I provide even a little... a reason for you...?"

More moments of stillness passed before Sasuke noiselessly approached her. He took her by both shoulders carefully and nudged her to look into his impervious eyes.

"I can't give you what you want," he told her simply.

The pain was worse than she imagined it would be, but she thought she bore it quite well. Even though she never expected him to ever tell her directly to stop pursuing him (his declining her offers of dates when they were still kids didn't count), she wasn't really surprised by the succinctly packaged rejection. And so Sakura smiled at him softly, sadly.

"I know," she replied. "I know..."  
  
She hadn't really seen him since then (which is about 30 hours ago). He was probably busy with meetings concerning the mission tomorrow. Most likely, he'd be already asleep at this hour. With a sigh, Sakura bid her friend good luck under her breath and turned to go.

"Walked all this way to stare at my wall?"

Past the melancholy she was snugly swaddled in, Sakura groaned inwardly. No, she wasn't counting on the fact that the Sharingan user wouldn't detect her had he wanted, but she wasn't exactly menacing, was she? She shouldn't have alarmed enough a sleeping genius to actually check out what could have been only a passerby. Of course, in the empty Uchiha property, incidental pedestrians were rare. All the same, Sakura didn't think he'd actually confront her again after their exchange yesterday.

"You're late," he said, jumping down from the very tree that cast the shadows that concealed her.

"Oh?" Sakura struggled to make her tone light. "I didn't know we had a rendezvous."

Sasuke snorted. "You always come the night before I leave for missions. I met you yesterday to get it out of the way, but I forgot to get to it then."

"That was mostly my fault," murmured she, abashed.

He neither affirmed nor denied her words. With a slight jerk of his head, he motioned for her to follow. A couple of leaps had him on the veranda of the third floor. Sakura trailed him and was led through the open window of his bedroom.

"I've closed the area downstairs," he said by way of explanation, leading the way out of the dark room and into the adjoining makeshift sitting room set aside for his usual visitors. Motioning for her to sit, he walked on to grab some bottles from the refrigerator and flicked a light switch en route. He took a lemon, squeezed it into two tall glasses, poured a shot of gin in each, and liberally filled both with iced tea. This was something he learned from Hatake Kakashi, their old sensei from their genin days.

One sweltering evening on the summer before the first member of Team 7 turned twenty---which happened to be her----their sleepy-eyed sensei had them over at his bigger, better, brand-new condo unit---a product of better days and weeks of lobbying for a general salary raise. Their little reunion was interrupted by Gai, who accused Kakashi of weaseling out of a scheduled duel ("I lost the memo while fishing on the sea of memories," he reasoned), and they all ended up running one hundred laps when Kakashi threw them in with the bet and lost thrice in a row in thumb wrestling. Anyhow, they were hot, sweaty, and irritated, so their sensei mollified them with generous libations of lemon iced tea; he only remembered about the gin part when he found himself straddled with a Naruto singing cheesy love songs, a Sasuke talking continuously for one straight quarter of an hour about what he thought of the Icha Icha Violence they stole as kids and about sadomasochism in general, and a Sakura giggling and crying at the same time about becoming the perennial bridesmaid of her generation. Curiously, Sasuke acquired the taste for it and regularly served the drink whenever Sakura or Naruto came over to his place.

Anyhow, Sasuke finished quickly, cleaned up his materials, and turned off the kitchen lights. The dim incandescent lamp on a side table was the sole light source left, but this didn't bother Sakura, who was used to this set up. (Naruto once theorized that his rival was actually an underground environmental activist who wanted to conserve electricity.) Sasuke handed her his preparation, and they sat in silence sipping their drinks.

"Would it comfort you," he suddenly spoke. "If I tell you Nara Shikamaru doesn't think the mission is as dangerous as everybody projects?"

The sudden reassurance caught her off-guard. Sakura tried to joke to gloss over the sharp, grieving pang in her chest. "Ordinarily, no," she said. "That bum is too good at running away, so his views are a bit biased to his skills. Nowadays? Still no. His genius brain is addled by Ino's demands. Isn't it weird that _he_ got the placenta brain and not her?"

"..."

Sakura sighed. "Was I that pathetic yesterday?"she said, her tone now more relaxed .

"Aa."

"The question was rhetorical." That one was slightly offended.

"Aa," Sasuke said in the same tone.

There was another long pause wherein they sipped their drinks, lost in thought. Then, Sasuke spoke again.

"Yesterday," he said. "You asked me several things; I didn't really know the answers to them."

Sakura's new-found serenity, which was unexpectedly precipitated by Sasuke's hospitality, plummeted to the earth like a dead bird. The dull pain was back again, not just as a momentary jab, but as a lingering ache. The fear and anxiety over his safety returned as well.

"It makes sense, you know. That what Chouji has... and Shikamaru do... that I'd know their worth. Understand? I don't have it. What one lacks, one sees in others."

"But you can change that," she whispered. "That emptiness."

"No. And I am not willing to pay the price they had to---or will," he continued, his voice dying down to the same volume as hers. "Do you realize what kind of power they have handed over to fate?"

Sakura bit her lip to keep in a low cry that choked up her throat. She understood now; she knew where he was leading. He would exhaust that issue with her, that which started yesterday. He would keep at it till he's totally sure she could see his point. But why bother? Why torture her so? She decided she didn't want to discuss it anymore. It hit too close to matters of the heart. And she didn't want her heart to be so vulnerable that way. To be so naked, so stripped... she couldn't bear that. The aversion was so strong that she felt herself swimming in nausea.

But she swallowed that aversion bravely. As always.

"You don't really have to explain your actions to me, you know," she said gently.

"I am compelled."

"To tell me? You have no obligation to do that." She moved closer to touch his arm.

"No. To them, to him I do."

"Chouji doesn't think so."

"I do."

"It's not your fault Orochimaru---"

"I thought we already wore that issue to pieces years ago."

A pause. "I think I understand," she then said.

"But you still hurt."

"I'm still scared," she corrected evasively. "I'm not belittling you or your teammates, Sasu, and Shikamaru's a brilliant tactician. But tomorrow..."

"Death is inevitable, and violent ends are common in our life style."

Sakura shook her head. "It doesn't commonly come with this kind of certainty."

Sighing, she leaned against him. No change passed on his countenance as she did, and the momentary tension of a suppressed flinch in his muscles slowly disappeared. He wavered, it seemed, thinking about pulling away, before slipping into relaxation.

"That's right," she murmured, staring at the shadows. "Be kind to me. Do you realize? This will be the last time I'd be near you like this."

"..."

The dim incandescent light made his expression undecipherable.

"It's possible," he answered shortly.

"You wouldn't mind then?"

"What?"

"I want to ask you a favor."

"Aa.."

"Will you hold me? Just this once? Please?"

"Sakura..." The anguish in his voice tore at her, but Sakura bit her lip to keep from retracting her request.

"For the last time?"

Sasuke didn't answer.

"I will do it if you can't." She tried for a last time. "Just a hug."

"You mawkishly would stick to this. Che." There was an odd neutrality to his voice. "Hurry up and get it over with."

Nervously, Sakura appraised the almost defensive position of the man sitting beside her. She could barely see his shadowy countenance---which could be a good thing---so she shut her eyes tight and reached for him. Forever seemed to pass as she waited for her outstretched arms to make contact with his flesh. For one irrational moment, she suspected that he had drawn away from her at the last moment, and imagined Naruto laughing at her for bothering to ask permission in the first place.

Suddenly, she was off her feet, and he was there, around her, all over her. Stiff and awkward, as if embracing a barrel of explosives, he clasped her to him. Another eternity tiptoed by as she lay sprawled atop his wiry, sculpted body, his hard, tensed-up, but warm flesh....

Then she remembered to breathe. Against his chest she expelled the air she held, feeling the warmth as it spread on the fabric of his shirt and on her face. Tentatively, she tightened her hold around him, too, not quite knowing what else to do.

His rigidity melted off him like a cloak. The wild gallop of her heart took a little more time to calm to a steady, heady thrum to join the decelerating rhythm of his. Then there was just him, and his warmth, and his willingness to share that tiny space... his acceptance... his silence.

Lingering on the verge of sleep, Sakura was roused from tranquil uncaring when he took her by the shoulders and gently, but firmly, pulled her from him. A wistful, quiet ache replaced the heady bliss, and it was a pair of bleary, bright, green eyes that gazed back at his unreadable dark, dark brown.

"Now, Sasuke, you must be careful," she whispered peremptorily. "Promise me you would, and then I'd say goodb--"

Her eyes grew as round as saucers, and the tears that teetered on the verge of falling finally did so. Who was he to do this to her? How dared he! His kiss interrupted her so rudely, just when she was about to deliver the most crucial message, the hardest one to say to him. But there was nothing she could do about that. A jounin like him was stronger than a chuunin like her. No matter how hard she worked, how much she sacrificed, she would never beat him, never even become at par with his level.

It was unfair, but she never did stop fighting. Even then, why should she stop all? What he could do, she could.

When he began to pull away, her lithe arms held him still with surprising strength. She returned his lingering kiss with all her indignation, all her fury, all her heart.

Sasuke sighed even as his lips were locked with hers.

The kiss deepened and so did the night.

draft finished: 22:06 021204 

To be continued...

Comments, questions, etc are welcome.

Next chapter's tentative release: 090504 


	3. Chapter 2: Latency

Disclaimer: Naruto not mine. Borrowing. No money involved. So there. 

Warning: Possible spoilers for manga chapters below 198. Again, not that spoilers are usually detectable unless you already know what happened. He-he 

Chapter 2: Latency

Waking up was like that. One moment she knew nothing, the next, as various sensations turned into perceptions, she did. She now noticed that the luminous sheath over her eyes were merely her own sun-touched lids. The stiff white sheet wrapped around her was uncharacteristically coarse----it might be the new one brought out by her mother last week that was yet to be softened by repeated washings----but she rubbed her nose against the fabric and burrowed her head in between two fluffy pillows. The oddly familiar, but somehow inappropriately placed, smell came from there, and it was decidedly masculine... 

Green eyes opened wide, focused on a totally unfamiliar ceiling of white painted plaster. Puzzled and slightly frightened, she inspected the neat, spacious room that seemed to have been stripped to bare essentials; four-poster bed, pristine white sheets, a forbidding chest of dark, heavy wood, a side table, a plain lamp. Windows spanned a couple of walls, through which the indirect rays of the young sun bathed the room, and on one of the sills sat a framed picture of Team 7. 

It belonged to Uchiha Sasuke. 

Sakura started at the thought of her old teammate's name. With the usual associated pain mixed fear, roiling to a brief surge as she remembered his destination for the next few days. Automatically, she grasped onto his request to trust him, and the cell of Leaf ninjas with him, to come back with mission accomplished, and her anxiety alleviated a bit. 

Her next glance went to the clock radio at the bedside; it blinked a "9:38 am," which she more or less expected, judging by the amount of light in the room. He probably left for his extremely dangerous mission at the crack of dawn. 

It was something she had yet to get used to. Friends and acquaintances, now mostly considered adults like her, were receiving more and more of high-ranking missions; some had been for years already. But today _he_ was gone on a suicide mission, and there she was lying alone on his bed, imagining the worst, dreading the possible, hoping for the improbable. 

Alone in his bed. Alone... There was a peculiar wrongness in that. 

Realization came swiftly to her half-asleep brain after that. The crash of remembering all that had passed last night stunned her stupid. Eyes wide, heart fluttering, anxiety threatening to escalate into full panic, she sat up and grabbed the sheets to her chest. Taking deep, calming breaths, attempting to suppress the confusion of thoughts cavorting about in her chaotic mind, she looked objectively at her state on the mirror hanging by the door. 

"Oh, shit," she muttered, anguished and trembling. "What the hell did I do this time?" 

_Dammit, you didn't do it alone!_ retorted her inner self indignantly. 

Carefully, she drew the crumpled sheets an arms-breadth from her and sighed as she ruefully accepted her lack of clothes. In fact, her garments were neatly folded on the table----right next to a pile belonging to Sasuke. 

Not quite knowing what to think, Sakura rose to her feet to stand at the bedside. Her knees buckled, and she clutched at the high mattress to steady herself. The blanket she had wrapped around herself trailed after her, and, as it slipped off the bed, revealed a dark, rust-colored stain on the otherwise immaculate bedspread. Bemused, she stared at it, knowing there was something important she had to remember about it. 

Gingerly, she tiptoed and sat on the high bed. The blood was from her hymen tearing, she thought. What else about it was important? She shrugged and smiled rather wryly. Well, there's that little thing about the end of her virginity, she thought. 

She continued to stare at the stain, pondering on that realization. When she was younger, she would probably have been thrilled to know that it would be ultimately Uchiha Sasuke who would claim her maidenhead. That particular notion was romantic, bittersweet, the stuff fairytales are made of; thus, she decided she didn't quite know what to think. Briefly, irrationally, she wondered if Sasuke had some experience before, unlike her----it certainly felt like he knew very well what he was doing last night! 

At that, Sakura burned a bright crimson. The reason of which, she suspected, was not restricted to plain embarrassment. 

"Kami-sama..." she moaned as she collapsed back onto the bed, burying her face on her shaking hands. 

_Hell yeah! Thank them all!_

And she blushed some more. 

When she asked him to hold her one last time last night, she didn't exactly mean it that way... No wonder he sounded so miserable! He didn't want to do it, naturally, and yet he did. He did it for her... 

Because he believed he owed her. 

Isn't that the very reason he was marching to his death today? He felt he owed Chouji for rescuing him during that time he went with the Sound nins to join Orochimaru. In his place, Sakura would probably feel the same, do the same, and she had to respect his choice. Sasuke owed Chouji for being one of those who saved his life, at the risk of his own, but Sasuke also owed Sakura for reminding him that he _was_ alive----at the risk of her own sanity. What he did for her last night was probably harder for him than taking on every seriously, inexorably deadly mission in place of the five ninjas who gambled their lives for him who didn't deserve it... 

What happened last night profoundly confused Sakura at first. He told her he couldn't give what she wanted ever, and yet, in the same night, did something completely contradictory. But now, she understood. 

She buried her face on his pillow again and began to sob. 

Sasuke was right. He couldn't give her what she wanted. 

He didn't.

* * *

The mission to the Southern Crack country was projected to last for a fortnight. Sakura had thought that period of time would feel like a year. Before she knew it, half of it passed quickly, occupied by the usual B or C missions. She also took over Lee-san's class at the Academy for a couple of days since the beautiful green beast went down with the flu.

Six days since he left, Sakura found herself with nothing to do. Desperate for something to occupy her mind, she left her parents' home after lunch, where she had been staying for the weekend, even though she had no particular place to go to. Eventually, she found herself in the marketplace, where she decided to buy grocery for the coming week. It was mid-afternoon when she finished shopping, and she was on her way to her pad. 

After meticulously arranging her groceries, she checked her answering machine for recorded messages; she had a few. One was from Ino, inviting her over for supper, so Sakura made her way to the Nara household at sunset. 

It was Shikamaru who answered the door. 

"Good evening, Sakura," he greeted her ironically. "Your timing is impeccable. I was running out of chakra, and I think she's serious about her threats this time." 

"Glad to be of service," she replied gravely as she stepped in. "Somehow, I knew this day wouldn't end the way it started: boring." 

"Thanks," replied her host drily. 

"Was it the castration threat this time?" 

"No, she's not that far along. For now, she's contented with fantasizing about weaving a tatami mat with my guts." 

Sakura laughed then. "Ino's always been into the arts and crafts." 

"Is that you, forehead-girl?" asked a voice from within. 

"Yeah, it's me, Ino-pig," Sakura called out as she found her way into the kitchen. "How are you, dear?" 

"Pig-headed, naturally," muttered Shikamaru. 

"Pissed off," came the reply. "That useless bum of a husband I have _accused_ me of gaining too little weight for my baby's gestational age." 

"I only pointed out the deviation." 

"I didn't need to know that! Besides, it's not as if you're the one who goes to the doctor every two weeks." 

"I can read, though." 

"And he tells me it's because of all the throwing up I did. Is that supposed to be _my_ fault, too?" 

"I didn't say that," clarified the besieged man quite calmly. 

"But that's because you're too lazy to open your mouth." 

By then, Sakura had reached her best friend's side and had given her a kiss and a hug. "Would you need any help cooking?" she asked to head off further wrangling. 

"Nah, I'm almost done, anyhow. Sit down like a proper guest. And take Shikamaru with you. He's been underfoot all afternoon in my kitchen, and I've just about have it." 

Sakura merely chuckled and did as she was told, dragging the compliant Shikamaru with her. She grinned at him as they sat down, her taking her accustomed place at a scruffy old beanbag imported from Ino's old room, him taking his at his sofa, feet up, arms pillowing his head. 

"I noticed that exchange lasted only 45 seconds," she commented. "I see the genius had been working overtime to exploit this learning experience." 

"Necessity," he answered. "Dying this age is a bit premature." 

"People learn what they need," seconded Sakura. "All the same, Hokage-sama's marital counseling seemed pretty grueling to me." 

"Do you mind?" the special jounin complained tartly. "Not feeling awfully reminiscent right now." 

"I thought it would be the sort of thing your genius mind would hang on to." 

"Did Ino send you here to torture me?" 

"Tell me, so far have you found those sessions useful in your little favors for the Hokage?" 

At that point, Shikamaru just stopped his ears. 

Shikamaru was touchy about his so-called genius. When they were younger, he had always complained how it never made him "kick-ass" anyway, just gave him more work than necessary. Worse, the first time Asuma tried to get him into the Strategy & Tactics in the Field Operations Sect of the ANBU, he threw it at Shikaramaru as "you're the only one who can do it," and had trapped him effectively with the responsibility. They cornered him into the job even before he passed the jounin exam, so for a while his duties were simply known as the Godaime's "little favors." 

It was also, in a way, a barb relating to how Shikamaru and Ino first came clean-----with themselves. Almost everybody around them had already noticed their complicated little games of pseudo-hostility. Even the occasionally visiting Jiraiya practically crowed at the inspiration he was getting; he said something about sexual tension cackling in the air but failed to expound when Naruto distracted him with an inquiry regarding brassiere sizes and implications. Chouji, at that time already expecting a son, knew their situation front, back, and flipped side to side. It was him who connived with Tsunade to make Shikamaru a little bit busier. It was him who put holes into Shikamaru's cover-ups and excuses. It was him who goaded Ino into a jealous fit. Things went downhill from there (up?). It was a splendid little soap opera/sitcom that quite a number of Konoha nins enjoyed. It was cliche, but it worked. 

They waited a couple of years for Shikamaru to finally get it into his head to even try passing the jounin qualification trials. (What's the point? He was already working and earning like a jounin.) After passing the test on his first haphazard try, Shikamaru's secret job became official, and he was able to give proof of a stable income and a prestigious career to Ino's parents. (They've known him since childhood; their reservations were justified.) 

All in all, his job was not at all so-so, and anyone who'd ever think of Ino as a so-so woman was probably wrong in the head. He found it irritating to be reminded that his so-called "genius" had shattered his childhood dreams of a lifetime of mediocrity. 

Sakura was fond of her best friend's husband. However, she was, after all this time, still adjusting her thinking since that day she found out that the underachieving shadow specialist was a true, verifiable genius, after years of thinking that she was the smartest genin in their graduating class. Because of this, she took every occasion to tease him about it. Hopefully, it also reminded him that none of his intellectualization of his feelings ever did work; that could only show that his love for the energetic, at times explosive, kunoichi transcended even his immense intelligence. 

"Seriously," Sakura said, when he finally dropped his hands. "How are you hanging on? Is she still belligerent about the restrictions the doctor imposed?" 

"She's more mellow these days," Shikamaru answered with a shrug. "I'd live. The doc doesn't consider occasional kunai-throwing as strenuous exercise though; that worries me." 

Sakura laughed, and he smiled reluctantly. They exchanged bits and pieces of news in the manner of friends, as they waited for Ino to finish her preparations. Eventually, they lapsed into silence, each occupied with their own thoughts. 

"It's not as bad as they're projecting it to be," Shikamaru said out of the blue. 

"What?" 

"You're worried about Uchiha, aren't you?" 

"Oh. Yeah. Well, Sasuke told me you didn't think so." 

"I was part of the planning, wasn't I? I have several back-up plans in store before the cell would have to face failure----or resort to suicide. Since you're always ragging about that genius thing, trust on that then." 

"Thank you," she said simply. 

Shikamaru stretched briefly, yawning. "Having said that, would you mind spending the night with Ino?" 

"No problem." She paused. "Ne, Shikamaru. You're receiving reports on their progress, aren't you?" 

"Well..." He nodded. 

"How...?" 

"So far, so good. We'll see." 

"Did you tell her that you'd be out tonight?" 

"No." 

"Good luck." 

He gave her a sour look. She was about to tease him again to disperse some of her anxiety, but then Ino called them to the table. Neither dared disobey.

* * *

That Yamanaka Ino and Haruno Sakura were fierce rivals for Uchiha Sasuke's attention and affection, everybody knew. That they were best friends, everybody knew also----in fact, the two pieces of information always went hand in hand. The irony of the situation seemed to tickle the usual rubberneckers even more than their antics as pubescent girls flirting outrageously with an even more outrageously indifferent boy did

Back then, Ino would daydream of scenarios similar to the one currently unfolding before her, of her to-die-for husband welcoming Haruno Sakura as guest, of her triumphantly toting around her prize. Back then, Ino wouldn't have imagined having anybody other than Sasuke as the said trophy to induce drooling, fits of rage, or both from her rival. Since she had realized, through the years, that Uchiha Sasuke wasn't exactly the marriageable type, he wasn't the one sitting beside her now. Of course, Nara Shikamaru wasn't really the marriageable type either----a minor issue, considering she would indeed die for the insufferable bum. She felt no triumphant or spiteful feelings of superiority. Ino had outgrown those years ago. 

She licked her lips as Saukra entered their modest dinning room with Shikamaru. For some reason, she wanted the pink-haired kunoichi's approval. Why, it was almost like practicing for the in-laws! Yes, Ino did have insecurities. She did want a fellow woman's assurance: yes, dear, you are a formidable kunoichi, but that doesn't automatically render you out of place in this kitchen, it doesn't label you an ineffective homemaker, doesn't mean you can't learn this, too. Yes, you've had vain, stuck-up moments when I wanted to skewer you with the nearest weapon available, but you're my best friend and I love you to bits. 

Only when both her husband and guest were seated did Nara Ino settle herself on the table. She did not miss the appreciative smile that lit Haruno Sakura's face at the sight of the dinner table Ino had painstakingly prepared. Of course, though presentation was what lured the eye of the beholder, the ultimate test was that of taste. She watched as the pink-haired kunoichi filled her plate with various viands, clucking now and then to prod her to take another spoonful of this, a bit more of that. When Sakura finally lifted the chopsticks to her lips, Ino kept a sneaky gaze in place, mouth unconsciously slipping ajar. But then, she missed the actual putting-of-food-on-the-tongue event she had been waiting for when she caught her husband's lazy eyes upon her. Her jaws clamped shut instantly, and she glared at him to regain lost dignity. He rolled his eyes in a bored manner, but that didn't fool her at all. She was _sure_ she saw his nostrils flare slightly! Laughing at her, was he? Why, she ought to... 

"This is great, Ino," said Sakura, sighing after she downed nearly a quarter of her iced tea. 

Abandoning her homicidal urges, Ino turned to her friend, lighting up with a girlish smile. "Why, thank you," she said. "It's the first time I've tried this recipe." 

"You know, I was surprised to find out you were studying how to cook just recently. I mean, I've always thought of you as the homemaker type, you know." 

"Yeah, I've dabbled in cooking before----nothing serious. My baby would have to have the best, though. And this way, I can scold Shika when it's his turn to cook and actually know what to scold him for." 

"I didn't know you cook either, Shikamaru." 

"It's my recipe." 

"It's his mom's," Ino corrected. "She served this one time we were over, and when I asked her for the recipe, she told me I could squeeze it out of Shikamaru. Can you believe the bum was actually trained by his mom to cook, bake, sew, and almost everything else? I was surprised then, too." 

"Good for you, Shikamaru!" said Sakura encouragingly, green eyes wide with enthusiasm. 

"But then, I learned what his mom meant by having to squeeze things out." 

"I see. Laziness." 

"Right." Ino rolled her eyes. 

"I already do almost 90% of the household chores," muttered Shikamaru. 

"Oh, yes." Ino grinned rather ferally. "And there's an underlying reason to that, if I recall." 

Her husband appeared to consider several responses to her statement. In the end, he clamped his mouth shut and said nothing more. Ino was considerably disappointed by that. 

Sakura could have noticed this, for she changed the subject. 

"Isn't it funny," she said somewhat reminiscently. "I remember when we were younger in the baths. We'd overhear the young women talk about their in-laws and all that. You seem to be getting along fine with yours, though." 

"Well, our parents did grow up together," Ino answered. "It's that sort of thing." 

"Not surprised," muttered Shikamaru. 

Sakura laughed at that. "You seem sore about the whole business. What's the matter? Ino-chan and your mom double teaming you?" 

"Harumph." 

"It's certainly better than competing, I'd bet," Ino commented ruefully. "_My_ mother and Shika seem to be trying to outdo each other in making my life miserable all the time. I feel like a caged animal. Grar! When he goes for missions, mother actually insists I go home. Can you believe that? I'm not an invalid! Geesh..." 

Sakura's expression was thoughtful. "You can try calling me. If I'm free, I'd stay with you, and maybe that'll satisfy your mom." 

"Maybe," Ino said dubiously. 

"In fact, tonight and tomorrow I'm free. I'll stay with you, and we'll see how your mother reacts after the fact." 

Ino blinked. "Sometimes, you can be weird, Sakura-chan. But why not?" She pursed her lips towards the general direction of Shikamaru. "Where do we put him then?" 

Sakura was nudging Shikamaru. Ino watched as her husband sighed laboriously and spoke. "I have a meeting tonight," he said. 

"Is that so? Ok." 

The man didn't speak at first. He seemed to be waiting for something. 

"Well?" 

"You're not angry yet." 

Angry? Ino frowned at him. "Why should I be?" 

Sakura rolled her eyes. "That's what I've been telling him," she said. 

Shikamaru merely sighed again, not taking the trouble to argue. Ino found her self grinning impishly. "Actually, I would be before," she confessed. "I thought Hokage-sama was hogging my Shika-kun." 

"Was she?" 

"Not really. Can you believe the slacker here actually runs from her? I'm not surprised the Godaime cracks down on him often." 

"Doesn't he do that to you, too? Running away, I mean." 

"But I'm his wife; it's expected. Besides, it's all even. I do the running away at night, you know." 

"Very droll," commented Shikamaru dryly. 

"And you know why the Hokage insisted on those family planning classes?" she continued eagerly. "She learned about those midnight hide-and-seek games accidentally." 

"It's fun to be shinobi, isn't it?" Sakura said slyly. 

"Sure is. Of course, the fact that he's a special jounin in tactics and field operations did complicate things a bit. I can't believe Hokage-sama forgot to put that into consideration when she set up the family planning lessons." 

"Ino..." began Shikamaru. She noted the warning in his tone with satisfaction. 

"But it _was_ your fault, Shikamaru. You shouldn't have executed one of your cat-and-mouse games during that time of the month. And you can't really expect me to be able to stop your massive brain from seducing me, can you?" 

"Inoooooo!" groaned the jounin in mortification. 

Sakura finally laughed, pink circles appearing on her cheeks. Ino mentally gloated over her double victory. Teasing Shikamaru was wont to embarrass Sakura. It was entertaining for all parties, and Ino never got offended whenever Sakura suddenly ran out of their house, face in flames. 

"It's troublesome," muttered Shikamaru. "Basal body temperatures and all that crap." 

"Are you hinting that Ino-chan's pregnancy is unwanted?" Sakura asked with mock severity. 

"Unplanned. There's a difference." 

"Oh. I sort of hoped you took pity on the unsuspecting world and had decided to spare it the horror of unleashing your legions upon it." 

"Now, now, Sakura-chan," protested Ino. "I'll be the one carrying those so-called legions. Watch it, or I might get jinxed." 

"If you're having trouble with that form of birth control," asked Sakura. "Then why don't you just use contraception?" 

"Oh, I don't know with Shika. He keeps on ragging about it being unnatural." 

"Unnatural?" 

"Yes, you fools," said Shikamaru. "Unnatural." 

"What do you mean by that?" 

"I mean the very idea of contraception is incompatible with sex." 

"Huh?!" 

"It subverts the purpose of the process." 

"..." 

"Listen to me," he said. Ino couldn't believe he was actually baited into such a discussion. "Contraception does what? It contras conception. What's sexual intercourse? Brings male seed to the female seed right? What for? Formation of new individual. What for? For the survival of the species. See? That's why it's called sexual reproduction. Reproduction!" 

Ino rolled her eyes at Sakura slightly. "You know what, Shika," she said. 

"What?" he asked her warily. 

"You really are smart, aren't you?" 

"And...?" 

"And what?" his wife turned innocent eyes to his. "That was a compliment. The confident air you...um, exude while debating with Sakura-chan makes me swoon." 

"And?" he repeated. 

"All I'm saying is... wow. You think all that while making love?" 

"..." 

"So basically," Sakura interrupted hastily. She seemed eager to leave that line of thought unexplored, Ino noted. "By principle, you don't want to oppose nature, so you'd rather cheat your way around it." 

"Don't call it cheating," he answered rather crankily. 

"Well, isn't it? You still subvert the process of coitus by choosing to lie together during times you're sure she isn't fertile." 

"No such thing as surety in this thing." 

"Oh, great," Sakura said sarcastically. "You just get lucky then." 

Shikamaru ignored that. "It's not cheating. We choose the time when she's least likely to conceive, but the process is still intact, functions as it should. We don't change anything. Sex is for making babies, and that's that." 

"Actually, I think he's just too lazy to take precautions," remarked his wife. 

"Who's side are you on, anyway?" he demanded indignantly. 

"Not taking any," she answered smoothly. "But, Shikamaru, I have a question. _You_ don't make love to make babies, do you? Why is it pleasurable in the first place if it's not meant to be enjoyed?" 

Shikamaru bravely argued on for his stand. "I didn't say that. Besides, who knows if animals enjoy it? Look, a female has to prepare her body for conception; energy is required for that. However, that organism has to keep itself alive, too. That's why there are only specific times when a female is capable of being impregnated. Reproduction demands such resources that there must be some form of gratification involved—something tangible—to entice this organism. In animals, it's the simple relief from.... from the heat." 

"Oh my." Ino pursed her lips in morbid fascination. "I'd know if a cat is in heat by her sound, but a fish.... or a worm and a cockroach!" 

Her husband twitched in discomfort. "I was going to say that reproduction's programmed in ones brain. Obviously, brains aren't really needed that much. Example: plants. My point is, every organism is driven towards its survival—as well as the survival of its species. There's a balance point between the two." 

"I wasn't talking about animals. I was asking about you." 

"I'm not stupid. I won't fall for nature's tricks. Humans have higher reasoning." 

"I'm sure that's why the world's overpopulated right now." 

Shikamaru, not in the least nonplused, continued with a shake of his head. "It's probably why gratification is very much involved in human reproduction, in varying levels. The more primitive aspects of our selves override our higher reasoning that logically knows that sex equals kids. That doesn't mean the opposite doesn't happen. People can control themselves, you know." 

"That's an interesting point to explore," his wife commented archly. 

At that point, Sakura suddenly rose from her seat, rousing Ino from her teasing mood. Her best friend was extremely pale. When she spoke, her words came out half-strangled. 

"I-Ino-chan. I have to go for a while." 

"Huh?" Ino watched her in surprise. 

"I have to look at something," Sakura explained pleadingly. "I forgot something very, very important." 

"Ok, then." 

"I'll be back soon," she promised distractedly. 

Then, the pink-haired shinobi was gone. 

"I think we scared her away," said Ino, assuming a slightly repentant expression. 

"You did it without my help, woman." 

"She'll be back. At least, I hope so." 

Shikamaru's countenance was decidedly pious. Ino had a momentary urge to punch his teeth in. 

"You know, I've been thinking." 

"Again?" 

"Don't be snide. I think Sakura-chan's good for you. She's smart and she's intellectually stimulating." Ino sighed. "I know, you didn't marry me for my brain, Shika-kun. Don't mind me if I get a little jealous around women sexier than me—who happens to be almost everybody else nowadays—once in a while." She paused, feeling somewhat profound and martyred at the same time. "Say, hon... Be truthful. D'you think I'm getting too fat?" 

Shikamaru just groaned. 

draft finished: 14:20 040104 Araw ng mga Hangal

* * *

AN: On Shikamaru and Sakura's discussion on sexual reproduction, er, I understand if you skipped it. And you won't have missed anything, anyway. Ehehe. My Alphareader and Muse, **Midnightcrow**, already warned me that it's too technical and that it makes Shikamaru seem too talkative. She's right, she's right. However... (sweatdrops) I just enjoy reading that part too much. I'm pretty weird, see. Please, excuse my little idiosyncrasies. 

BTW, many thanks to **Midnightcrow**, **Seiyo**, and **Luckychan** for pre-reading this chapter. They also read the prologue and the 2nd chapter, but I neglected to mention it. Sorry. 

On comments on chapter 1: **mikki**, **Hao'sAnjul**, **agent vash**, **diana2megr** I hope this chapter didn't disappoint. **animEvivvErz** thanks for pointing out the tension between Sakura and Sasuke. I'm glad it worked. LOL. Backstories are fun, **Visions**, I can never resist putting them in that sometimes it skews up the flow of the story. Ehehe. The last scene in particular was edited and polished extensively. I tried very hard to keep it from becoming romance (which, being a SasuSaku fangirl and a naturally cheesy person, was challenging). Glad it worked. =) **Neptune47** Ahahaha... (blushes) I'm getting scared. LOL Seriously, though, thanks for the extensive feedback on the characterization. I like writing characters who've evolved because I think Masashi Kishimoto's big on that. Most characters are given space to change somewhere in the story. Once I read a fic where Sakura & Ino were portrayed immature, as opposed to a nicely evolved Hinata. Hinata's my fave character, but I got pretty upset. Hehe. Enough of my prattle. And I'll be more vigilant on the typos. 

Thanks for taking the trouble to comment, minna. It always helps. 

Chapter 3's tentative release: 091204


	4. Chapter 3: Suspicions

Disclaimer: Naruto is the property of Masashi Kishimoto, etc. Borrowing for the purposes of entertainment, procrastination, and basically, escapism. 

Warning: Possible spoilers. I read up to Ch 218 of the manga by the time I finished this chapter. No actual spoilers, but just to be safe... Spoilers are actually hard to detect, if you think about it. ;; 

Chapter 3: Suspicions

Haruno Sakura stumbled along the loosely peopled streets on her way home. It wasn't a particularly cold evening, but belatedly, the fact that she left her light jacket at the Nara residence registered in her mind. It wasn't that her mind was too full of thoughts, random or otherwise. In fact, the clarity of her head was quite remarkable, as compared to her state the past few days. A single thought was foremost in her mind, a stern command to self: go home and get your "slug and hug" calendar. 

She nearly fell when her knee buckled as she stepped up the threshold of her childhood home. It was the idiot floor's fault—why couldn't it keep still even for a moment? Fumbling for her keys with one hand, she steadied herself with the other against the cold metal of the knob. She muttered a mild oath upon finding her pockets empty; she had left them inside her jacket. Instead, she knocked. 

"Sakura-chan." Her mother answered the door. "Back so soon?" 

"Just getting something," she replied. 

"Are you feeling ill, child? You look pale." 

"I'm fine," she said rather impatiently. She needed to see her "slug and hug" calendar that badly. "And I might stay with Ino tonight, so I won't be in my pad," she added in a more respectful tone. 

"Is something wrong?" 

"No, ma." Why did there have to be something wrong? "Her husband is working tonight. She just wants some company." 

"Don't tell me the lad is involved in _that_ mission!" 

Wasn't _that_ mission supposed to be classified, Sakura thought rather tartly. How come the whole neighborhood seemed to know about it? "Yes, ma." She turned away and made her way to her bedroom. "Not in the field, though." 

"Thank heavens." Her mother sighed in relief. "I'd have worried about Ino-chan." 

Sakura was contemplating just how silly it would look if she bolted from her own mother. Reserve won over desperation, and she continued her slow pace. 

"Do you have any other friends involved in that mission?" her mother called after her. 

Her heart jolted to a stop. When her breathing restarted, she continued her steady climb up the stairs. But like the model daughter that she was, she called out the answer behind her. 

"Uchiha Sasuke." 

That name again. 

She had tried her best to submerge that name unto the unused portions of her mind, to relinquish space to more sensible, productive things. It was not quite fretting, but even without summoning his name in her head, even without a tangible precipitator, her body was taut with tension. Banishing his name did no good----she had been doing that for years---- because he was still in there, lurking as he was wont to. 

At that particular moment, however, she wasn't even worrying about him (though the awareness of worry lingered somewhere peripheral in her consciousness). All she wanted was her calendar. It was that important. 

Upon entering her room, she immediately went to her dressing table and sorted through the second left drawer. There, she saw the pink and green pocket calendar Lee-san had given her last year, the cute button eyes of the slug caricature on the cover staring up at her sympathetically. She grabbed it and began leafing through its pages quickly. 

September 19, the date today. She scanned the page she was on, looked for red question marks... There. September 29. Fingers shaking, she began counting squares backwards. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten. Eleven. Twelve. Thirteen. Fourteen. 

September 15. 

She sighed, collapsed with a clatter on her wooden floor with enormous relief. Shikamaru was right. People either got lucky or not. In her case, it was quite a close shave. 

Yes. She was sure now. She had thought she was going to have a nervous breakdown a while ago, when the realization of such a possibility came to her. But see, because of her cute calendar, she had been able to verify it: she wasn't pregnant. In fact, she couldn't be! Sure, she had unprotected sex with _him_, but see, she didn't ovulate that night. Yes, she had just consulted her calendar, had she not? She was scheduled to ovulate on the 15th; therefore, she wasn't fertile the night of the 12th and twenty-four hours thereafter. It was impossible. 

Sakura licked her lips nervously. There was another statement of Shikamaru that stuck to her brain: "no such thing as surety in this thing," he had said. But she was sure she counted the days right! She always kept track of her periods because, like many kunoichi, she tended to skip menses occasionally. 

She flipped back a page to look at the month of August. Her last menstrual period started on August 23. Counting that as the first day of her cycle, she should be menstruating again on September 29. See, her cycle lasted 35 days. The books usually use 28 days when explaining things, but the number of days in a woman's cycle varies for each individual. Regardless of length of cycle, however, a woman usually bled fourteen days after she released a seed. On a 28-day cycle, says her biology book, a woman releases a seed on day 14. For her, it was day 21, twenty-one days after her last menstrual period. Day 21 was on September 15. That's far too long after September 12. Therefore, she couldn't be pregnant. It was impossible. 

Sakura was sweating profusely now. Who was she kidding? The human body didn't follow pompous schedules written on textbooks. That's why there's always the word "usually." For all she knew, she could have ovulated the very night she slept with Sasuke. That happened, too, said her book. 

Her hand went to her mouth, and she clamped her teeth on it to keep from screaming as a full blown panic attack hit her. 

What was she going to do? Haruno Sakura, pregnant out of wedlock. The perfect daughter disgracing her family. She would be able to hide this for only a short period of time. Indeed, in a village of ninjas could she hide it at all?. How would she hide a belly the size of a watermelon? Or a child for that matter. Where would she hide a bawling infant? 

And it would be easy to put two and two together. Everybody knew she used to chase Uchiha Sasuke. Everybody knew Sasuke didn't give a damn. And now, everybody would know. They'd snicker behind their sleeves on how she cunningly tripped the hapless boy onto her bed----or how she had spent her lust on some lucky bastard. 

But they didn't need to know it's Sasuke's child, right? They could demand forever the identity of the "son of a bitch who did this to her," and she could keep her silence for just as long. 

But what then when that child was grown? What then when the child began to bear marks that would unmistakably name the sire? What then would the world do to what was clearly an Uchiha? 

And Sasuke. What would he say? What would he do? He already told her he didn't want this. Clearly, he wouldn't want this child. 

But he might be obliged to marry her by... by somebody! And he would hate her for it. He would hate her. She couldn't even think of facing him again. She couldn't... 

She laughed. She laughed near-hysterically. 

It was ridiculous how far her imagination had already ran away. There was no way of knowing, really, until she performed a pregnancy test. There was no use getting so worked up before then. Besides, she probably wasn't pregnant at all. What were the chances of getting pregnant anyway? 1 to 100? 

With much effort, she forced herself to calm down. 

"Very well," she decided. "I'd find out tomorrow." 

But Shikamaru was surely wrong about one thing at least, she thought bitterly. People didn't have sex to make babies. She didn't. She was fairly sure Sasuke didn't either. 

So there. Today, she'd go to a store and find a pregnancy test kit. Or tomorrow. Maybe she should do it tomorrow. Tomorrow would be better. That way, she could concentrate on staying sane tonight. 

In spite of herself, Sakura gave herself a good cry first before she washed her face and made her way back to Nara Ino's home.

* * *

Plants have various means of spreading their seeds. Some rely on motile creatures; for example, burrs attach themselves on the fur of some passing beast. Some become tiny boats, sailing on to high adventures down streams, rivers, and even out on seas. Some simply let the wind carry their progeny to their fates, scattering them to the four corners of the earth. 

Now, when the union of an offspring of the shadow-users and an offspring of the users of the spirit-replacement jutsu were released to their new paths in life, the place they sprouted in wasn't quite as random. In fact, the house formed an isosceles right triangle with the Nara ancestral home and Yamanaka one. Nara Shikamaru arranged it that way, partly in fairness to his wife, but mostly to keep considerable distance between himself and his mother without making her suspicious. Nobody really needed to know any of that, so even she who slumbered in the master bedroom of the modest young household had no clue of such deviousness afoot. 

At least, she didn't say or do anything that indicated so. Nara Ino tended to be argumentative. She would have contradicted her childhood buddy for sheer enjoyment of a feisty little squabble, if she knew he had planned something for the sake of his idiosyncracies. 

She stirred from her light sleep, leaving the vague, sweet, little snippets of the imagined future in dreamland. These days, she was prone to sleeping lightly—and sleeping in, actually, to her husband's envy. She was also wont to suddenly worry about him irrationally, as if he hadn't already proven his expertise on survival time and time again. Besides, he was just here in the village that night, probably waiting for some crucial message from an envoy, probably discussing top secret plans. There was nothing to worry about... 

Now Sakura... Well, Ino was worried about Sakura. 

Sakura could actually be as feisty and violent as Ino—no doubt an effect of their extensive association during their formative years. Usually, Sakura was mature, collected, benevolent, and cheerful. It wasn't that Sakura didn't return that evening to finish her interrupted meal. It wasn't as if Sakura didn't come back with a beatific smile at least as wide as her forehead. It wasn't as if she didn't join in teasing Shikamaru outrageously, or in trying to feel the butterfly movements of the Naras' unborn child. 

Call it intuition, Ino _knew_ something was wrong with her best friend––she was a genjutsu specialist-in-training, wasn't she? She could very well use her intelligence to hide her emotions. Failing that, she could outmaneuver her, Ino, if she tried to confront her. Sakura tended to clamp shut to protect herself, Ino thought. 

Instead of musing some more, Ino just sighed, pushed herself to her feet, and shuffled to the kitchen. Warm milk always helped her fall asleep again, but Shikamaru wasn't there to heat her some. Oh well, she thought, he lets her milk skin, anyway, that lazy bum. She hated the skin on top. 

She prepared some for herself, warming a couple of mugs-full milk for good measure. Somehow, she suspected someone might join her soon. 

For a few minutes, she stood before the stove, uncharacteristically patient, until she sighted the first bubbles gurgling to the surface of the milk. She poured herself some and left the saucepan covered, off the fire, ruefully thinking of the skin soon to creep on top. She sipped her milk as she took her time walking back to her bedroom. The milk was wonderfully warm as it passed from her throat, to her chest, and to her belly. She licked the creaminess off her lips with relish after each swallow, lulled to sleep like an infant. 

A muffled moan shook her out of her drowsy state. It came from the guestroom, the future nursery, where Sakura was asleep. At first, Ino decided to ignore it, but when subsequent sounds came, she entered the room without knocking. Sakura was tangled in her sheets, face contorted into a grimace, wide forehead shiny with sweat. Ino decided to rouse her from her tortured sleep. 

"Sakura," she said, shaking her firmly. "Wake up. It's just a dream." 

The other woman grimaced again, groaned, then opened her eyes and sat up. As if to clear her head, she rubbed her hand down her face, ran it through the disheveled hair that flowed past her shoulder, gray and lifeless, the pink impossible to differentiate from Ino's blond. 

"Bad dreams?" Ino asked kindly. 

"Yeah." Sakura's voice was a little hoarse. 

"Want to talk about it?" 

She shook her head. "I don't even remember what I dreamed of." She sighed. "You can't sleep?" 

"I woke up just now. It happens." 

"Yeah? It'll be hard to get back to sleep, huh?" 

"That happens, too. I still have milk in the kitchen, if you want. It's warm and that helps." 

"That's nice." Sakura grinned. 

The two of them were soon sitting in companionable silence at the dinning table for four, the lights in the house still dimmed down. Ino watched her friend cradle her cracked teddy bear mug, sipping milk once in while. It was the same mug she had shyly requested to use the first time she came to Ino's home as a little girl. Nostalgia was bittersweet; the memories of sleep-overs when they were little girls, the secret conferences in the middle of the night, made Ino smile to herself. Funny. In spite of herself, Ino didn't even regret the years of hostile rivalry over Uchiha Sasuke. Even during that time, they remained friends----their teenaged counterparts would surely beg to differ!---- in a weird sort of way. This recaptured closeness... came rarely. 

Speaking of Sasuke... 

"You're worried about him." 

Sakura started, then looked away. "Yeah." 

"I can only imagine." 

"Ne, don't you worry about Shikamaru when he goes to missions?" 

"Of course, I do. Nowadays, I get worried even though he's just in the village. It's so silly!" 

"I think it has something to do with the mood changes women undergo during pregnancy." 

"Hmmm... Hey, did you know that they have telephone lines in the offices, even though we still need to go through the exotic stuff to pass information to each other? Sometimes, I'd call him there and discover he's been playing shoji against some foreigner, with the godaime and some diplomat betting on the game." Ino shook her head. "In the end, I usually worry for nothing. Geesh." 

"People do usually worry for nothing. I guess, it's just how we are." 

They were silent. 

"So, any plans tomorrow?" Ino asked. 

"Not really. I don't have a mission, like I said. The usual training in the morning, you know. Kurenai-sensei has a mission, so I won't be seeing her. I'd have to go for briefing late in the afternoon, though. What about you?" 

"Well, we were supposed to meet up with Chouji, his wife, and his kids for lunch. Want to come?" 

"Yeah. Maybe. But won't it be like a team 8 reunion or something?" 

"With Chouji's three kids running around? Nah." 

Sakura laughed. "They're cute." 

"Sure they are. But that doesn't make them any less handful. Nobody expected Chouji to marry at age 19, and to a gorgeous civilian, too!" 

"Yeah, I remember Iruka-sensei actually crying." 

"Maybe it's because he was feeling the years." Ino chuckled evilly. "He finally married the ramen-lady at Ichiraku's last year, you know." 

"We were there, dear. I think that ramen lady needed time to get over our insufferable sensei." 

"Oh, how's Kakashi, anyhow? Still a bachelor? Even Asuma-sensei's married already." 

"As far as I know, he still is. Who knows? Maybe he's got several wives under that mask of his. Or maybe he decided to elope with his Icha Icha books." 

"Hmmm..." 

Silence again. 

Finally, Ino resolved to bring up a certain topic, something she thought was delicate. 

"You know, Sakura," she began. "I've been wanting to talk to you about Chouji. I..." 

Sakura shook her head. "Ino-pig no baka," she said quietly. "It's not Chouji's fault. You know how Sasuke gets obscure with his reasoning and expects people to get it? He probably used Chouji as a starting point for his arguments. That's all." 

"You're a bad liar, Sakura." 

She merely smiled. "I don't blame Chouji, if that's why you're worried about." 

"Oh." Ino paused sheepishly. "I thought you two might get awkward and all that." 

"Nonsense. It's not as if I'm _his_ wife, you know." 

"Oh, Sakura...." 

"Come on! Why should Chouji get awkward. He didn't back out. Hokage-sama booted him out of the mission." 

"Sakura-chan." Ino's expression was almost guilty. "My husband was relieved." 

"It's only natural, Ino. They're best friends. He would be able to focus on his tactics better because it's less personal this way, right?" 

"I guess so. He was also relieved because... Sasuke-kun was right about what he told the Hokage. Apparently, she didn't choose him because they were worried about his... condition. Now, he's ready, so... It's like that." 

"I see," said Sakura simply. "Thank you for telling me that. If the Godaime thinks he's ready, then he probably is. I do trust his strength." 

"And I trust Shika's genius," Ino smiled at her friend. 

"That works out well, doesn't it?" Sakura grinned back. 

Only later, only after they had parted, did Ino remember that she had neglected to ask her friend about why she suddenly left during supper, about what was bothering her. Ino had only assumed it was because of Sasuke. Maybe it was, but maybe it wasn't just worry over his safety. 

One of the advantages of having grown up in team 8 was the resulting familiarity she had with the word "troublesome." Somewhere between age 17 and 19, she finally linked the word with her obsession over Uchiha Sasuke. Yes, she realized then, Sasuke issues, whatever kind they were, were always troublesome. 

Sakura should take it from her: Uchiha Sasuke was bad for the health.

* * *

The mighty shinobi village had been steadily recuperating for the last ten years. It had been through hard times, but its people stood fast. The children of the Leaf that had grown to adulthood through those years had been wonderfully nurtured as saplings by the 3rd, bloomed under the adroit hands of the 5th, flourished in the soil the 1st and 2nd cultivated, were safe on the orchard the 4th and thousands of others died to protect. 

One of such flowers, a cherry blossom, stood confidently at the atrium of the Hokage's office, her mission accomplished. Same old Iruka-sensei beamed up at her, proud of how much she had grown, how she had found both "heaven" and "earth" through fierce determination, hard work, and persistence. Iruka-sensei didn't quite realize that, ultimately, she owed that change to him, not only because he was an excellent teacher at the academy. It was Naruto who inspired her----and tons of others—to change, to transcend, and it was Iruka who inspired Naruto. Also, Iruka-sensei didn't know that she didn't quite feel as confident as her poise suggested. 

Or maybe he did. 

See, Sakura, the young vulnerable woman, knew when to surrender to Sakura, the kunoichi, to keep emotions and scruples inside, much like how Inner Sakura knew when to keep her outbursts within the confines of the mind. Sakura could now understand how her fellow ninjas, deadly warriors in the field, could come home to their families and croon a tender lullaby to a babe, completely transformed. 

It was the way of the shinobi. 

Now that Sakura was home, she gradually transitioned to her usual self—the Sakura without arms, without the burden of leadership, without the high level genjutsu know-how----just her. Thus removed from her keen, combative frame, she looked at the calendar before her and remembered. 

September 23rd. 

Ten days. It had been ten days since he left. 

No. It had been _nine_ days since he left, ten days since that thing happened. She still had no answer. She still didn't know what to do. 

Maybe she hadn't really forgotten about her problem the past few days. It was merely pushed aside effectively for the sake of survival. Sakura had to focus her attention and energy to almost a pinpoint all through out that mission. True, it wasn't quite as earthshaking as _his_ mission, but she had been able to save lives. She was proud of how the Leaf's genjutsu was able to stop a lunatic from mass genocide, deterred him by an imaginary holocaust that decimated his cult members a dozen times over. Launching and sustaining such massive illusions were no joke. Life and death, not only their own, rested upon the two ninja's breath and heartbeat. 

That she could take. The uncertainty of victory or defeat, of life or death... she was able to handle that. But this... the uncertainty of not knowing, not knowing what the next few days, weeks, entailed her. Not knowing a plain fact that could—no, would!----utterly devastate her life... She couldn't bear it. 

How could she know? 

How could she find out? 

"Oi, Sakura. You okay?" 

Sensei. He was worried about her. "I'm fine," she lied. 

He scratched at his scar dubiously; he still looked the same, a little bit older, graver perhaps. "You're pale." 

"I'm just tired, sensei," she smiled wanly. That was truth, at least. "Really." 

"But then---" 

"Then you better get some rest, Sakura," the Hokage interrupted Iruka. She was as beautiful as ever. Sakura would have liked to kiss her in gratitude. "I'll see you tomorrow." 

Sakura smiled at the older woman. If they started vituperating her then.... If they tried to crack her... She wouldn't be able to hold. She wouldn't. 

"Take care, Hokage-sama, Iruka-sensei," she said as she started off. "Don't work too hard."  
  
When she disappeared, Iruka turned to the woman beside him. 

"Hokage-sama." 

"Iruka, one of these days, you'd wear your heart out looking after everybody." She smiled at him fondly. "She's stronger than that, you know. Our ninjas are stronger than that. She'll hold." 

"I hope you're right."

* * *

Uzumaki Naurto was rather satisfied with himself. He had accomplished his mission earlier than expected, not only protecting the young heiress of a small daimyo, but also capturing the assassins trailing her and uncovering the conspiracy hatching in the very palace of the young woman. She had been _very_ expressive with her thanks, absolutely refused to take no for an answer, that Naruto was forced to endure such scandalous hedonism for one whole day. He could have sworn he had tasted every single flavor of ramen that day; how all that ramen managed to fit his stomach was unexplainable but hardly surprising. 

The people who knew him well wouldn't have been surprised either on finding one extremely hungry blond prowling about his tiny old pad for ramen----or anything remotely edible—only a few minutes ago. His stomach grumbled mutinously when his desperate search yielded nothing but a grubby satchel of rotting prunes. Even _he_ knew enough to discard that; heck, he wanted to fill up his tummy, not spill out all the contents both ways. 

So one hour and thirteen minutes past noon of September 23rd, Naruto could be found strolling to the Dorobo supermart, whistling as he went. He could, of course, be on his way to Ichiruka's instead, but he had valiantly decided to instead buy instant ramen and wait out the three minutes. See, he was saving money for.... something. Now, if a certain somebody happened to meet him accidentally, and happened to be hungry, and happened to want to eat out with him, well, who was he to complain? 

Eagerly, he scanned everyone that passed his way. Being a head or more taller than most, he had an excellent view of various heads. It should be easy to spot _her_. He couldn't possibly miss her, if she happened to pass by. If. 

He stifled a sigh as he entered the supermarket without a single glimpse of that certain head he was dying to see 

It's like fishing, he reminded himself. He needed to be patient. 

In spite of himself, he picked up a basket and went straight for the ready-made food section. He chose his 28 packets of instant ramen with the fine discernment of a connoisseur. He also bought eggs, milk, bananas, and packed seaweed salad. He continued walking through the store, toting his grocery in his basket. 

Well, after all that, he still didn't find what he was searching for. He finally decided to give aisle 16 a try. It was the only one he hadn't explored. He habitually skipped that aisle since he was neither a woman nor an infant and therefore did not need those diaper things sold there. 

Sure enough, he wasn't disappointed. He grinned upon at least seeing _a_ certain head of interest and decided to surprise the owner of the said head. 

Slowly, he inched closer and closer to the motionless form of the young woman. She had probably just returned from a mission like he did, for her uniform was soiled with a mixture of blood and mud, her hitai-ate headband askew. Obviously, she wasn't thinking much like a kunoichi at the moment. Naruto wasn't even seriously creeping! 

Three centimeters from the spattering of pale, stubby hair at her nape... 

"Boo." 

SMACK! 

"WHAT THE HELL! I WASN'T THAT SCAR---" 

He was cut off when Sakura dropped the package of Jello she used as a weapon and collapsed against him. Through the stars dancing across his eyes (the darned woman could pack quite a punch), he frowned at her pink head resting on his chest. 

"Sakura-chan?" 

"Shut up for a second." 

"Uh.... Sakura-chan, is there something wrong? Is it about---" 

"Dare say his name and I'll kill you." 

Naruto wasn't really going to mention anybody's name. Her statement, however, gave away a great deal. She could only be referring to two people, saying "his" with such vehemence. Since, they weren't waiting for a certain silver-haired sensei at the crack of dawn, he settled for the other person. Now, Naruto didn't think she would seriously kill him if he mentioned their old team mate's name, but she did attack him with her grocery, so he didn't bother to take any risks. Vaguely, he wondered what Sasuke did or said to her this time. That bastard always found some way to upset her, even without trying, and he never got socked for anything! 

"Ne, Naruto." 

"Yeah?" 

"Remember what I told you when we were 15?" 

Through their years as team 7, Sakura had told him a great deal of things, some of them he didn't think he needed to hear. He was half-tempted to ask if she really expected him to remember everything; the smarting of his temple warned him not to. Based on the current situation, Naruto thought back on a certain day of heartbreak, back in the days of fiery youth and flaming love, as Gai-sensei would say. 

"It was Valentine's Day. We had our second date. Somebody gave me chocolates wrapped in pink and black paper and you burst out crying when you saw it. Then you started laughing. I thought you'd gone nuts. Then you promised that someday you'll sit me down and explain things to me," he said cautiously, hoping he picked the correct memory. "Especially about girls and how their brain works?" 

"Well, that day isn't today, Naruto." She smiled at him wanly. "Sorry." 

Naruto's brows furrowed. What _did_ Sasuke do this time? "Sakura-chan, if there's something you want to---" 

"I'll be fine." 

She hugged him and bended over to tiredly pick up her fallen grocery on the floor. Naruto kept his thinking look trained on her as she started to walk away. Belatedly, he remembered that Sasuke managed to wiggle his way into that big mission. Maybe, Sakura was upset about that. That stuck-up idiot couldn't have gotten himself killed, right? Che. Who the hell cares about that Sasuke anyway? Always causing trouble... Naruto had other concerns at the moment. 

"Sakura," he called after her. "Is---?" 

"Naruto, I SWEAR I'll knife you in broad daylight if you finish that sentence!" she snarled before bolting toward the nearest cashier. 

"Hey!" squeaked Naruto, almost in panic, as she pounded away. "I just wanted to ask you if Neji's around! He was with you in your mission today, wasn't he? Hey!" 

She ignored him. Naruto just sighed and continued to think. He thought back on how the pink-haired chuunin's shoulder seemed to sag, on how tired her slender frame looked. She was probably just worried about Sasuke, though. And for good reason, too! Sasuke was, no doubt, a good ninja, Naruto thought, but he certainly had a few loose screws in his head. Naruto nodded to himself sagely. Sakura and Sasuke were both lunatics. Naruto wasn't smart enough to figure the two out, so he's staying out. So there. 

"Searching for me, were you?" a voice spoke behind him, just as he was about to go to the cashier. 

Naruto nearly dropped his basket. 

"Hyuuga Neji!" he greeted without losing a beat and turned to beam his usual squinty-eyed smile at the Hyuuga. "Why would I be searching for you?" 

"It's what one usually assumes when one hears another screaming ones name." 

"Ahahahaha!" Naruto scratched his head. "I was just... Er, why are you looking at me like that?" 

As a matter of fact, Hyuga Neji's stare was even more disturbing with two black brows facing off above his white eyes. Naruto tried his best not to squirm. He was jounin, for crying out loud! He had lead teams of fellow jounins in top secret missions before, had Neji himself as a subordinate several times. Neji was--- 

"What did I say about monkey business, Naruto?" 

Naruto's train of thoughts ended there, the iciness of Neji's voice filling him with that weird nervousness again. 

"Wh-what are you talking about, Neji?" Naruto was seriously and earnestly puzzled, especially at the strange smile the other man was wearing. 

"Don't play games." Neji's smile turned decidedly feral. "What are you doing in this part of the store?" 

"That's none of your damn business!" Naruto burst out, finally losing his temper. "What the hell is---" 

"It's certainly is my damn business, if you're starting to use _those_!" Neji thundered back. 

Glaring, Naruto looked at what the other ninja was pointing at. 

Fast results, it says. Guaranteed! 

Naruto's jaw dropped. 

Pregnancy kits. Boxes and boxes of pregnancy tests. 

Shit. No wonder Neji was ready to kill him. 

Dignity be damned, Naruto thought in panic. He bolted to save his skin. 

"I didn't do anything!" he yelled behind him desperately. "I swear, I didn't!" 

Neji, of course, didn't believe him and gave chase. As did the angry shopkeeper, who thought he was being robbed. 

June 18, 2004 (2:00pm)

* * *

AN: Thanks to my Alphareader **MidnightCrow** and **Seiyo** for beta-reading. 

Thanks for Ch 2's comments. . **animEvivvErz**, you're right about Sakura not wanting the sex. What she wants is a bit more elusive, intangible. I am honored that you consider this fic a fave. **cherripixie**, **The Teen Witch0043**, and **rogue solus**, I'm definitely continuing. I was actually influenced by my Alphareader on ShikaIno, **Neptune47**. I only started loving them after I wrote this chapter. They're fun to write. XD Oh, yes. The reproduction was meant to prod her out of latency. He he. (sweatdrop) And a weak attempt at foreshadowing. Eek.**mikki05**, I used to pull my hair out waiting for fic updates (er... I still check on the fics I love that haven't been updated for years), too. Setting a date helps me not procrastinate. Especially when I'm dead tired from life. Harhar. Fan reader. (blushes) **Hao'sAnjul**, I'm sorry about that. Baka me. 

Till next time. Thanks for reading. Feel free to file comments and complaints using that little button down there. 

Next chapter's release: 092604


	5. Chapter 4: Dreams and Illusions

Disclaimer: The usual. 

Warning: Possible spoilers. I read up to chapter 225 when I finished writing this. 

Chapter 4: Dreams and Illusions-----Mind Games

She awakened underneath a canopy of green translucence. The sun was not so hot on her skin, thanks to the wide-spanning boughs above her, but pale, yellow dots came and went on her arms and legs, projected by the changing gaps between dancing leaves. A light whiff of air cooled her sweaty face and chased away the oppressiveness of the humid atmosphere; albeit momentary the effect, she welcomed it with a sigh.

She sat up and stretched, somewhat ridding her back of knots bestowed by her gnarled, torturous pillow. (The tree didn't seem to care at all when she glared at its roots in displeasure, noted Inner Sakura indignantly.) Through a teary, hearty yawn, she spied her surroundings—---an island, it seemed, a jut of dry earth amongst little quadrangular bodies of muddy water, separated by truncated crests of earth.

The rice padi had always been one of her favorite sight in her travels. Mother Nature seemed to proudly wear her man-made skirt of plaid, its length stretching to eternity. To Sakura, the horizon was forever unreachable; she would never get to see where the plains met the firmament, never reach the place where a dreamer could reach out and pluck a star.

That didn't stop her longing gazes, however. Even with leftovers of slumber in her head, she was in a tizzy as she looked up, anticipating the view that would greet her...

The view was marred.

Her throat constricted with unholy fear. She'd know that conical hat of woven grass anywhere. She would know that distinctive robe of dark plum, splashed with violet tongues of flame.

Itachi had been a bodily threat to her only once, but he haunted her dreams for years. The fact that she had stolen something from a man so powerful, so dangerous, left her jaws and knees quivering like a babe's rattle.

But there's something wrong here, her mind screamed at her. Itachi is dead. He's dead!

Even through the sick terror and bewilderment, survival instincts throbbed strong in her veins. She slid into a defensive stance, ready to die an honorable death, at least.

_In the hands of a specter?!_

The wide-brimmed hat lifted to reveal a pale face. Black eyes pierced hers without the slightest bit of recognition in its murky depths. Itachi had no reason to recognize her, of course; she was just one of the countless faces who served him little or no purpose, one that reminded him of the banality of the masses. But the ninja defector would have recognized her, anyway----and he wouldn't have that tell-a-tale white line gleaming on his shadowed jaw.

He wasn't Itachi. But he couldn't be who he appeared to be.

"Sasuke."

She kept her greeting flat and professional. There should be no giveaway of their degree of closeness in a hostile territory, he always said.

He still didn't know her. Either that, or Sasuke's acting skills had become even better.

"This is private property, miss," he informed her in an oddly respectful tone. "Please leave."

It didn't feel so, but something had to be wrong.

"Sasuke," she said carefully. "I am your old genin cellmate. I cannot give further identification until you do so. I must remain unnamed." Her voice was light, conversational, and unalarming.

"I have no need for some wench's name." (Inner Sakura: _Wench?! How dare he–_) It was outrageous. His tone remained polite despite his words. "I am famous for what I am. But what I am is not really what I am. Because I am what I am. The rabble cannot dictate to me. I know what I am myself."

Sakura was profoundly confused. "And what are you, then?" she managed to croak out.

Sasuke drew himself up with vast dignity. "I am a watercress farmer."

"I thought this was a rice field," she muttered.

She nearly jumped out of her skin when Sasuke's dark eyes widened with a toddler's awe. Even as a kid, she had never seen such an expression on his face, never with such innocence.

"Those crops belong to oniisan," he said. "This is my spot."

He drew his hand from within his tattered robes and pointed behind her, to what appeared to be a muddy stream. Somebody was standing in the slow-flowing water.

"Hello," said the young girl. She must have been about thirteen or fourteen. "You must be new here."

"She's not staying long," interrupted Sasuke. "She doesn't belong here. She must be purged out."

The girl shrugged and waded towards the tree and its shade. "I don't care," she said. "I like her." She smiled gently at the bemused Sakura. With her porcelain face and lustrous black hair, she was gorgeous. Even with all the confusion, Inner Sakura gnashed her teeth with jealousy, wondering if Sasuke's breath caught every time she looked at that girl the way hers did. "By the way, oneechan, I think you're sexy."

Sakura choked on that.

"Oh, and I'm a boy."

"Quit being nice," scolded Sasuke. "That's what got you here in the first place."

"Don't mind Sasuke-nii," Haku said. Yes, that was his name: Haku. Something was weird about that, but Sakura couldn't remember what exactly. "He's--—what did teacher say again?----socially inept. He doesn't have the balls to get the decent screwing people his age ought to be getting."

Sakura went bug-eyed. Surely, this nice, angel-faced young boy _couldn't_ have said those things!

"Problems like those aren't usually the fault of the testicles," observed a quiet voice from above.

Everybody turned to the newcomer.

"Hello, little brother," said the tired-looking man. For some reason, Sakura wasn't at all afraid of the infamous Uchiha Itachi, even as he nimbly leaped from the tree limbs above her. "I've been watching her sleep for some time now. I thought you'd never notice her."

"Forgive my lack of observance, oniisan."

"That doesn't bother you at all?" Itachi's deathly voice had a curious lilt to it.

"What should be bothering me, oniisan?" Sasuke asked cautiously.

"That I've been watching her sleep."

"Not at all." Sasuke was very polite.

Itachi seemed disappointed by this, but he continued on with his admonishments. "Your watercress are a little sickly today."

"I'm sorry, 'niisan."

"Teacher will be displeased."

Haku spoke up at that worriedly. "You're not a cow, are you, oneechan?" he asked her urgently.

Sakura shook her head after a startled pause.

"Good," said Sasuke. "We might get liver rot."

"Fascioliasis," corrected Itachi.

"I'm sorry."

"What's that?" asked Haku.

"Tadpoles swim on your liver and make you sick."

"Liver fluke worms, fool!" thundered Itachi.

Sasuke looked like he was about to cry. "I'll never be as good as you, oniisan."

"There, there." Itachi hugged him hard. "You don't have to prove anything, little brother. I love you unconditionally!"

Sakura couldn't decide which was more disturbing to her: seeing two grown men grope each other or having a six-year old look up her skirt and write down notes.

Yes, a blond six-year old child, wearing a conical head wear and official-looking robes, was staring up her skirt with unmistakable glee.

She shrieked and scrambled away.

"Hokage-sama is here," announced Haku demurely. "Isn't she one hot hunk of flesh, teacher?" he added shyly.

"Substandard," the newcomer piped up in pompous disinterest. "No T&A."

"AURRGHH!!!" Sakura couldn't help herself. "Shut up, Naruto!"

Naruto ignored her. "All right, me guild of farmers, I'm here to check out whatcha learned in yesterday's chat. You start, Pin-up boy Senior. Whatcha learn yesterday?"

Itachi dug deep into his coat pockets, coming up with a purple-and-gold notebook. "The discussion from the previous session can be summed up as thus," he read from his neat handwriting. "One of the drawbacks of being a super warrior at such a precocious age is the risk for one super compromised moral development."

Sakura was having a headache. Inner Sakura had fainted two minutes ago.

The Naruto-who-was-not-Naruto nodded in satisfaction and acknowledged Itachi's flourishing bow. "You next, Pin-up Jr."

"It's safe here in the Elysian fields, because you, Uzumaki-sama, keep us cloistered from the cruel world. Hokage-sama takes care of us. We love Hokage-sama. We shall follow him to the ends of the earth, do anything he may bid, in gratitude for the asylum he has bestowed on us star-crossed beings. Hail, Hokage-sama!"

With that, Sasuke affectionately smooched the little boy on each cheek. Then, overcomed by emotion, he spun around and blubbered on his brother's coat. Naruto took it all without comment.

"They fear us, for they do not understand," observed Itachi sadly, all the while patting his baby brother. "Ours is a high and lonely destiny."

"But now, this woman has violated our haven," said Sasuke severely, pulling his tears-stained face from the prodigy's shoulder.

"What must we do then, my children?" asked Naruto, his grim air somewhat marred by the careless scratching he was doing on his head.

"We can keep her here," said Haku eagerly. "Maybe then I'll get a magnificent turquoise-eyed daughter with ebony hair and ... and.. And I'll name her Bonnie and she'll be jounin at 4 and----"

"Don't be a fool!" snapped Itachi.

"But—!" Haku pouted. "Can't we keep her at all? Even for only a year or so? I really want a souvenir."

"It would be cruelty to borne more of our kind into this world. How quickly you forget the mistakes of your own mother! Now you want this creature as a breeding sow?"

"I shall keep my libido in check, then," intoned Haku subserviently. "Just trying to remind everybody that I _am_ a boy. Do as you please with her."

Naruto scratched his head, harder this time. "Ano... Ano...What do we do to her then?" he asked his minions again.

Sasuke looked at her with cold eyes, all signs of weeping gone from their darkness.

"She must be eliminated."

* * *

This time, she awakened with a start.

Sakura sat up as quickly as she could manage, as if the very act of rising would relinquish her from the confusion of her hazy nightmare. The confusion stayed, even as the world of dreams fluttered away from her fingertips. Only vaguely could she remember what her subconscious had churned out in her restless sleep.

He was there, of course. Others were there, too. Others with identities too weird for her to make sense of. Naruto was only a six-year old, but he was already a pervert and a hokage. Uchiha Itachi was there, too, philosophical, profound, and frighteningly so unlike the homicidal image she had kept of him all these years. And there was, too, a sweet-faced boy, prettier than a girl. His name was Haku, she remembered, that unfortunate missing nin Team 7 had fought in their first B-class mission, that child from Mist country who was forced to kill his own mother's killer---—the very man who sired him hated him for the advanced bloodline he carried----the boy as pure as snow. Persecuted for what he was, what he could have been, he had been too kind for his destiny. Too, too kind...

Maybe it _was_ cruelty to bring a child into a world capable of such things.

Sasuke had also said things in her dream, but she had forgotten those things. It was all for the best, she thought. Knowing herself, she would have driven herself mad trying to decipher the dream, reading out codes from that random cacophony of memories and notions, thinking, thinking, and thinking.

It was all so simple, anyway, despite the loony quality of the dream. Guilt. It was all about guilt. The dream simply reminded her of the guilt she was harboring. Indeed, why would Sasuke want such a liability as herself? Why would he want a family at all when what he had long ago made such a mess of his life? That's why, more than ever, she had to know whether or not she was carrying his child, whether or not she had already destroyed his life with a single selfish wish.

Her head hurt. She didn't sleep well last night, too busy combining and permuting possibilities in her tenacious mind. She wanted to rest, truly. Yesterday, she had gone to the store to look at some of those over-the-counter pregnancy kits (a visit to the doctor was definitely a big no-no). She had lost her nerve when a spiky-haired jounin cannonballed out of nowhere, grinning naughtily. (Did he suspect anything? she wondered. Anything at all? She's talking about Naruto here, but still...) As a result, she still didn't have answers. She was still suspended in that nerve-racking on-the-verge-state.

After a brief chat with Uzumaki Naruto, she had gone straight to her pad. Ino would have wanted to chat, Sakura knew, so she didn't call her friend after briefly informing her parents of her safe arrival. She had gone to bed after a mouthful of something, but had spend the whole afternoon, evening, and night tossing about, lingering on the peripherals of honest-to-goodness rest.

Presently, she resisted the urge to sink back on her pillow as pain squeezed her brain. The steady ticking of her wall clock was drowned by the choir of birds from outside. It was still early, she knew, but if she didn't move quickly enough, she would be late for training.

Dreading the sarcastic one-liner her mentor would deliver ("Oh, so you did learn something from that lazy-eyed pervert!"), Sakura rose swiftly, showered, ate a hasty breakfast, and was about to head out when the phone rang.

"Sakura-chan."

"Ino."

"I'm glad I caught you before you left." A sigh. "How was your mission?"

"Accomplished. Well enough, I suppose. How have you been?" Terse, strained, upset. Descriptions rose easily in her mind; Ino was rarely one to hide emotions.

"Well enough. Listen, can you stay with me tonight? Mother's driving me crazy—I'm at my wit's end!"

"Er, I---"

"I'm going home, anyway, whether or not you can," Ino growled conspiratorially. "Just thought having a flesh-and-blood, somewhat neutral person around to absorb ranting wasn't such a bad idea. Well?"

"I'm free. I have no missions assigned till the 29th."

"Good. Be here for supper."

"Okay." Sakura glanced at her timepiece and saw she still had time. Drawing her friend out into conversation would make Ino feel better in the long run, so Sakura picked an open statement. "I didn't think Shikamaru's still being called on missions, what with that other one he's coordinating."

"Oh, I didn't think so either—not until that cocky little genin ambushed me, anyway. 'I'm to inform Nara-san that her husband had been called to duty,' he drawled. 'What duty?' I asked. 'It's classified.' But of course! Why the hell then did he have to come parading into the middle of the jam-packed flower shop, _screaming_ his news for everybody to hear? Jeeze!

"Unforseen circumstances, they said. But of course, they wouldn't have sent him to such a dangerous mission, if it could have been helped at all. He's too precious a commodity. They're relying on him too much. I swear, this village is going to the dogs. A kunai into one man's guts and all the operations will fall apart! But no--—they'd wear him to pieces before that happens.

"And then that brat of a messenger had the _nerve_ to ask if I was indeed Nara Ino, _after_ spilling his mouth. Ugh. And that Shikamaru! Didn't even have the decency to leave a note. Unforseen circumstance my ass! As if _he_ could actually miss any probability with that annoying genius head of his----"

Unforseen circumstances. Events unexpected by Nara Shikamaru's powerful foresight and acumen.

Of course. Something was wrong.

Ino knew it, too, knew that she must know it, too. Ino had stopped speaking.

"Sakura." She was firm when she spoke again. "That's all I know, I swear. Don't get riled up by rumors and assumptions. We'll talk later. You'll be late for training. Move."

Strong as the steel of blade, cold as the feel of a brush against death, emphatic as only another kunoichi could be, Ino's command was irresistible.

"Till tonight, then. Goodbye and be well."

The line went dead. Sakura did as she was told, for it was all that she could do at the moment.

Something was wrong.

Of course.

* * *

The sun burned a hole in the firmament----was the hole itself, perhaps. Through this opening, some divine hand sent wicked shafts of fire her way, intent to assassinate in slow, lingering means. She could only wince at the glowing eye's halo, scintillating in the frank, blue expanse, couldn't even glare back as challenger and willing opponent.

Of course, what idiot would face a star? What idiot would think herself so invincible that she would seek out the blazing lord of the skies to purge out some misplaced pain or rage through mortal combat?

This must be an illusion, her mind cautioned, the thought seeming vague and distant. This urge that she had to swallow the sun, to stomp out its light, was surely the echoes of a warning, a wordless herald of the insidious presence of an illusion master at work.

Concentrate! She commanded herself viciously. Look to your surroundings. Focus on each detail—--without dwelling on any for too long. Distraction would be your defeat.

Or your death, if fate so decided.

She looked to the trees, slender damsels of the wood swaying in their breeze-dictated dance. The shadows they cast threatened to mutate into hideous monstrosities, tried to lure her into the illusion of a magical demise.

The power of a gripping genjutsu technique lay in its subtle, gradual invasion of the mind. The enemy must suspect nothing, must be slowly beguiled by a disarmingly normal environment. Chakra must be spun with such expertise, with such precise control, into webs of conjured reality; a mistake in the minutest degree could mean discovery and, ultimately, the failure of the mission.

But she knew what to search for. A blip, perhaps, in her immediate surroundings, a sign that could indicate whether or not an attack was imminent, whether or not it was already underway, whether or not there was an enemy at all. It could be the too-complex chirping of the cicada, the sweet song of the nightingale that didn't exist in those parts, or the too-regular pattern of the knobbly roots at her feet.

She searched desperately. The details around her came rushing at her. Details, details... Too many details. Too many for her to keep track of, too many to dissect, too many to watch.

Where was her hidden opponent?

An illusion was a misconception of an existing thing. What then was she falsely perceiving? Is that cloud really a cloud, or was it a shuriken, its true speed warped in her mind, in reality carrying in its blurred edges her doom?

Was it?

Was it not?

Was it?

Was it not?

It was, apparently.

It tore the sky, instead of waiting to lacerate her lung on impact. Blood erupted from that impossible wound, dripped down the blue till the blue was no longer blue but scarlet. The reddened sky on each side of the gigantic cut began to boil and bubble. Bulbous wrinkles scarred the bleeding heavens. The edges of the gaping wound stretched apart, too far from approximation to be able to heal again.

She could only gape in disbelief as the necrotic insides came into view---- the rotting viscera of the universe looked the same as the sliced bowels of that missing nin she had apprehended years ago, the first life she had ever taken----could only stare as the pus, with its nestlings of writhing maggot, dripped down. The stench made her gag, and her stomach, not withstanding the savagery, emptied its contents onto the shriveled earth.

A distinctive roar rampaged about her ears. She had forgotten about the rain of blood, she realized in horror, and she reeled on her jelly-like legs. From the horizon, relentlessly devouring everything in its path, a tsunami came thundering towards her. Before she knew it, before she could even scream in welcoming terror, the wave of death had already descended upon her.

She was drowning.

The metallic taste was unpleasant on her tongue.

She was drowning.

The thickness of the impossible ocean smothered her, crushed her.

She was drowning.

In that primordial stew, she was taking so long to die.

She was.

She was falling towards the dusty ground, panting, whimpering.

The spell was broken.

"Sakura!" The admonishment was cutting. She was ashamed of herself. She wound into a tiny ball to hide that shame. "Sakura..."

Finally, she dared to open her eyes, saw her arms clasping her knees, her knees tucked against her breasts. She looked up into the blood-red eyes of her sensei, the thin line of her blood-red lips tense with concern.

"Why didn't you block the illusion?" she demanded. "I sensed you collecting the threads of the web of chakra I was building to enclose you! Why didn't you shut your mind when you knew the main attack was coming?"

Because she had forgotten? She had forgotten that the destructive power of the illusion was to destroy the body's defenses, to disarm the mind, to overwhelm, to break. She had forgotten the basic premise of offensive genjutsu.

That's what she had learned from the single encounter she had with the mange sharingan.

In a way, she owed the discovery of her calling to Uchiha Itachi. Ironically, Sasuke bested her in her chosen field of expertise, though they had never faced in battle before, simply because he was the only living person capable of withstanding the mange sharingan, perhaps the most powerful genjutsu there was. She herself was no Uchiha, had no such powerful eyes, had no pupil jutsu to use in conjunction. But she figured she could break the enemy in similar ways using genjutsu alone. That's what she had been mastering ever since the team 7 went their separate ways and followed different mentors.

But in today's training session, she was the one who broke.

"You developed this technique," snapped the shapely brunette. "How can you fall for it just like that?"

"I'm sorry, Kurenai-sense," Sakura gasped, still breathless with exertion both from surviving a genjutsu attack of that level and disbelief at almost dying from it.

The jounin-sensei stared at her for a long time.

"Obviously, there is something wrong with you," she said. "You are much too imbalanced. Sort yourself. This training session is over."

And yet, the elder remained where she stood, didn't disappear to refresh herself or attend to some other chore.

Sakura gazed up at her teacher in heartfelt gratitude, though she knew she could not seek solace even from her.

"I shall sort myself out, sensei. Thank you."

Kurenai's look remained expressionless. Finally, she returned the secret smile of the women and vanished in the way of the ninjas.

Sakura took a few moments rest before she disappeared into the obstacle courses of Area 54(?). The training there was intense enough to provide succor through oblivion but were simple enough not to get her killed in her disgustingly lousy state.

* * *

Sakura and Ino weren't talking, because ten minutes ago, they had a senseless little argument.

It all started when...

Well, that's exactly the main hindrance to their making up. Neither could quite remember what really started the spiteful bickering. They had been snapping at each other before the major explosion (Ino said Sakura was insensitive, callous, and downright mean, while Sakura said Ino was a whiny little brat--—both said in less mild terms), and were both too ashamed of themselves to gather enough guts to apologize to one another.

Sakura finally resolved to patch things up. It was mostly her fault, she thought. She had been out of sorts all day, walking about as if in a trance. Ino, aggravated by her husband's antics, must have taken offence from Sakura's behavior, thinking the latter was passive-aggressively acting out.

"If you didn't want to come, you didn't have to," Ino had said earlier. "I won't oblige you; I don't need your charity. In fact, you can just show yourself to the door, if you're that sick of me."  
  
Sakura did not storm out of the Nara house. She stomped into the humid kitchen, plunked down on an empty seat, and began to devour the food Ino prepared. Not to be outdone, Ino did the same with a huff. They had been stuffing their faces for fifteen minutes now, silent except for the occasional chink of tableware, a clearing of a throat, or a slight cough.

As Sakura was clearing her throat for the fifth time, Ino exploded.

"All right, that's it!" she hollered. "If you're gonna say something, spill it right now!"

"What else do you think I've been trying to do? Eh, Ino-pig?"

Ino harrumphed. "Well, at least I know why I'm cranky. It's that Shikamaru's fault And I'm not talking about him taking off to god-knows-where without as much as a note! What's your excuse?"

"PMS," muttered Sakura.

The munching continued uninterrupted a few more minutes before Ino sighed..

"Ne, Forehead-girl, why do you think men are so... so..." Ino stopped, as if encountering some unpleasant thought, grimaced, and continued speaking. "Troublesome. Why do you think they're so troublesome?"

"Shouldn't you be the one who knows better?" said Sakura with a stiff laugh.

"Ha-ha. In this case, experience isn't much of an edge."

"Maybe we're not old enough."

Ino nodded vehemently. "Sixty years from now, they'd be too old to go horsing around."

"I know. Did anybody tell you anything else? About the sudden mission, I mean."

"Oh, the usual: it's classified information, sorry." She snorted. "As if it's not easy enough to just guess. Only an idiot wouldn't expect this sort of thing happening—me, in particular. Something didn't go according to Shika's plans. Something went wrong, and he had to go into the heart of the Southern Crack Country himself."

"Something big enough that can't be delegated to messengers," added Sakura quietly.

Ino's eyes widened like a guilty child's. Her constrained expression lasted less than a second, soon replaced by a doubtful bunching up of her nose.

"Nah," she said. "It was probably his plan from the beginning—part of his dozens, anyway. Shikamaru's like that, you know."

Sakura noticed the sudden detour. She didn't comment—what could she say?—but the fact that her companion was forced to tiptoe around certain subjects to avoid upsetting her made her feel worse. If anybody needed more sensitivity, it would be her. Ino was worse off than her, after all; the father of the child she was carrying (a real child, not a phantom of a wild imagination) was plunging into a foreign war for a suicide mission. Worse, there were some other villages who would grab any opportunity to rid the world of the Leaf's dark horse. So instead, Sakura smiled.

"You would know, wouldn't you," she said playfully. "I bet those midnight games of your is what's keeping that plotting brain of his sharp, eh?"

"No PMS, though." Ino stuck her tongue out at her.

"Only a long wait for that little one."

"A long shitty wait," Ino said as-a-matter-of-factly. "Maybe I'll trade you your PMS."

Sakura felt a stab of guilt. She wasn't feeling as sickly as she usually did before her menses came. (Not yet, her mind reasoned.)

"Well, I haven't really started bleeding yet," she clarified. "I'm just expecting it soon."

"It's good to know I'm not the only one expecting," Ino har-hared over her own pun. "Anyway, if you need some sanitary pads or whatever, I have some in the bathroom."

"Leftovers?"

"Stock, actually." Ino grinned sheepishly. "Got carried away shopping once." She rose and led Sakura to the bathroom. As she rummaged through the cabinet under the sink, she went on speaking. "Nope, no tampons here. Napkins—thin ones, thick ones, long ones, short ones. Choose whichever you like."

Sakura peered into the cupboard curiously. Aside from the multivariated piles of pads, another stack of boxes caught her attention. Her hand shook as she casually took up one box to read.

"So it seems..." she said. "It seems like your being in the family way isn't as accidental as you guys pretend it to be."

Ino was blushing.

"Well... I...." she stammered.

Sakura waited for her friend to regain speech, taking the opportunity to scan the box's instructions. Using her urine, the test could indicate whether or not she was pregnant. However, the test was only effective after the first missed period, five to six days from now. It wasn't going to make her wait shorter then; she didn't need it after all. Come next Wednesday and her monthly visitor would give her all the assurance she needed.

"The truth is, we've been trying for kids for a while." Ino said hesitantly. "I mean, really trying hard. I was afraid that... Well, I was afraid. It turns out there's no need. I was so happy when I found out I'm on the way."

"Oh, I see," said Sakura voice hushed.

"Sakura-chan?"

"Hmm?"

"Is it really that out of character?"

"What?"

"This."

"It's wonderful," Sakura replied sincerely.

Ino beamed at her, cheeks pink. "It's weird. I mean... I'm...I'm _me_."

"It's not weird," assured Sakura.

For some reason, the whole exchange depressed her.

Presently, both returned to their seats. They decided to delay cleaning up the table in favor of relaxing over tea and stories.

Ten minutes later, a knock was heard, and when the door was opened, revealed a messenger for Sakura. After their terse meeting, she returned to sit beside Ino at the table, face stricken.

"What's wrong?" Ino demanded.

"They want me to go on a mission. Tenten had been pulled from a mission to the Mist country and was sent to a classified, high-priority one. I have to take her place."

"Why on earth would they replace a weapons specialist with an apprentice in genjutsu?"

"Nobody else is available. And we both know what the classified, high-priority other one is. She's gone with Shikamaru's group." Sakura smiled bitterly. "Of course, I'm not good enough for that one."

"You are going to the one you're assigned, of course?" It was a statement, not a question, despite the inflection at the end of the sentence.

"Of course, but in three days---"

"He will be here. In fact, he'd probably beat you home."

"I hope so," she said unhappily. "But what about you?"

"What mother doesn't know won't hurt her." Ino's grin was fierce. "Go."

"Take care," said Sakura fervently.

"Tell that to yourself. Gambatte."

Thus, Ino was left alone in her otherwise empty house.

August 1, 2004, afternoon

* * *

AN: This weird little chapter was released unbeta-read, so I have no idea what the response would be. Ehehehe... (Scary.) 

) I'm glad people generally found chapter 3 amusing. **E-chan Hidaka**, I did put Naruto in for comic relief, but, yes, this is angst. LOL, **animEvivvErz** and **Mikki05**, I hope this chapter didn't disappoint. There's nothing to be sorry about, **trickmaster**. One can't help it, if one has nothing to write, ne? **Mikazuki1** I'm glad you liked the character development. Sometimes I worry that readers think the story flows too slowly. Speaking of slow, I did it again in this chapter, **Neptune**. Still no results for Sakura. You guys kinda know the result (coughs) and I do, but Sakura doesn't. (evil laugh) And yes, Sasuke is supposed to come back in 4 days in chapter 3, 3 days now. The good news is, I'm not going to let you readers wait 2 weeks for the next chapter. It'll probably be unbeta-read again (since we're all busy T-T), but the results of the test would probably be there. ) 

Thanks for reading. 

Chapter 5: 100304 


	6. Chapter 5: Three Days of Banter

Disclaimer: The usual. 

Warning: Possible spoilers. I read up to chapter 226 when I finished writing this. Definite spoiler for chapter 281. References to chapters 209, 212. But like I keep saying, if you don't know in the first place, how can you differentiate between canon and what I just made up? P 

Chapter 5: Three Days of Banter

Dusk was stunning. The blood red of the sky had just cooled down to the tints of nightfall. Purples and blues mixed generously with swirls of grey clouds, almost painting the puffy look of eyes about to spill torrents. The gradient up there, coupled with the cool winds of early autumn and the gradually emptying streets, gave Konohagakure no Sato a melancholy sort of air.

Pink hair splayed behind her like a flag, green eyes watering with effort, she rent the idyll mood of the nearby sentry as she passed by with her wheezing pants. Sakura had to stop to identify herself, lest she find herself dead the next few seconds. She parted from the rest of her team, as they trudged towards the village office to give report and collect pay, and instead bounded up the steps leading to the top of the village gates, to one of the watchtowers.

The stitches at her sides were slowly clawing their way into her gut. It was all she could do not to collapse there and then, after a day of swift travel from the Land of the Mist. She halted in mid-step, almost stumbled and plummeted hundreds of feet to the ground, and wondered stupidly what she was doing, anyway. The answer came quickly enough from her oxygen-deprived brain, fueling her throbbing leg muscles. She continued her run and cursed herself for almost tripping—what kind of a ninja tripped on her own foot?

She collapsed upon reaching the uppermost step of the stairway, breathing hard. It really was rather silly to run straight up here; the place did not guarantee answers. If she wanted to see if Sasuke had indeed beaten her home, the Godaime Hokage would be the person to ask. Besides, it was only September 26. He'd be a day early if he had indeed already arrived.

Who else could know? The guards up here, of course. Or perhaps, she could run into an ANBU member she was chummy with who might tell her something----anything, anything at all.

Or maybe, just maybe, he and his team were on the very threshold of the village. She would be one of the first to sight them from up there. To look at him from far away... That was enough.

"They haven't come yet."

Sakura lifted her head to meet the blue eyes of the speaker. She had already recognized the other's voice, though.

She wanted to parrot back the words in disbelief. Instead, she stood up, came beside the blond young woman, and leaned her exhausted body on the balustrade.

"Ino-chan," she said, voice already admonishing. "What are you doing here? It's cold, it might rain, and we _are_ at the gates and---"

Ino turned to smile at her, a much less martial reaction than she was expecting.

"I can't help it," was Ino's simple reply. It could have been the poor lighting, but Sakura could have sworn there were tears standing unshed in her eyes. But then, Ino never cried.

"What are you doing up here?" Ino asked as well, raising an eyebrow at Sakura. "Shouldn't you be heading home to rest?"

Sakura sighed. "Same reason as you, albeit involving a different person." Then, she grimaced. "But that's not the point. We're going home right now."

"Home?" Ino echoed.

"Uh-huh. Your house. Last time I checked, it had a roof that could keep out water when the storm hits."

At that, lightning flashed. The minutes following brought back no thunder.

"Okay," Sakura amended. "Aside from the roof, it also has walls that keep out the cold and draft.

Ino held up what looked like an extra jacket. Sakura couldn't really think of a suitable retort to match her friend's. And so the stillness stretched a bit longer.

As dark blue gradually swallowed all the other colors in the sky, the stars began to peep through in patches. Though slightly dingy, constellations were now recognizable. Venus stood out low in the horizon, and Polaris was comforting in her seeming permanence in the north.

"Ne, forehead-girl."

"Hm?"

"Remember doing this ten, eleven years ago?"

"How could I forget?"

A pause. How could she forget, indeed? That was when Sasuke defected to join Orochimaru. That was when she failed to stop him.

"Heh," Sakura continued with a joke. "Maybe I can ask Naruto to bring him back again."

"Or send Lee to surprise the enemies?"

"Or Temari to save Shi---"

"That tramp!"

Sakura sweatdropped. Ino's snarl reminded her of a komodo dragon. "But Kankuro really did push Temari during that conference."

"Oh, really?"

"Well... That doll creature did it for him."

"See? That temptress on stilts has mannequins and tanuki working to put her within groping range of my man!"

"You know what? I wouldn't be surprised if the Sand really is involved in that mission to the Southern Crack."

"Uh, they do tend to be really dedicated—or suicidal. I wouldn't mind having them as allies."

"Better than enemies," Sakura added.

"Of course, it would be selfish of us to wish them their doom."

"Yeah," Sakura agreed softly, hanging her head. "Poor Naruto."

"Poor Naruto?"

"For having a friend who just said what she did."

"You were just whistling in the dark, stupid."

"And his best friends are insanely obsessive."

"Really? What's Sasuke obsessing about nowadays?"

"Who knows?"

"You, maybe?"

Sakura laughed mockingly. "I wish."

"Who knows?" Ino said, staring at Sakura in dismay.

"I do. He told me so."

Ino frowned.

"I don't want to talk about it."

Silence.

Sakura was uncomfortable in that silence, so she broke it. "Speaking of Naruto, I haven't seen him much these past few weeks. What's he up too?"

"Working overtime, apparently."

"I know, but he never told me what for."

"I bet Iruka-sensei knows."

"And Hyuga Neiji's been acting weird, too. Kept asking me questions about Naruto."

"Heard he tried to mince Naruto a few days ago."

"Oh? What for?"

"Some prank, I think."

"Poor Naruto."

"Poor Neji, you mean."

"That, too."

Again they drifted to silence.

An hour or so later, the lightning flashes were coming closer and closer together. Soon enough, thunder came rumbling faintly.

"They're not coming tonight," Ino said finally.

"Probably not," Sakura agreed.

"And it's going to rain soon."

"Not that soon."

"Soon enough, I say."

Sakura sighed. "I suppose so."

Ino went home and Sakura went with her.

* * *

September 27, two weeks after Uchiha Sasuke's group left for the mission, five days after Nara Shikamaru's team left for support.

Surprisingly, Haruno Sakura slept in that day. When she awoke to the glare of the sun five hours later than usual, she instantly flew out of bed and careened out of the room. Two seconds later, she returned at a dead run, halting at the foot of the bed, frozen. Setting her jaw tightly, she leaned forward and tugged the thin blanket to expose the bedsheet underneath.

The floral pattern of the bedcover of the Nara's guestroom was slightly wrinkled but was clean and unmarked.

Sakura bit back a curse and hurled the fabric she held across the room. She quickly regained composure, however, and affected a careless sigh as she serenely went to the bathroom. Humming, she hastily brushed her teeth, washed her face, and threw on clean clothes. She would have been out the building, had not Ino stopped her.

"Escaping, are we, Sakura?"

The pink-haired kunoichi jumped in surprise.

Ino stared at her for a whole minute, then sighed. "This is going to be a long day," she muttered. "Come have brunch with me, then we'll see what we can do to distract ourselves. Hanging out at the gates, jumping at each shadow..." She shook her head. "We'd be dead by nightfall."

"Heart attack?" suggested Sakura.

"I might jump off the battlements before that even happens, I think."

Neither of them voiced the possibility that no one would come at all that day, as what happened the day before.

"What do you have in mind, Ino-chan?"

"I volunteered us to watch the flower shop."

"Oh?"

"What? Is that a little too tough for you?" Ino sniggered.

"Of course not. Just thinking you might have picked a more vigorous activity, you know?"

Ino sighed. "I know, I know. You mean, more engaging. Actually, Shika's mom wanted some help cleaning deer skin, curing leather, pounding antlers to powder...that stuff. It's actually less boring than playing shopkeeper, but it's icky business."

"Er... I'll take the Yamanaka shop, thank you."

"Thought you might feel that way." Ino grinned.

The Yamanaka flowershop did prove a good distraction. The two women were fairly busy throughout the day, serving customers, passing their dull moments by arranging wreaths, bouquets, and such. During one slow spell, Sakura spoke.

"Ne, Ino," she said. "Don't you wanna be first to see them return like that time?"

Ino grinned broadly. "Oho! So you finally admit I won that contest, eh?"

"I'm not admitting anything. I only conceded that we tied, as we did in our first chuunin exam. I stand by that."

"I suppose, you're right. As for your question, what's the point? We've seen them depart and arrive from dangerous missions before—hell, they've watched us do the same! Why should this be any different? Just because everybody calls it a 'suicide mission?' Hey, not all of them are expecting to die, you know. We'll only be making it hard for ourselves, if we waste time and energy waiting and worrying."

Sakura turned back to the blossoms she was trimming. "You're right, " she said finally. "I love you, but you cannot love me back."

"Beg your pardon?"

"This." She held up a yellow tulip. "That's what it means."

Ino nodded. "Acknowledgment of unrequited love. You still remember those symbolisms?"

"Some of them. It's hard to forget when you memorized a whole book of them, just to impress your rival. I almost fainted too when I found out what it means—after I gave both Sasuke and Lee some."

Ino turned to her seriously. "I knew what it meant at that time. When I gave Sasuke some, too."

"..."

"But." Ino smiled. "I was wrong. About my feelings, I mean."

"Oh."

A thoughtful silence came over them. Before they had a chance to break it themselves, the gentle tinkle of a bell floated to them, heralding the entrance of a customer.

"It's like that with me, too," said Sakura.

Ino was startled by that. However, she was left no chance to ask her friend to further elaborate on the cryptic statement. Sakura had already turned to minister to the old lady who just arrived. Ino had plenty of opportunity to forget the incident during the ensuing busyness of the afternoon.

That night, Sakura was in turn startled by a question from Ino. They had been eating supper in silence in the Nara home. No messenger had come to share news with either of them, and neither saw the point of traveling to the city gates and climbing up a watchtower, especially since it had started raining again.

"Do you know anything about the Land of the Southern Crack?"

"The basic stuff," Sakura answered with a shrug. "It's bordered by a tundra that gradually turns into the desert of the Southern Crack, where most of the country's towns are. It doesn't snow there at all, but it's extremely cold. It's logical to think that the Nameless village is hidden there, but Naruto said Aburame Shino thinks they're in the mountains shadowing that desert."

"I think I remember that conversation." Ino nodded thoughtfully. "These Nameless ninjas are literally nameless? The last time I went on a reconnaissance mission, we didn't even know their name or were even sure they really did exist."

"Apparently, their hitai-ate headbands are bare. Nobody really knows a great deal about them, and what Konoha do know is doubtless under wraps. You mentioned reconnaissance missions; we've been building intelligence on the Southern Crack for years now, ever since their politics started becoming ugly. They've been largely ignored by the rest of the world till recently."

"Maybe these ninjas are waiting for the outcome of the civil war."

"But the village & country is separately ruled; we're not under the Fire country, nor they under us. It's usually the same for other shinobi countries, even though we all act like its otherwise."

"Maybe they want to change that."

"Maybe."

"Are you suggesting that this mess, the series of events... of that tyrant even managing to conquer Southern Crack with his coup, and now this new uprising against this tyrant... all that is just an exercise of power? This won't end with the assassination of the so-called tyrant, then."

"No, it won't." Sakura shook her head grimly. "Shinobi tend to operate on territories. The nameless ones would be threatened by the Konoha operation in their land. They'll retaliate to establish their so-called sovereignty over their country, as well as establish their presence in the shinobi world. Konohagakure no Sato is preparing for this eventuality. Those so-called clean-up teams are going to intercept the nameless shinobi invaders."

"The plans have already been drawn out?" Ino asked in awe. "I mean, we learned our lesson from the Sound nin operations years ago, but... Talk about paranoia."

"Yeah, we had a war with the Sand but beneath that, the Sound were the perpetrators."

"And Orochimaru." Ino groaned. "No S-class lunatics this time, I hope."

"Ditto. It doesn't hurt to be prepared, though. I guess, part of the plans had been drawn out long, long ago. The rest depends on this mission, the additional intelligence they would have gathered, and, of course, on your husband, Konohagakure's premier go player."

"Surely they can't be stupid enough to blatantly attack us in our own stronghold. I mean, sure, we've been shaky the last ten years... Orochimaru, the Akatsuki... That'll be tempting, but we're _us_. Our reputations speaks for itself, ne?"

"They won't attack here. They'll just nip at our flanks, at the Fire country, make their presence known. But even that cannot be allowed."

Ino's answering grin glinted dangerously. "No weaknesses."

"Well..." Sakura considered that. "A few retreats from our parties would be okay, too. We can't seem too impenetrable. That tends to challenge rival villages, ne?"

"Damn complicated," muttered Ino, shaking her head. "Politics is shit-messy. Did you know the Hokage was under pressure from the Fire Country daimyo to keep out of this Southern Crack thing?"

"We're always under pressure. It's the shinobi way. We're tools; naturally, Fire gets jealous when she doesn't monopolize our usage."

"Very nice way to put it. Tools."

"It's a convenient term." Sakura shrugged. "Never mind its accuracy."

"So does the Fire country know of this operation at all?"

"Probably not. The spies they can hire in the big towns are amateurs compared to us. And hiring foreign ninjas? That's gotta be the stupidest thing they could do. A country's might is measured also by the might of its Hidden Village. Therefore, no daimyo would pick a fight with its own—it's like suicide. We're entitled to our secrets. That way, when sensitive issues like this arise, we can move independently."

"And when we get caught by foreign governments—with proof, of course— we get sanctioned by Fire country for disobeying orders."

"Er... Basically."

"Useful tools, really," said Ino with a smirk. "Helps people salvage their honors----and their heads, while we're at it."

"Yeah."

"So... This problem Shika had to see to himself probably has something to do with the Nameless ones, huh?"

"Could be."

Ino sighed. "I hate not knowing. Shikamaru knows I hate it. Gah!"

"And waiting." Sakura chuckled. "He knows you hate waiting."

Later that night, Sakura took a late bath, staying in the bathroom for some time. For nearly an hour, she just stared at her underwear. It was white and clean when she put them on in the morning; it remained so now that she had taken it off.

That was precisely the problem.

Actually, her menses weren't even late yet. Her drawn schedule said as much, predicting her to start bleeding on Wednesday, September 29. She could have started today, anyhow, or yesterday.

For some reason, the fact that Sasuke hasn't returned from the mission relieved her, as if inadvertently giving her more time to find out the truth. She felt guilty, of course, afraid that such a notion might actually jinx her friends.

Still, she wouldn't be able to face him without knowing, not knowing whether or not she had destroyed his life already. He deserved the truth. She deserved the truth, too. She really hoped tomorrow would bring her answers. She really hoped tomorrow would bring home Uchiha Sasuke and company. 

In that order, of course.

* * *

The next day brought neither.

At 3:30 in the morning, she had awakened too early, terrified by a dream she could not even remember. At first, she could do nothing but lay motionless on her bed, sweating underneath the thin blanket. The eerie oppressiveness of the silent early morning crept upon her constantly, until even her violent shifting of positions couldn't banish the swirls of notions in her head, those noodles of scenarios, tangled and webbed, swimming in her head. Twenty-four minutes later, she was pacing around the room. She found a strange sort of calm in tracing various patterns, figures of number, some of kanji even. Eventually, the silence of the room won out. It created too much space and yet weighed heavily on her ears. Her cauldron of thoughts were drawn out that way, as if incorporeal chopsticks picked their way past her eardrums (her nostrils, perhaps) and drew out the noodles of thoughts from within her skull. And now those tangled imaginings floated about her head, tantalizing with the power of their possibilities. At four-fifteen, she sneaked out of the Nara house, clad in her nightgown and a thin burgundy cloak. The worst-shot of a genin would have pinioned her on a wall with a handful of kunai even at that light, but she couldn't care less. Only the ANBU would be up and about at that hour, anyway, and they tended to be close-mouthed. They wouldn't spread gossip on how her orange-and-purple nightgown clashed horribly with her rose-tinted hair. Or that she was mooning over the Uchiha boy again.

To her credit, she only spent an hour at the top of the village walls before admitting how amazingly foolish she was being (she screeched it aloud, actually, decorated with a few choice words). She stayed until sunrise despite her self. The burst of gold over the pinking horizon was somewhat uplifting.

She managed to sleep for two hours thereafter.

At eight in the morning, she was awakened again, this time by a violent spell of a thunderstorm. Ino was stolen from her an hour after they had breakfast for some nonsense about a mission from three years ago. Sakura could have sworn she would have diced up that important dignitary from the Country of the Earth or whoever he was.

Kurenai was away, Naruto was still missing, Lee was busy, and even Kakashi wasn't around to be pestered—or to pester her. There were no missions available for her, not even D ones. The genin rookies were prodigious this year, they say, and the ones from the previous year were no less impressive. (No wonder she was out of work. Those twelve-year-olds were probably even better than her.)

She trained until sunset, instead, trained till the ground swam underneath her feet and her mind flailed to keep coherence in both speech and thought. Her father stared at her strangely when she performed the obligatory visit, and her mother demanded she head to the hospital. Sakura said she only needed to use the bathroom, never mind that neither parent believed her. After a brief shower, she left for the Nara's.

By then, Ino was home with news that they haven't arrived yet. Sakura was upset by that, but not as much as she thought she would have been. Being dead tired had its merits, after all. Of course, exhausted as she was, Sakura willingly helped her friend prepare supper.

Conversation over the meal was somewhat vague----or so Sakura remembered. Sometime along the meal, she excused herself from the table and enclosed herself in Ino's bathroom. Knowing exactly what she was searching for, Sakura delved deep into Ino's stock of hygienic paraphernalia.

Feeling sharper than any other time during that entire sluggish day, Sakura read the instructions on the pregnancy test kit carefully. The test would be accurate only after the first missed menses . Her menses she expected to come on Wednesday, tomorrow. However, if she did ovulate the night she slept with Sasuke, or 24 hours after that, she should either be menstruating now or carrying his forming child. If she didn't ovulate that night, the test would result with a negative. Either way, she would get an answer.

Briskly, professionally, she performed the test. She caught urine with a doggy paper cup she filched from the Haruno kitchen and used the provided dropper to put urine into the disposable tester. The two windows on that small rectangular plate changed colors. The test was done.

Sakura laughed upon reading the result. She laughed so hard that anybody listening would have mistaken her raucous howls of glee for ragged wails of despair.

081304 0340

* * *

AN: There goes the result. : ) It's evil not to say it outright, but you probably can guess. Again, this relatively short chapter was unbetaread. 

Much thanks to **Luckychan**. I stole that bit about the symbolism of a yellow tulip from a short story she wrote. Ehehehe... She researched it, I'm sure. And it just popped in my head while I was writing this. (sweatdrop) 

I hope I didn't disappoint, **Lady Light**. **animEvivvErz**, the dream was meant to be weird, being a dream. I'm glad you found it interesting, **trickmaster**. Like **Neptune** said, it was trippy. I had fun writing it. He he. Really wanna know what's going to happen? Then, you know how Sakura & Ino feels, right? XD About the Itachi-Sakura meeting, I'm glad you called my attention. See, I just mentioned it in passing, not really planning to include it in the plot. But now, it will be addressed in a later chapter. (I'm working on it. ) On cliffhangers, blame it on Masashi-sensei, **E-chan Hidaka**. He always ends each manga chapter with cliffhangers. T-T **Ayce Shade**, I hope this and the next chapters would clear things up. I guess, it's because the story isn't told entirely linear. Yes, **Mikazuki**, chapter 4 is a tad cryptic, but it does have a lot of bearing on character development. **Icarus' Song**, feel free to point to a sentence or paragraph that's particularly unclear. I would gladly look in on it. : ) 

Thanks for reading. Comments, complaints, etc. are welcome. I wear fire-retardant clothes when checking mail. 

Next update: 101004 


	7. Chapter 6: Fugue

Disclaimer: Naruto is the property of Masashi Kishimoto, etc. Just borrowing. 

Warning: Don't think there's any spoilers, but you never know. Read up to 227 in the manga when this chapter was finished. 

Chapter 6: Fugue

Nara Ino was naturally worried. The father of her child was gone on a Class A mission, possibly a bolster operation for the suicide mission to the war-torn land of the Southern Crack. She remembered the land from an old mission before. Its capital city lay upon the shadows of a monstrous, sheer rock face that towered and spread for miles. It truly did look like a crack on the continent, two slabs of earth wrenched apart vertically. The Nameless ones were rumored to hide beyond that sheer cliff, on the blizzard-plagued mountain range that created natural boundaries on the south and west of the Southern Crack country.

The two-week time frame given for the original mission was a farce, Ino knew. The assassination was probably done by now, if at all, though everyone kept tight-lipped about details and the news traveled slow among the lay. Two weeks was a reasonable amount of time to expect the teams to arrive back in Konohagakure no Sato, but it was not reasonable to expect at all. For all she knew, Shikamaru could have left with a team of hunter-nins to retrieve the bodies of fallen comrades.

Ino chose to be unreasonable and calmed herself with cheerful assurance: they would all return, sooner or later, perhaps aided by one of her Shika's miraculous tactical saves.

Sakura, on the other hand, after outgrowing her girlish obsession with romanticism, was probably being reasonable. Ino could practically feel terror emanating from the other woman, a sort of anticipatory grieving. To her credit, Sakura wasn't that obvious about it. Ino only knew from being alone with her for days.

She did not, however, expect Sakura to snap so soon.

It didn't even register in her mind, at first, that Sakura was laughing by herself in the bathroom. When a particularly brittle peal caught her attention, Ino nearly choked on her peas. Now, that's over the hill, she thought. Giggling over something remembered was one thing, but Sakura was laughing so hard she sounded like an injured hyena.

Ino stood up and ran to the bathroom.

Sakura was howling alright. It was not out of hilarity.

The door was locked.

"Dammit, Sakura! Don't do anything stupid," Ino screamed through the crying. "Open the door!"

The door remained shut. Ino could only assume that Sakura had not done anything stupid—she could imagine several gory possibilities----since the weeping continued. There was no need to break down her own bathroom door, after all, Ino decided, so she desisted the pounding. Eventually, Sakura's wails trickled into a cycle of sobs, sniffles, and hiccoughs.

And then silence.

"Sakura?" Ino asked sharply.

There came no reply. Ino began cursing under her breath. She disappeared into her bedroom, came back with her ninja utility belt, and picked the lock.

"Sakura?"

"Zzzzz..." came the answer from the form slouched against the lidded toilet bowl.

Seeing as she couldn't carry the sleeping girl to a more comfortable place, given that she was already carrying added weight about her girth, Ino studied her surroundings more thoroughly. She quickly sighted the paraphernalia scattered on the sink area. What she saw made things clearer for her—too clear, in fact. She knew that she had inadvertently breeched the other's privacy.

"Oh my god," she mouthed. "Sakura-chan?"

Sakura-chan? Pregnant? Ino had no idea that she even... Not that it was any of her business. But still—

She picked up the tester from where it had fallen on the floor, bending laboriously.

Ino facefaulted.

"This is too much," she burst out. "Really! All this melodrama for.... Mou!"

She bended again and shook her friend firmly.

"Sakura. Sakura, you idiot," she said. "Wake up."

Sakura stirred. Slowly, her eyes opened and blinked a few times.

"What?" she asked gruffly.

"Arg!" Ino stamped her foot. "Get up. Just get up first. I don't like seeing you slumped like that on the floor. You look like a mangled cor—Aurgh! Get up!"

Sakura did as she was told shakily. Upon standing, her eyes fell to the mess she made in the little bathroom. Her jaw began to quiver.

"Oh, no you're not!" Ino whipped her around and gave her a hard shake. "You're not gonna cry again."

"Ino-chan---"

"You're not pregnant, stupid. You read it wrong. It's a negative."

Sakura's jaw still shook, and hot tears began sliding down her cheeks. At least, she wasn't wailing like a banshee, anymore, only hugging herself as her body was racked with stifled sobs.

After a stymied moment—and nearly jumping out of her skin—Ino roughly embraced her friend.

"I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions, forehead-girl," she murmured almost grudgingly. "Come back to the dinner table with me. I'll listen, if you want to let it out."

Sakura nodded against her hold. Ino sighed and lead the way.

Later, after sitting in silence for nearly half an hour, Sakura briefly explained that on the eve of the commencement of the Southern Crack mission, she had slept with Uchiha Sasuke and had been consumed by the possibility of that union bearing fruit for almost a week now. Ino was still confused after her quiet explanation.

"I understand you were worried about the suicide mission and the fact that he could have knocked you up, but you weren't crying out of relief a while ago."

"I haven't really sorted it out yet." Sakura sighed, confusion rampant in her voice. "I guess I'm relieved, too. And happy. Because... Because of many reasons. But now, I feel...disappointed."

"The mildest term anybody would come up with," Ino said dryly.

"And terrified, and sad, and guilty."

"Guilty?"

"I didn't realize I wanted it that badly."

"Sasuke's child?"

"And Sasuke himself, I suppose. It's—Maybe it's like having a part of him for my own finally. I'm selfish like that. And terror that I've lost my last chance of having that at least, what with this mission and all, the fact that they're still not here."

"But Sakura, it's not like you raped Sasuke. He would have to face a consequence like that, too. And it's not like---"

"It's not like he'll die?" Sakura laughed. "I don't think he'd mind that much, if it happens."

"What?" Ino retorted. "You think he boned you as a goodbye present, some sort of suicide note?"

"No, I don't," replied Sakura quietly.

Ino sighed, willing herself to be patient. It was hard to do, what with the desire to smack her friend senseless and the desire to smother her with a bear-hug and cry for her pain warring in Ino's chest. "Why do you think he did it then?" she asked instead.

"I asked him to do it. I asked him that night. He owed me, and he paid up. And maybe subconsciously I was already planning then." Sakura smiled bitterly. "Maybe I had subconsciously done that, hoping I'd have something to blackmail him with, you know, a leash to tie him down to me. Maybe I really am a conniving bitch."

Ino didn't know what to say. Having used the spirit replacement technique on Sakura before, she knew how twisted the pink-haired kunoichi could be. Beyond the weird notions of self-incrimination, Ino felt the sick guilt drip from each word she heard. Guilt for what, she wondered. For simply wanting, for simply wanting to be loved back?

What could she say to that? Anything, anything she'd say would be empty words, useless platitudes.

"I wasn't thinking of consequences, either. I wasn't able to... think past the drive. I nearly went crazy when I first realized the possibility. I mean, my parents, my career. I'd be set back again and not be able to take the next jounin qualifying exams. And of course, there's the rumors, the gossips, the judgements. I'd be ostracized, shunned. And the responsibility: a child!

"I didn't want that, I swear. I'm not sure I do, even now, but there's a certain ache that yearns. It's stupid. I guess, I can't accept the fact that I'm that obsessed with having a piece of him finally, despite what I would lose or he would lose. Especially now that he has gone to his death. And I can't even accept this idea... 'cause I can't accept he's dead. I simply can't---"

"Of course you can't," Ino snapped in a horrible voice. "We haven't gotten news from any of them. Until then---"

"We keep faith." Sakura's smile shone true then.

"And when Mr. Sasuke Uchiha returns, you two are going to have to talk, dammit." Ino bared her teeth viciously. "You can't play mind games forever. It's fun, I suppose----if you get off on S&M! But a relationship----"

"Isn't built on mistrust and manipulation."

Ino gritted her teeth, her exasperation wearing her thinning patience. "You're being unfair to yourself!"

"Perhaps, I deserve it. You do realize, don't you, that if I hadn't gotten lucky, a child would have also destroyed his life? He didn't want that. He told me so. He didn't want liabilities. And yet, knowing that, part of me still want that. It's disgusting."

"He told you he doesn't want a family?"

"If you were him, would you? After all that happened to him?"

"He told you he couldn't love you, then?"

Sakura looked as bewildered as Ino felt.

"All right," said Ino. "I suppose that's an unfair question coming from any of us. You can't help loving those asses you used to run around with at fifteen, trying not to get killed. It's a unique bond. When physical attraction kicks in, that's when things get messy."

"All those years.... Sometimes, I think I worry about him out of obligation. There's none of the reward thing Shikamaru keeps ragging about." She paused. "That's simply it. Ino-chan, do you realize? I played myself into this. That time I pursued him idiotically, it was just a crush, was a curable thing. See, all that time with him has shattered my misconceptions, my delusions, my daydreams. But how could have I known....that it would come to this? Now, I can't detach myself, even though I know it'll destroy me."

"S-sakura-chan..." Ino stared at the green orbs floating on those dark circles of flesh, speechless.

"Ino-chan," Sakura continued bitterly. "That day Iruka-sensei separated us into our genin cells, you were the real winner."

Now what could she say to that?

"This." Sakura pointed to herself. "I did this to myself."

That did it. Ino couldn't take it anymore.

"Stop it!" she cried, eyes shutting momentarily, breathing hard. "Stop... Okay? Just stop."

Jaw set angrily, Ino shook her head, glaring at the her friend's pallid knuckles kneading one another. "Sakura, you're shocked and guilty over a realization you had. On top of that, you're scared shitless over that icy bastard who still hasn't come home with that lazy-ass husband of mine." Despite her best efforts to control herself, her desperate attempts to explain, to counter things said, her words deteriorated into a heated rant. " I didn't know this... I didn't know that bastard had affected you this much. How could I have missed this? How could I have missed seeing how much he fucked you up!" Her voice throbbed with a fierce wave of protectiveness. She had to pause to swallow the urge to march out the village, to hunt for the said bastard, to maim and brutalize.

In a calmer voice, she then continued. "I think you should just sleep for now. And tomorrow, you'll tell me objectively, whether or not you planned this whole circus, or that you've snapped, or... or... Augh!"

"..."

"Will you promise me that?"

"I don't know."

"If you say yes, I'll let you moon around for a few days, and I won't even lecture you."

Sakura blinked her eyes tiredly. "Yes."

And so, Ino escorted Sakura to bed. When the latter finally drifted to sleep, Ino sighed to herself.

"My head hurts," she murmured plaintively.

A few moments later, she went back to her own room and slept through the storm raging outside.

* * *

The next day brought a lovely morning, the sort that had a crystalline glow about it, brought about by the raindrops that fell last night and now coated all surfaces exposed. Children were out and about again after being caged like animals for the past several afternoons, ecstatic about their current freedom.

A young woman of about twenty-four walked briskly through the muddy streets, skillfully avoiding dripping roofs, trickling drain spouts, dirty little urchins bent on emptying their chosen puddles by splashing mud on passers-by, and the jostling pupils of the Ninja Academy on their way to their classes.

Several minutes ago, this woman didn't even have plans of getting out of bed. Her friend, with whom she was staying with, managed to drive her out of that sulk through guilt, unintentionally or not.

The pregnant kunoichi was up and about bright and early, busying herself with preparing an "extra special breakfast." Sakura, who had woken up blankly and dully, wasn't too thrilled and frankly didn't give a damn. When Ino started rattling off the items in her prospective menu, Sakura's stomach roiled violently and enthusiastically regurgitated age-old.... stuff, together with gastric juice. The bitter taste it branded on her tongue and throat was enough to bring her back to her senses: she was in the Nara's bathroom, slumped over the toilet bowl and puking her belly out. She had been moping around for the last thirty-four hours.

Her thoughts moved slowly enough. No matter how lugubrious she was, her mind still whispered, "Why has he not come?" or " Where the hell is he?" over and over again. It was the anxiety that was killing her; it took every ounce of her willpower to keep her very molecules together, to keep from dissolving to bits. She didn't have enough energy to drive away the evil notions that plagued her, to just stand up and shake away the irrationality. They wickedly remained, nesting in her hair, weighing in her viscera. The only reason she hadn't resorted to alcohol was that she knew, somewhere in that mess that was her head, that Ino would be sorely tempted to join her.

That and she didn't have enough cash for booze.

She was tired and had remained in the bathroom for a while. Ino continued to cook outside, occasionally cursing when little mishaps occurred. A few minutes later, the phone rang. Sakura deduced one of her parents was on the line, probably checking on her. Ino was brilliant. She managed to keep her temper and Sakura's real condition undisclosed.

Ino was a brick, probably the only solid thing she was capable of perceiving at the moment.

"No matter what the situation is, a shinobi must put all emotion aside... must posses a heart that never shows tears."

She admired Ino. Ino could live to that, even now. But Ino wouldn't be able to hold for the misery of two women. It's not fair to burden her that way. If anything, it should be the other way around. She, Sakura, should be the strong pillar for her friend, Nara Ino, an expectant mother separated from her husband by his duties and by circumstance.

And so, fifteen minutes later, Sakura was standing by the kitchen table, bathed and dressed in her uniform, and shoving down two pieces of bread, bulging with scrambled eggs, cheese, and ham, down her throat. Her tongue was singed a bit, for she fished the said food fresh from the frying pan. It was pretty much worth it, seeing Ino's astonished expression.

That and her stomach was rumbling like drums.

"Sakura-chan," she stammered, as Sakura drank the last of her milk. "You're going on a mission? I mean-----now?"

"Yeah," Sakura answered with a smile. "Like you said, there's no sense in waiting around and wasting time."

"I did say that," Ino admitted thoughtfully. "I didn't realize it sounded that profound, though."

Sakura rolled her eyes playfully. "I'm sorry, though," she added, turning serious.

"What for?"

"I guess, you'll have to deal with your mother for a while."

Ino's brow twitched. "You just had to remind me of that, didn't you?" She harrumphed and turned her back on the other ninja. "Go on, scat! Get out of here."

"By the way," said Sakura as she walked to the main door. "I didn't plan it; it just happened. But I don't care anymore. As long as he comes back alive."

The blond jounin smirked. "I knew you didn't have the guts to seduce anybody----not that you have enough equipment for that operation."

Sakura stopped and turned back to her friend dubiously. "And you do?" Then her eyes fell to the other's burgeoning belly. "Oh, right. Point taken."

"Hey!"

Sakura only smiled at her. "Thank you, Ino-pig."

Ino snorted. "Kick ass today, forehead girl."

And that's exactly what she planned to do.

Soon enough, she was in the steadily busy office of mission assignment and reporting, milling about with the enthusiastic genins garnering their list of missions for the day.

The Godaime Hokage was there, too, though not quite as perky as the pubescent novices. One thing Tsunade had yet to get the hang of over the years was the complicated sleeping schedule demanded by her position. Sometimes, she still snoozed on cozy little stacks of urgent paper work, especially after grueling meetings that last all night.

"Good morning, Sakura," the Hokage greeted with a yawn. "Back so soon?"

"It's been three days, Hokage-sama. Don't tell me I ran out of assignments again."

"Heh." Tsunade scratched an ear. "Can't always get away with that, you know."

"It's nice to hope."

"Well-rested?"

"Very."

"Good." The Hokage unfurled a list of B-class missions. "Any special requests?"

"Long, hard, and grueling, Hokage-sama."

"Like Jiraiya's." Tsunade smirked. "Porno novels, I mean. Spoken like a true Leaf ninja."

Spoken like a coward, more like it. Sakura was sick of the thoughts plaguing her. She could have stayed with Ino; the Hokage would understand. She didn't think she could survive another day of idle, however. Trying to dodge deadly projectiles and what-nots tended to keep ones mind off distant happenings. Besides, she had already missed an entire work day yesterday. She had confined herself to her room, not even bothering to send messages to her parents or to the people in charge. Ino had only knocked twice on her door that day, both times offering food and self. Sakura ate a bite once for her sake; the fierce code to take care of ones comrade was so ingrained in her, it broke through her depression.

The blond woman even took it upon herself to inform the pertinent people of Sakura's indisposition. The Harunos were informed that their daughter was a little sick, nothing serious, of course. She bravely insisted that there be no visitors, too, for which Sakura was eternally grateful. The Hokage's office was informed, as well. Even though Ino didn't say anything, the Godaime probably knew that Sakura's illness had something to do with Uchiha Sasuke. Sakura was surprised she wasn't getting the pep talk yet.

Presently, the others in her team arrived. The Hokage delivered the briefing, with Sakura fiercely attending to her every word.

"All right," the Hokage finished. "Just remember, people, that your radio equipment will be destroyed by debugging devices. Disable them before reaching the borders, please. Budget's a little tight, nowadays. Anyway, I have given you your mission. Estimated time of commencement: 0800 hours. Gambatte."

The team collectively nodded and went off to gather supplies and arms. Sakura was last to flit away, for the Hokage caught at her sleeve as the others disappeared.

"Be well, child," was all she said.

Sakura returned her gaze, nodded once, and left.

* * *

October 2nd came. Ino had not yet murdered any member of her family. Sakura still kept her precious sanity.

The five consecutive B missions she had taken on the past two days helped, of course.

That afternoon, she had been haggling with Tsunade and Iruka-sensei for another mission. Iruka-sensei bellowed at her like a bullfrog and ordered her to go home and eat supper like a normal ninja. That would leave a gaping monstrosity of several hours before bedtime, however. Besides, she wasn't that tired yet----not enough for her to collapse in bed and head right off to sleep. She wheedled for a quick little mission to fill that time. Tsunade said she had to rest her pulled back muscle (she injured herself in her second mission that day) or the damage would worsen. Her flawless arguments fell to deaf ears—not that they were intentionally being rude. A messenger had puffed into the Hokage's presence without warning, bearing tidings.

"A party of ninjas are coming. They'd reach the gates in ten minutes."

Tsunade nodded once. "I'll be there. I don't have to tell you to be wary."

"Yes." The man disappeared.

"I'll accompany you, Hokage-sama," Sakura said doggedly.

"Go home, Sakura," said Iruka, equally persistent. "That's the ANBU's job."

"Their job is to shadow the Hokage. I'm company. A pleasant one."

Iruka-sensei opened his mouth.

"Leave her alone, Iruka," interrupted Tsunade.

"But Hokage-sama—! She's sounding more and more like Naruto daily. She doesn't heal or rejuvenate spontaneously like he does."

"By the way, sensei," said Sakura. "Where _is_ Naruto?"

"I have no idea. Last I—you're changing the subject!"

"Go home to your wife, Iruka," said the hokage patiently.

"But Hokage-sama!"

"That's an order, mister."

And so, Tsunade and Sakura walked together to the village gates and up a watch tower. The sky was pinking by then. The sun shot a reddish orange to all it saw.

Sakura was somewhat surprised when an excited Ino came bounding towards her.

"Did you hear, Sakura?" she demanded. "It's _them_."

"Hokage-sama?" Sakura turned to the older kunoichi for confirmation, not even daring to hope.

"We shall see," Tsunade said simply. "Ino, calm down. Keep your head and stop imagining things."

"Yes," Ino said, abashed. "I'm sorry, Hokage-sama."

"I was warning you not to kill yourself, baka." Tsunade wrinkled her nose at her good-naturedly. "Thank me, instead of apologizing."

"Thank you, Hokage-sama."

"You, too, Sakura."

"What?" Sakura asked dazedly.

The Godaime sighed ruefully. "My point exactly."

Soon enough, five bedraggled ninjas came into view, all wearing masks. The guards impassively waited by the door, as the newcomers approached. The sentries weren't the only ones waiting; an unseen assemblage was scattered in the proximity, tensed like an plucked bow, ready to go off at a blink of an eye.

Sakura sought him among the remains of the two teams. There was a man in a make-shift litter, attended to by a medic. He was not this man, she decided with a guilty sigh of relief. She recognized him as one of those who carried the patient, recognized him easily by his stand, by his gait, by his hair.

Her fist tightened its hold on itself. It wasn't enough.

Finally, the group stopped. Fifty meters from the compound, each removed their masks to reveal the familiar faces of comrades.

If possible, the atmosphere condensed to further increase the pressure. Everyone breathed carefully, treaded softly, waited for a trick, an ambush.

Sakura wasn't paying attention to the wary goings-on. She was staring at Sasuke—not that much has changed with him. He was tall enough, somewhat slim, but not to the point of emaciation. Quietly muscled, but that she knew from being at close contact with him, not by seeing. His face was still impassive and pale, a little bloody, perhaps. He was bandaged in several places, nowhere alarming. The symbol of his clan was nowhere to be found on his person.

Her heart nearly stopped when she thought he looked to her direction. He must be feeling her eyes on him with that weird sixth sense even non-ninjas had. She hid herself better, taking her fill of his sight from the shadows of the deepening twilight.

To see him was enough. To be able to verify for herself that he still breathed... That was enough.

She didn't realize she was crying.

Finally, she tore her eyes away from Sasuke, for she was drowning in the whirlpool of emotions he elicited. The sentries were relaying to the Hokage a message: no one else would come. Tsunade nodded gravely.

Sakura scanned the faces of the survivors. One of the kunoichi in the group was Tenten, it dawned on her. So Shikamaru's team did meet up with the assassins.

Ino was shaking beside her. Sakura was late in realizing this, but she wasted no time when she did, not even bothering to wipe her soiled face. She was by Ino in a flash, had the half-fainting, expectant mother out of there swiftly.

Thus, she did not see Uchiha Sasuke staring at the empty spot she had been standing on earlier, did not see how he stared at the spot for a very long time, lost in thoughts.

0225hrs 082404 rewritten 0028hrs 082804

* * *

AN: Thanks to **seiyo** for prereading this chapter.   
The ninja saying was taken from chapter 31 of the manga, from the translation at NarutoFan. 


	8. Chapter 7: Untitled

Disclaimer: Naruto is the property of Masashi Kishimoto, etc. Just borrowing. 

Warning: Read up to 231 in the manga when this chapter was finished. Again, no spoilers really. 

Chapter 7: Untitled

"I'm sorry for bothering you, Hokage-sama. The disappointment must have been so great a shock for her that she just... snapped. Ino's been well, actually. I guess, she was so bent on her husband arriving with the others that..."

Sakura broke off.

They were in the Nara kitchen. Ino was in her bedroom, sedated by a cocktail of herbs personally administered by the Godaime Hokage, after she succumbed to an inconsolable bout of hysterics upon reaching her front door. Sakura had been terrified of her friend hurting herself, so unhinged by the sight of the strong woman she had relied on during her misery breaking in front of her. Before things could escalate any further, Tsunade, who had followed them as they stumbled away from the gates, briskly took charge of the situation.

"Nobody's expected to be as hard as steel all the time," Tsunade was saying presently. "Ninja rules are ideals. We stretch possibilities to stick to those ideals, but we balance that with practicality. In order to survive, we have to be realistic. Whether we like it or not, we're humans. We cannot be forbidden to cry. In fact, cry, cry all you want when given an opportunity. There are times when we're not given chance to grieve properly----or we don't give ourselves any. Squashing those emotions is hard work you know. It's what breaks many ninjas."

Sakura nodded solemnly. Then... "You know from experience?" she asked tentatively. "Hokage-sama?"

"You can say that." The Hokage shrugged. "She'll be fine. It won't be necessary to bring her to the hospital. Overwhelmed, I'd say."

"She's been keeping it together much better than I was doing," murmured Sakura, shamefaced. "Thank you for your help, Hokage-sama."

Tsunade stood up to leave. "Take care, Sakura."

"Yes, Hokage-sama. And if it's not too much trouble, please send messengers for Ino-chan's sake."

The other nodded.

Sakura was then left alone in the Nara's kitchen.  
  
A few hours later, she was awakened by a wry greeting. She didn't even know she was sleeping till she was startled by the man's voice.

"Oi, Sakura. Don't drool on my table. Baka."

She opened her blurry eyes to stare blearily at the huge, yawning mouth of a dark-haired jounin.

"What?" he asked in response to her stare.

"Shi–SHIKAMARU!" she yelped, scrambling out of her seat and shaking him hard by his shoulders. "You're alive!"

"Uh... the last time I checked... yeah."

"And you're here!" Sakura pounded on his back ecstatically. "Good. Ino was so upset when you didn't turn up with the others."

Shikamaru nodded. "So I heard from the Hokage," he said.

"They said nobody else was coming." Sakura hesitated. "I was afraid, too."

The tactician grunted. "We managed. Not without casualties."

"Oh, I see." A pause. "Within acceptable range, the report would say."

"Yeah. Even though there's no such thing in reality."

Sakura sighed. "Ino'll probably sleep for a while. Try not to shock her to death when she comes to. Might think you're some sort of ghost."

He nodded again. "The Hokage asked me to pass a message: go home and rest."

"Yeah, yeah." Sakura said again. "You do that, too. Rest, I mean."

"Aa. Thanks for looking after her."

"And thanks for bringing him home again."

* * *

The sun was shining overhead, but its pale light added little warmth to the early fall afternoon. In that placid day, many went through their daily routines with ordinary speed, ordinary attention. Some would pause once in a while to look up the sky to gauge how much of the day had progressed. There was a blissful sort of unwariness about that normalcy; invisible sentries skulked in the most unexpected corners, the most blatant spaces. Konohagkure was both the stronghold of formidable ninjas and the home where in they grew up and were currently growing their families; living conditions addressed both seriously.

One ninja girl, flitting above the homey, slapdash wooden village, could easily be mistaken for a feisty little brook trout skimming the water surface. There was nothing particularly fish-like about her, except that her glistening sweat-coated skin, combined with her nimble leaps from roof to roof, reminded one of a fish—if one had eyes quick enough to spot her, that is.

The problem with this village is most people do. Vigilance was all well and good, she opined, but she didn't really want to be curiously ogled as she ran around in circles, and triangles, and squares.

Because she had known that he was already home and safe, she harbored hopes of enjoying some measure of peace and for her enormous relief to sustain that. It did, actually, on the first day.

Shikamaru had arrived several minutes before midnight of October 2. He barely lingered, only sparing a minute or so to reassure his wife the he was safe and home before leaving for the rigorous debriefing. Thus, Sakura didn't end up going home that night either, opting to stay with the emotional Ino. Sakura wasn't sleepy anyway, and she giggled and cried about the most inane things with the former till about four in the morning. In the end, both were depleted of their energy reserves and had spent the last few minutes of wakefulness sitting in silence, locked in a surreal blocking only produced in the dark theater of the wee hours.

The next day (or the next few hours, to be precise) was not so bad, except that she had to rise before dawn for a string of uncomplicated B and C solo missions. Though she was exhausted enough to collapse after completing her responsibilities, she found herself wide-awake late into the night. The quietness of her solitude was suddenly eerie; the tininess of her pad grew to a monstrous vacuum that loomed about her consciousness.

There was a gap there now. It was going to take a lot of getting used to.

The strange thing about it all was that gap had never been filled before. The hole just became pronounced, was all, since somebody took a proverbial pen and underlined, scored, and encircled the damned blankness several times.

How could she miss something that was never hers in the first place?

In the end, she resorted to poring over manuals of foreign espionage equipment. For once, she was able to get what she wanted from those convoluted, highly-technical instructions: deep sleep.  
  
Now, the next day was bad. That was when _he_ started showing up at the most unlikely places. That was when she started to note that somebody up there had an _excellent_ sense of humor.

First, she nearly bumped into _him_ on a side-street people rarely use due to accumulated rubbish. He missed seeing her----or so she hoped----when she tripped behind a particularly foul pile of refuse, thanks to the sheer, gut-wrenching terror that tore through her. As she shakily washed off the worst of the gunk from her clothes and limbs at a nearby artesian well, she resolved to make an effort not to run into him again. Thereafter, the respites between her missions morphed into unbearable stretches of little eternities. It was a very nervous business.

As if to rub salt into her wounds, he popped up again that afternoon. Sakura had departed for the neighboring town and back again to fetch and deliver stock for the only boutique in all of Konohagakure. Who else was there, skulking about the rows and rows of expensive designer clothing he could certainly afford but couldn't possibly need with his type of social life? She hid among floor-length dresses hanging in display, ignoring the disapproving, disparaging look of the proprietress.

When she decided to take a very late lunch afterwards, she decided not to chance any more meetings and headed for the Hakusai's ramen house, a rival establishment of the Ichiruka. Apparently, he decided that, too, for he was already at the counter, brooding over an untouched bowl of congee. Sakura thought to hell with lunch and completed the rest of her missions on the last of her tiny breakfast hopefully still digesting in her stomach.

That evening, dreading another long night alone in her pad or an even worse one of having to keep a cheerful facade in her childhood home, she decided to go for a little nightcap. It had been perfect; drinking on empty stomach resulted with faster intoxication, so she wouldn't have to linger for hours before becoming sedated enough to go home. She was immediately invited to a table by Naruto, who was boisterously joking with other jounins over jugs of sake. Sakura scolded him for hiding from her with mock harshness and demanded to know where he had been all that time. He nervously evaded the question----something about a misunderstanding with an icy, overprotective bastard.

"A fight with Sasuke?" Sakura had asked in surprise.

"Not him!" Naruto had answered, taking a swig from his beer. "Not that he isn't icy or overprotective, that asshole. Hey, hey! Maybe you can help us get him drunk. We've been trying to squeeze out that story about that... that crossdressing prince he had to bodyguard last summer for a month now! Where the hell is he anyway?" He paused to peer about the jaunty bar. "Must be taking a piss somewhere. Hah! Real men hold it in, that emotional wimp!"

And so, Sakura had to plead exhaustion and headed straight home.

The third day, she purposely volunteered to help out the Bora family in making soap. A whole day of skinning farm animals and boiling lard was a welcomed relief from the suspense, since the Bora compound was a considerable distance from the village center, too out of the way for _him_ to possibly saunter by casually. By sunset, she was stinky, scalded in places, and quite happy. She didn't hear from him until that night, when her mother received a visitor at the front door and excused herself to see if her daughter was still in the house.

Sakura had to escape through the bathroom window, soap suds and all.

And now, the fourth day. The man couldn't take a damned hint. He had resorted to stalking her every movement, trailing her like a gnat-----slowly, disinterestedly, but surely. Why didn't he just confront her to get it over with?

By lunch time, Haruno Sakura was reduced to running. Even her application of appropriate ninja skills for concealment became half-hearted. If he meant to catch her, he would.

She paused behind a thick overgrowth of weeds on one roof and stumbled unto her haunches. Nausea struck her at the sudden change of position, and the world spiraled around her sharply. She hadn't eaten lunch or breakfast that day. She prayed her stomach wouldn't insist on hurling more of its contents----there were none left, and it would be horribly undignified for a ninja to throw up in front of a pursuer.

"Sakura."

She fought her bodily urges to the ends of her control. Her stomach stayed in her abdomen, her heart she swallowed back to her chest. She turned to face her stalker, schooling her face into a wary expression, hoping the mortified guilt wouldn't leak out of her conscience to stain her facade.

He was standing there, still clad in mourning black after all these years. The sun behind him gave his lean figure a severe cut, a shard that drove straight to her chest.

He had always been beautiful to her... He remained so, even now, even as his very countenance wrenched her apart with pain. And he would always look at her with those dark, dark eyes-----she could never tell whether they were vexed, revolted, or condescending when he was serious like that. It was almost better when the anger or resentment made his eyes honest.

He had always drawn her, even now, now that she was mature enough to know his unconscious control over her was debilitating, even though she knew their inexplicable link was a vulnerability for both of them. He was a dark, brooding man. It was strange that she would be so attracted to his tortured nimbus, like a firefly dancing for its death around an unforgiving flame.

Even his stance had her rapt with the mystery. It was as if he was only half-there, only transient in this reality, and, true enough, he always did leave her behind. She had harbored fantasies of catching him, touching him, as if the very contact would allow him to become substantial, ephemeral enough to grace a mere mortal like her. But that was not so. Sometimes, she was even jealous of their mutual best friend; Naruto could reach him, have touched him, in planes she couldn't even imagine to breach. Naruto was an equal, and she... was not.

All these years, she had hope to pull him out of what she thought was his hell----that hell was his world. She didn't have the right, or the power, to drive him out of his own or force herself into it.

She had to relinquish herself from a prison of her own making.

"You've been avoiding me," he accused, bandaged arms folded across his chest.

"Me?" Sakura feigned a mixture of indignation and puzzlement that only managed to flop into a despairing yelp. "Why on earth would I do that?"

She swallowed hard and snatched her eyes away before they could fully rest on his expressionless visage.

"What?" she stammered. "I was busy. I didn't mean to----"

"You did."

Briefly, her eyes closed. She couldn't really deny anything.

"Sasuke," she finally said, sighing. "I think I need some time and space to adjust. Please give me this. Please?"

That would be sufficient, she had hoped. He was the cold, reclusive one, after all. Maybe he would be deterred by that. Maybe he would leave her alone, seeing that she was no longer nagging him, no longer obliging him.

She faltered at his confused expression but was forced to elaborate. "You see, it won't be easy for me to just slide into a sort of normalcy." Her voice was calm now, almost whimsical; it was unbelievable how it had departed from her previously pleading tone. "You told me you can't give me what I wanted. You're right, and I understand you. But I need to get used to this for a while. Okay?"

"Sakura----"

She smiled at him and shook her head. "If it's about that..." she patted him, gently commiserating. "You're human, Sasuke-kun. We both are. And it's a normal biological response in such a situation----or so Shikamaru would say." She laughed softly.

"..."

"If it's any comfort at all, I'm happy for you," she continued. "At least, I am assured that your instincts for survival in that aspect is quite intact." She giggled wickedly, hollowly. "Ne, Sasuke-kun. You're not as suicidal as you seem to be, after all."

She kissed him on a cheek.

"Take care of yourself. Always."

She left. He didn't pursue her. She found a private place where she could cry. She cried till she ran out of tears, till her voice was spent. She wallowed in her weakness and hated herself.

In the end, she accepted the fact and took stale comfort in the numb silence.

* * *

Ino realized there was something weird going on when she saw the previously fresh and perfectly healthy greens she was rinsing now crumpled and bruised on the sink. She glared at her prune-like fingers in exasperation. At least, she had yet to wring out anybody's neck, she thought to comfort herself. As for the 14-time washed napa, they were still edible once cooked.

Right?

She abandoned the vegetables and continued with the puttering she had been doing all morning.

Everybody was missing. Her husband, her best friend, Chouji, the neighbors, even the two kunoichi her age Hinata and Tenten. There was _nothing_ to do.

That morning, she had gone to the market to get some fresh produce. While standing before a stall, mouth and hands stained with the sweet, sticky juice of the golden, heart-shaped mango, she remembered that her grocery list was still on the kitchen counter. She nearly choked on the fruit in her annoyance, but nonetheless regained composure enough to buy several pounds of various other fruits.

She didn't really manage to buy most of what she intended to, but she didn't think the trip wasted. Oh no, not at all. It was a fairly satisfying thing to glare at a certain somebody's direction. Of course, the lone Uchiha didn't react much when she deliberately walked past him, gave him a once-over, and looked away with a disdainful sniff. Hah! Sasuke has always been an insensitive bastard, that son of a–

Ino gnashed her teeth and tried to calm herself.

After she reassured herself again and again that Shikamaru really was there, Ino's concern had shifted back to Sakura. She had been worrying about the pink-haired kunoichi, especially since they haven't talked for days. Ino knew she was close with Sasuke, had some vague ideas about their relationship, though Sakura rarely talked about him. Obviously, something was wrong with Sakura, but Ino didn't know just how wrong things can get, and that's what's worrying her.

Worrying over Sakura usually converted to anger after a few minutes. Ino would impotently rage against an imaginary Sasuke, demanding him to stop playing games with the precious few people who actually cared for his ass. Despite what Sakura told her about Sasuke not loving her the same way, Ino didn't think a person like him would actually let Sakura that close unless he needed her in some way. And maybe, just maybe, that emotionally crippled fool simply didn't know what to do about his feelings.

People always assumed Uchiha Sasuke was cruel. Maybe he really was just clueless. A stupid clueless moron who needed a good beating for doing nothing but hurt her best friend.

Then again, maybe Sakura didn't really deserved the likes of him. Sakura shouldn't be saddled with that man. She shouldn't. She deserved much better.

Ino sighed as she began straightening up the bedroom she shared with her husband. The protective anger she felt was starting to get out of hand. And no, Ino was prudent enough to realize that murdering Uchiha Sasuke in broad daylight was extremely bad form, not to mention downright impossible.

Now, Shikamaru, that hardheaded ass, wasn't helping things! How many time have she told him to empty his pockets before tossing his clothes in the laundry basket? That idiot.

She shook her head as she removed remnants of fuda paper and dried leaves from the pockets of his uniform. On one pocket, she found a bloodied cloth and nearly broke down. That man was hiding things from her, was he? Why didn't he tell her he was injured enough to bleed that much? What the hell happened to no holds ba—

Her thoughts broke off. There was a crumpled piece of paper inside that balled cloth that was folded suspiciously like...

"A love letter?" Ino growled.

One of her eyes twitched. Sakura did say something about the Sand Nins' possible involvement in the Southern Crack mission. Maybe the letter was from that shameless, fan-toting hussy who...

"Hell no!"

Privacy or no privacy, Ino nearly tore the paper as she scrambled to read the neat, albeit smudged, handwriting. It was obviously not Shikamaru's.

_If you're reading this, then obviously I'm dead._

The first line was without preamble, blunt enough to hook her interest instantly. Ino scanned to the bottom of the lengthy stationery but saw no signature.

"_Yes, dead_," she continued reading, aloud this time. "_I'm not going to use euphemisms. I died for sake of mission, comrades, and village. This is our way of life, not a romance novel. So don't begrudge me of my honorable death. I don't want you chasing the ends of the earth trying to undo what's been done, what cannot be done._

"Believe me. I've tried it before.

"Incidently, mention that to the dead-last who taught me that in the first place, just in case the notion has gotten lost in his vapid skull over the years.

"I've written you, at the eve of the final step of our operation, because you still annoy me like hell, even here. I can't stop—HEY!"

Ino dove for the paper that had been so rudely snatched from her. That person is going to pay, she swore mentally. Things were just about to get interesting, dammit!

She glared at Shikamaru. He had easily dodged her attempts to retrieve the letter and was tucking it somewhere inside his vest.

"Give it back!" she demanded

"Not for your eyes, Ino," said her husband. "You must have figured that out a while ago."

"But Shika!" Ino was whining, and she didn't give a fig she was acting like a child. "It's _important_ I finish reading it!"

Shikamaru raised a lazy eyebrow at her.

"Mou!" she grumbled in disappointment. "What are you planning to do to it?"

"Burn it. The person who wrote it managed to survive, after all. The contents are now void."

"I disagree. And if I were you, I'd give that to the intended person."

Shikamaru only sighed.

"So you're giving it to her?"

"No. It'll burn, as arranged."

"Arg, I hate you."

He merely yawned. "No, you don't."

"Overconfident jerk."

Ino found that sticking out her tongue at him was amazingly gratifying. At least, it was, until he came to her and did something that rendered her all gooey and lapping at his feet.

"I really do hate you," she muttered as she returned to the kitchen to finish her cooking.

Finished writing/encoding: September 19, 2004 (1:32am)

* * *

Thanks to **seiyo** for pre-reading these two chapters. I'm sorry for badgering you and putting you through my weirdness and all my psycho-crap issues. Ahehe... 

Wait's over, ne **Neptune**? Shika and Sasuke are back. As for deception... (innocent eyes) I wouldn't really call it that. : P LOL But really, most of the fics in Sakura's POV, right? : ) I didn't really think Ino the crying type, but I thought her showing a vulnerability like that, especially regarding Shikamaru was sweet and, well, human.   
**Karine**, **trickmaster**, **Analogue Cat**, **seiyo**, I hope these two chapters make up for the "evil" ending of that one. Ehehehe... I suppose, chapter 5 was a cliffhanger, Mikazuki. I was hoping I wrote the tension effectively, so thanks for feedback on that. As for the Temari comments... LOL. 

Sakura is chuunin, **Ayce Shade**. She just mentioned D class missions because she's that desperate for distraction. And both genins and chuunins handle C class missions, so she does have competition. 

**mikki05**, I'm glad you like how Ino and Sakura interact. Ino seemed to be a v. important person to Sakura in the series despite appearances. And I've always thought Sakura broke off with Ino not only because of their rivalry over Sasuke, but also because she needed to gain some independence from her best friend. 

Finally, I have good news & sort of bad news. The good news you already know of. Two chapters were posted this week, because I realized Chapter 6 was another cliffhanger. (Yes, I do have a conscience.) Also, I wanted to get it out of the way. Which brings me to the sort of bad news. Chapter 8 won't be posted next week. Why? Because it's not written yet. I won't be able to write it in a week or two, especially with school. But rest assured. I will definitely finish this fic, most likely before the year ends. There's only 3 chapters left at most, and if ever I have to chop up one of those chapters for being too long, I'd post both at one go. (All I need is time, basically --sweatdrops--). So please be patient, and thanks for reading, as always. 

Chapter 8 will be released on: 112104 


	9. Chapter 8: Business, As Usual

Disclaimer: Naruto is the property of Masashi Kishimoto. Only borrowing.

Warning for spoilers: Chapters 180ish-234. Er.. Canon stops on 234 because altering the plot after reading each new manga chapter will kill me. Lol. Spoilers for Episode 101 and beyond.

Chapter 8: Business, As Usual

At the far eastern reaches of the country of the Fire, there was a little nook----a nook like many others, perhaps. It was basically a tiny pocket of space along the coastline of the continent, a corner formed by the thickness of the tropical rain forest.

The tides were currently low and the brackish swamp water that came and went to lap at the torturous, roots intertwined together, at times even up the low lying branches that crisscrossed one another and virtually made individual trees indistinguishable from each other, was nowhere to be seen.

The wind came and went here, came and went with the salty tang of sea air. The vast blue ocean was concealed by both the thickness of the trees and the natural shape of the land, the ever-present crashing of the waves drowned out by the forest's own noises.

Sakura darted looks to her companions, did her best to minimize the movements of her appendages. The team leader, Hyuuga Neji, was still and silent at his perch slightly above her. The blood vessels in his blazing white eyes were distended as he stared at another tree twenty feet away. To her ordinary eyes, the only remarkable thing about that tree was the abandoned nest on one of its branches, but she knew her other teammates were hidden there. Neji was intent on reading the lips of Hiyo Mayana, an eighteen year old jounin. In turn, a twenty-nine year old chuunin named Kuroro Kyou, deaf since age four, would later receive his instructions.

While three busily conferred on how to save their necks from a noose speedily tightening around them, Sakura kept her attention to her environment, carefully looking out for genjutsu attacks aimed to weed them out of their hiding places, watching for sudden movements that could preclude a fierce offensive. For the four days they've been patrolling the coast, little did they know of the platoon of ninja's insidiously surrounding them, thirteen to fourteen of chuunins and jounins intent on capturing locals for information. In such a situation, it was almost better to die in battle—no torture could prolong an agonizing death of a person already dead, at least. Either way, as a corpse or as a prisoner, you would be forced or manipulated into betraying your own village.

They had been trapped by the four-front ambush while patrolling the southern borders of the Fire Country. It was unlikely for the enemy to have turned up there, but they did. It was unlikely for them to have been able to trap a Byakkugan user and his team, but they did.

These ninjas were powerful, intended to extract information from them before rejoining a main mass of warriors. But they, Konoha nins, must manage to evade such a fate, must manage to escape and warn the village of the imminent threat. But how? They were outnumbered. Neji couldn't even confirm a visual on one or two of the enemies.

And still her teammates conferred.

The most trying aspect of impending shinobi battles, such as this, was the nervous wait. Doom was walking her way, mocking her with its careless saunter. Her instincts her screaming for her to bolt, while her senses insisted on perceiving nothing of such danger. Her heart raced, her palms sweated, her guts knotted.... and anxiety started to systematically carve at her tripes, ruthlessly clawing past flesh to get to her heart and squeeze it to the point of bursting.

Sometimes, she'd think she had gotten used to these reactions, that after the initial kick of fear, she would be able to find a center of calm. Right now, Sakura couldn't find that calm. In the end, it would be her who had to execute the plans being formulated. All would depend on her.

Her.

It felt like this, too, years ago. Years and years ago.

She was a child then, but she had been so convinced----still was—that her heart had been broken and kept breaking still as she stared at her comatose teammate.

On that day, she had finally accepted that Uchiha Sasuke was dead, really dead, even though he lay there in front of her, and despite the mass of tubing and medical equipment, he still breathed. Thus, she spoke to him as one would to a corpse.

"You don't like a lot of things," she had been prattling then stupidly. "I noticed that, and well, you did say that the day we first met Kakashi-sensei. Remember that?" She laughed weakly. "And you'll say you don't remember, if you can talk right now, I'd bet. He was late then, too, you know. Must have been some foreshadowing applied by... by... a Lee-san with all his gates open." Again, she giggled. Inanely. "That's senseless, ne? I shouldn't say such things, even figuratively. Lee-san would end up like you, if he opened all his gates: dead."

She paused.

"Lee-san's surgery was a success, by the way. If you're interested at all. It's not like you dislike Lee-san the way you dislike Naruto, right? I know you never liked Naruto. And, hey, I used to not to. Well... sometimes, I don't. He just annoys me sometimes. Following me around—much like how I annoy you. Even so, I thought... I always thought that despite all the fighting you do, despite that rivalry thing----a boy thing I wouldn't understand, I suppose—despite that, I thought you're still friends.

"Then again, how can one do such a thing to a friend?" She stopped, face scrunched up in a colossal effort not to blubber. "How can you do this?"

It was true. There was no denying it.

Three days ago, the five genins sent to retrieve Uchiha Sasuke came back one by one, escorted by medic nins, and sporting brand-new holes and what-nots in their anatomy. Holes! Not that Sasuke made any of them. The Sound nins that had taken him were soundly defeated but not before they pushed his rescuers to their limits and beyond.

Kiba and Shikamaru weren't in such bad states, but Neji and Chouji were still being closely monitored. They were nothing compared to Naruto. Despite his amazingly swift recovery from his injuries, the ordinarily hyperactive ninja was destroyed in ways more than one. He had been reticent, merely slipped between fitful sleep and brief, silent wakefulness, after his initial determination to capture Uchiha Sasuke when he first came to.

But then...

There was no need.

Sasuke had been found a day later by Kakashi and his dogs. There was a reason why there was no third chidori, Kakashi-sensei had said. The cells in the human body could only manage to allow such great amounts of energy to course through in such short periods of time, without long intervals in between usage. Unlike the pills of the Akamichi family, the effects of the chidori on the body was not well-researched or documented. Thus, Sasuke remained as he was when he was found, comatose.

It was very lonely to have two teammates who kept on sleeping. Sakura visited Naruto, too, but she didn't ramble to him. He usually awakened to her voice, but his inattentive stare elsewhere unnerved her.

More often than not, Sakura let him sleep on, sitting at his bedside in silence. She figured he needed the sleep----he did take three of Sasuke's chidori.

Of course, she knew Sasuke used all three chidori on Naruto. It was fairly easy to guess.

Sasuke wouldn't wake no matter how long or loud she talked, so she did so to her heart's content. She didn't try slapping him awake or anything, since he probably needed sleep, too. Besides, she never had such an opportunity to talk like this, with him actually staying put in one place.

The progression of Orochimaru's curse seal was indefinitely suspended by the combined efforts of Tsunade-sama and several medics. His body was trying its best to heal, the Hokage had said. The curse seal seemed to work by pulling one into an accelerated state of metabolism for short periods of time, pushing a certain threshold at each stage, thus multiplying chakra production and pushing physical limitations indefinitely. The possible repercussions were innumerable.

So Sasuke wanted to kill his brother that badly... but what about Naruto? And after the three chidori, did he just leave Naruto because his opportunity to escape had come or because he was simply no longer able to spare strength for such an easy kill?

"Sasuke," Sakura had said then. "I wonder, how long had you wanted to kill Naruto. And why. That time at the rooftop, was that on impulse? Or was that an ambition of yours too? To prove with his body that you are strong? I was so scared then. But I thought it was because of Orochimaru and your brother. I told Naruto that and asked him to take you back. It's my fault he's like that now. Because I'd like to think you're still in there somehow.

"Are you? Sometimes, I lose sight of you. Where are _you_?

"I can only tell myself guesses and hopes. I can only do that for so long... So maybe I'd let it be. I won't ever expect explanations, rationalizations. You won't give me any, so I won't ask. Really, I won't. Not anymore. I won't."

But then her melodramatic monologue was cut short when he woke up there and then. "Protect the Fourth's isan," he said. And that was that.

That was that.

Apparently, Orochimaru's stronghold was attacked by his former comrades, the Akatsuki. Perhaps, Sasuke encountered members? Who knew? As it was, their target had always been the Yondaime Hokage's isan, heritage. Which, Sakura learned, was Naruto.

So she became one of the ruses to misdirect attention from the Naruto being carried away. It was just her luck that Itachi came to her first, attacked her first. It was just her luck to be able to glimpse the most powerful Kohona nin ever, the man who wrought Sasuke as he was, the ultimate reason why her team had been sundered.

The sharingan was a body part, a part of the eye, a vessel and channel of power. Kakashi-sensei said so, Zabuza the Mist missing nin said so: the sharingan was a hypnotic tool, and it was the genjutsu that fooled the enemy. The mangekyou sharingan catapulted the levels of usable genjutsu, captured one into another reality, a reality purposed to breakdown the opponent's soul.

She had been lucky to survive. She wanted to die at that time, in fact. She wanted to die as she lay there in the darkened hospital room, as she maintained the henge no jutsu that shrouded her with Naruto's likeness, as she saw the looming figure of death himself.

Now, in the present, she could still feel the unspeakable, numbing terror. Even though she had been sedated then. Even though Itachi actually used the sharingan on her rescuers. Even though she lived and Itachi left, did not return for years. Even though she slept through the rest, slept through Sasuke's awakening, slept through Naruto allowing him to escape willingly with a solemn vow to hunt the former to ends of the earth. Each man to his own path... Each woman.

So now, she had to do this. She had to live the path she had chosen. Fear was ever-present, but to lose to fear was unacceptable. So she would not run, even if she could. She would await her enemies, the unnamed ninjas who threatened her village, threatened to reignite the hidden shinobi war that ravaged the 5 great shinobi countries more than twenty years ago. They would come and she would prepare, as she did more than ten years ago, under that pristine white hospital sheet.

But this time, she'd break the enemy. They would break. She and her team would escape. Her village would be warned. This mad descent into a renewed shinobi war would stop.

But until then, she would abide, up this tree, in this mangrove forest.

* * *

He knew it. They've dallied too long. Uzumaki Naruto checked his team with a quick sweep of his eyes up front and a brief glance behind him. Kiba led the way with his ever-present partner Akamaru, no longer a puppy. Kaheel and Miranda, both chuunins, brought up the rear and with their combined techniques would surely cover their backs. Uchiha Sasuke raced somewhere beside him. He, too, must know that they've lingered for too long at that eastern farming village. Naruto was waiting for an acid remark concerning his fascinatingly precise forethought, but the man was almost more reticent these days, not exactly brooding, but thinking deep. Not that Sasuke didn't respect his team leader. It was simply their routine, so to speak. Sasuke would insult him, he would bellow indignantly. He would boast, Sasuke would burst his bubble.

There were always silences before storms. Sasuke had been through pretty crazy storms before, so Naruto watched him as carefully as he could, what will all the things he needed to attend to. And Sakura, don't even let him get started with Sakura. The mental health of his two best friends were the last things he'd be allowed to worry about. Heck, his mental health wasn't the most stable right now, either (Iruka sensei called it paronayo or something like that). But he couldn't worry about that either. Or about Neji bent on cracking his—

He was not scared of Neji!

So there.

The past few days left him little time to be scared of the pale-eyed Hyuga (and he wasn't!). Ten days ago, the assassination team returned from the Southern Crack country. A flurry of preparations followed as various reconnaissance groups returned to report the movements of enemy forces. Tsunade-sama thus deployed several patrol groups to the northwest, where the thick forests gradually tapered into plains and the western farmlands, where many invasions tend to occur due to the sheer size of the border to be protected. On the 8th of October, their patrol group stumbled into refugees from a farming village.

Now, Naruto knew he was going to get heat for overstepping his authority. Of course, it was a trap, he knew, the foreign ninja wouldn't have allowed survivors to escape and spread news of their presence—unless they wanted opposition from the Konoha nins. To spring their traps deliberately and return the favor to the enemies was the course of action Naruto chose. He couldn't bear the thought of helpless civilians languishing in the hands of those nameless ones, so he lead his team to the farming village.

Naruto received little resistance from his team, not even from Sasuke, who sometimes seemed to disagree with him for the heck of it. Kiba was actually itching for a shinobi battle, which he got later.

Indeed, a trap was prepared for them in that village. They narrowly escaped the ambush, but reclaiming the farming village took another day of planning and another day for execution.

And now, the twelfth of October... Kakashi-sensei would be ashamed of him.

"A ninja must see underneath the underneath."

Naruto did not see the underneath until a search of the surrounding farmlands produced no signs of the ninja invaders they had driven from the village. Those ninjas incurred serious wounds, and unless someone carried them off, they should be dying there in little pockets of vegetation dotting the fields, somewhere near.

But there was nothing.

When the lone ninja they managed to capture finally broke, he died almost immediately. The mangekyou sharingan was usually useful in interrogations, usually much less messy, but on that day, Sasuke overdid it.

"We've been circumvented," Sasuke said coolly announced, seconds after his captive's eyeballs practically exploded in his face. As Kaheel, the medic nin, scrambled to wash off the goo from the indifferent Uchiha (shrieking about blood-borne pathogens and, "You gotta teach me how to raise somebody's blood pressure that high!"), the rest of the team scrambled to find the tracks at their enemies' wake. For two days now, Naruto and the others had been tracking a six-man team.

That team steadily moved eastward. Yesterday, the foreign group joined with a three other ninjas. Meanwhile, the Konoha nins met a few of their own as well; they were either decimated or dead. The dead they had no choice but to bury quickly. As for the injured...

Well, Naruto and his team planned to split up yesterday to take the two survivors they found back to the village with news. They were attacked, however. It weakened the members too much to risk diluting their forces. Thus, they persisted in trailing the enemy.

Narut knew he had to adjust their intent to maximize the usefulness of their team. He had several suspicions on how the invaders managed to infiltrate the borders without raising alarm. Worse, he knew some of the enemy forces came from the east, possibly via the sea. It's possible that the foreign ninjas were already positioned at strategic points around the village, that they were only waiting for the last of their forces to arrive, that their attack hinged on surprise and speed instead of number

What was their intentions?.

There were too many questions that needed answering. They only needed one person to warn the village after all, and right now, Naruto needed every man he had. They'd have to gather as much information as possible first. The village must already have gotten wind of enemy movements that close to it, but details would be invaluable.

Something was about to happen.

* * *

In the fishing village somewhere along the coastline of the Fire country, the idyll heat-dazed noon was rent by the screams of a laboring woman. Elsewhere, while that infant struggled to burrow its way out into the world from his warm, dark sanctuary, a noose steadily enclosed around four people.

Sakura's breathing hiked as the furtive movements came closer and closer. No ninja could be that careless, unless these invaders were arrogantly underestimating them. Perhaps, it was a sort of ruse, a distraction...

Exactly! A distraction. She must not fall for it, must trust her teammates to cover her as needed. She must concentrate on finding the most opportune moment to strike. Time was of the essence.

Movements again, closer this time. Much too close.

Those movements couldn't have been made by a human. It almost seemed like a small animal, a creature that had an ability to climb a tree. The serene water beneath her stirred (yes, the tides had risen now; the ambush had been in stasis for that long). Dark shapes began wounding themselves around the gnarled roots of the partially submerged tree, crawled its way slowly up the thick, wizened giant.

Sakura's grip on the branch tightened. She could not feel anything. Nobody was using chakra, as far as she could tell, therefore it could not be genjutsu. But it could still be a part of the enemies' attack. It could only be a mere animal.

Some sort of a sea snake, perhaps? Some of the most venomous snakes dwelt in seawater, certainly in the deeper parts of the ocean. Why not here at this salt-water swamp? Or perhaps, it could be an insidious jutsu, like Orochimaru's reptilian transformation from more than a decade ago, the time he branded the curse seal on Uchiha Sasuke's neck.

_Make up your mind!_ growled her inner self. _We cannot lose!_

A kunai. And several shurikens. If that creature got any closer, she would strike. Until then, she must not give away her position. She must not... she must not...

"It's real!" she managed to gasp, as the slithering shadows suddenly gained speed and, at the blink of an eye, shot out to clamp her mouth shut.

Animated vines! They were not genjutsu, they cannot be, for she cannot sense chakra itself, cannot cancel the spell with her own. They were real plants. And they really were throttling her, steadily crushing her thorax, sadistically toying with her as those tendrils encircled her neck, tensing to almost the point of breaking her spine----almost but not quite! It was as if it sprouted sentience...

Suddenly, she was yanked down. Her scream stayed in her mouth as her body obeyed gravity, her stomach violently protesting as she plummeted into the brackish water.

Cold and dark. Impending death. She was losing sensation in some parts of her body, losing awareness of her fingertips, her nipples, the tip of her nose. But she could still hear, even underwater. The sound of clashing arms, the roar of battle.

The ruse worked.

Of course. It was her ruse. It had brought about the opportune moment. It had come.

Blood trickled through the sudden cuts that bloomed on her arms and legs. She ignored the weapons that grazed her, meant to free her from Mayana's elaborate attack. Her concentration was on the series of seals her hands were performing, on keeping the calm that kept her oxygenated state last.

Her belly began to glow, began to contract inwardly as if preparing to implode. The intensity of the ball of light, formerly her navel, began to grow as it gathered power.

The minature sun rose out of the water as it used her body for fuel. That ball still expanded, blinded all. Sakura, who was Sakura no longer, could see the curious tableau that was sprawled prettily on the damp earth of the shore. Hyuga Neji was on the process of landing a gentle-fist attack on a fierce-looking kunoichi, while her comrade's leg froze in a kick toward Neji's head. Two more lay at his feet, writhing. Mayana was holding off a three-fold ambush while another man rushed for her. The deaf Konoha nin had already taken three enemies down and still battled another. Two of the enemies seemed to have decided not to join the fray, for they stood nearby in that tiny split of a second between Sakura's emergence from the water and the powerful release of her genjutsu attack.

Lightning fast, she gathered the threads of her chakra, the labyrinthine web she had entrapped their enemies on, and knotted them. It was only a matter of time before the spell dissipated on its own. Then, it would be up to her team to take advantage of their stunned opponents, to attack mercilessly and escape swiftly.

Meanwhile, she must escape at once. She was extremely vulnerable now, now as she underwent a refractory period that inevitably came after releasing such ridiculously large amounts of chakra that pushed way beyond her limits... Yes, they would escape. They would be able to escape in time to warn the village.

But wait! Something was wrong with that scar-faced Nameless one. Why did his smile seem to be widening? Why did he seem to have gotten closer to her?

Because he was closer.

He had broken the spell prematurely.

And she... why, her stupid legs wouldn't move. They wouldn't even support her! She turned to bolt, but the world spun around her unexpectedly. And the darkness crept at the sides of her eyes and crept closer still, till there was nothing but black.

There was nothing but black.

* * *

Like their namesake, the Konoha nins could truly soar with the wind if needed. The team Uzumaki Naruto was leading had covered leagues of the vast forests that covered the Fire country in an unbelievably short span of time. In three days, they had traversed the Southern reaches of the country from inland to the coast, as they trailed the platoon they still followed. It was hard to see through the thickness of the forest, but Naruto could already smell the salt lingering in the winds that periodically whipped through their paths, could hear the rumbling of the not-so-distant shoreline.

Only a few hour ago, Kiba reported the sudden change in the enemy movements. It became distinctly that of a predator stalking its meal.

There was going to be another ambush.

It was almost too late when they managed to catch up with the foreign nins. Naruto barely had time to coordinate his teammates' planned attacks, as they waited tensely for the enemy to move. Fifteen foreign nins had formed a lasso around a Konoha four-man patrol group. Nine against fifteen. It wasn't so bad, and they had the element of surprise on their side.

But then, so did the enemy.

A scream! Familiar. Sakura's.

Naruto leapt past an overgrowth and up a higher branch for better visual, just in time to see a kunoichi, her otherwise conspicuous pink hair hidden in a black turban, plunge to the lapping water with a crash. The sortie had begun.

Naruto was about to join the fray, to see if Sakura was all right, at least, but a firm hand held his shoulder down.

"I don't give a shit, Sas---"

"Wait," the other snapped.

Something was happening. Pulsating light was coming from the water, rendering surrounding murkiness to be a sick green gloss. The halo emerged from the water, drawing everyone's attention with its repulsive, yet entrancing glare.

"The Dying Sun?" Naruto mouthed, stunned. "She has perfected it?"

"Don't look!" hissed his companion.

_We're too far_, thought Naruto, but did as he was told anyway. A sudden surge of chakra lashed from the intense ball. Naruto felt fringes of the radiation, but he was able to resist the impulse to stare at the source headlong. He knew what that illusory spell held, anyway, having been subjected to it once while it was still in its developmental stages. He had no wish to be devoured by a world dying by fire and ice both.

The following events took place within seconds.

Sakura had already completed her technique when Naruto deigned to open his eyes. She was standing there in the middle of the clearing, was on the verge of flitting off to escape...

Then, that scarred nin was behind her. And she was no longer running but falling.

The spell was broken.

She failed, then?! Naruto's mind exclaimed in disbelief.

No, she did not. Neji and the others had already gained advantage, taking down their stunned enemies swiftly and efficiently. She must have been releasing them first.

But this man, this man broke the spell on his own long before he was meant to.

Sakura did succeed in buying time for her team, but at the cost of her life? And the gamble had almost been unnecessary—if only they, Naruto and his team, had come earlier...

Only two seconds had passed. Never had Naruto felt so slow in his life.

"Cover me, Sas---"

Sasuke was not there.

"Damn it!"

Naruto threw himself then, willing himself to stop the blade that intended to slice through his old teammate. But if he came fast, the blade slithered through the air faster still, the wedge coming closer and closer as the enemy swung back for the killing slash.

A line of silver.

Black cloth and cherry blossoms falling, falling, falling...

The falling Leaf hovered in midair as time froze for Naruto. Blinding sunlight suddenly flashed across her—a ray reflected from a scratched hita-aite headband, perhaps. Then Sasuke was hurtling toward her, too, along side that speeding sword. His arms stretched out, reached out... till the space between their bodies shrank ...till the lone sakura petal could be seen in its graceful descent, alone but for the shadow it was superimposed upon.

Sakura landed in Sasuke's arms as his feet touched the earth, and immediately, his legs tensed for propulsion. Still, the blade came, now heading for the unprotected back of the sole, remaining Uchiha.

But then, Naruto was there, too.

Blood dripped from his armguard, from where the metal dug into his flesh. But his snarling grin promised victory.

Needless to say, Naruto won that fight.

Everywhere else, Konoha nins were subduing the enemies.

"How's the body count?" came Mayana's question.

"Up!" Kiba replied enthusiastically.

"Arg! We need a few alive, people."

Neji came to Naruto then. Naruto was deeply disappointed with that.

"You knew the right me?" he asked as he cancelled his trusty Kage Bunshin no Jutsu.

"You reek," said Neji. "What happened to Sasuke and Sakura?"

"Probably on their way back to the village. What happened?"

"I don't know. She suddenly disappeared."

"Disappeared?"

"The Byakugan. She vanished. No chakra. Like a candle extinguished."

"No chakra? She's alive, though, right?"

"You saw what I saw. She had no reason to be dead or dying."

"Tsunade-obaachan would fix her," Naruto said finally. His voice was splashed with his usual confidence, but he looked up to where his friends disappeared with worry in his eyes.

* * *

Konoha Hospital.

After helping Neji's team fight off invading foreign nins, Naruto's team separated from them to inform other patrol groups of the Nameless Ones' ploy. Naruto and Kiba themselves returned to the village after trailing the survivors of the encounter in the mangrove forest. They then talked briefly with Tsunade and reported the movements of the foreign ninjas. Afterwards, they headed to the hospital to talk to Sasuke.

They found him in a lounge by the emergency room. He was sitting there, staring distantly.

"You're welcome, you overconfident fuck," Naruto said as he collapsed beside the dark-haired jounin. "You're crazy, you know that? What if I didn't get there on time? I don't want your blood on my hands, dammit."

Kiba slapped his back comfortingly. "It's because we trust you that much with our lives, oh-great-leader," he intoned. Then grinning, fangs barred, he added. "Right, Sasuke?"

Sasuke shrugged. "She said I'm suicidal," he said vaguely.

"Damn straight," Naruto said sulkily. He shook his head. "How's Sakura?"

"No word yet. Obviously."

"Not obviously. Would you have taken off after finding out if she's okay?

Sasuke chose not to answer that.

Meanwhile, a nurse came to them.

"Excuse me," she said. "You are companions of the young lady, Haruno Sakura?"

"Yeah, yeah," said Naruto. "Is she all right?"

"Her life is in no longer in danger as of now," the young woman assured.

"What happened to her?" asked Sasuke.

"That is what we are trying to find out right now. But for now, I have routine questions. You see, there are certain healing jutsu that are contraindicated for certain conditions. Now, this young lady is twenty-four, for example, and is of child-bearing age. I have to know if she's pregnant."

"Pregnant?" said Naruto in surprise. "No." But the subtle change in Sasuke's bearing hit him like a thunderbolt.

The stare he directed to the man beside him was unreadable. "Then again," Naruto added quietly. "How would I know about these things?"

"But is there any chance at all, you think?" the nurse asked, busily scribbling down notes.

It was Sasuke who answered her.

110904 23:11

AN: First of all, sorry this is late. I'm sure you know about Ffnet being on read-mode only on 11/22.

**Lady Light**, **E-chan Hidaka** (I'm glad the role reversal made you laugh), **animEvivvErz**, **silvia**, **agent vash**, **trickmaster** (luv the rhymes, btw XD), **Bittersweet Mika**, **KakaSaku**, **regyne**, **Ayce Shade**, **NuttyScribbler**, **joann**, **Akari-Saxy** ( I'm glad you liked the childbirth & sex convo. LOL), **Emir**, and to all the readers of this fic: thanks for waiting and reading. ) I hope you enjoyed this chapter, too.

**Icarus'Song**, I won't be lowering the rating of this fic to PG-13 because it still has the potential to have explicit content in the future. Also, some readers might feel awkward reading some parts in the previous chapters, not because of explicitness, but... er, it's an age thing. I remember what it's like to be thirteen and reading something like this. Ahahaha... (Then again, I'm relatively prudish.) I have to agree, though, that this fic doesn't strictly fit the definition of angst anymore. 

**Analogue Cat**, "kami-sama" means "god/gods."

**Yoka**, on Ino and Sakura's relationship being part of their personalities, I agree with you. )

Well, that's it for now.

Next chapter: 121204 (at the latest) 


	10. Chapter 9: Enduring and Endearing

Disclaimer: Naruto is not my property. Just borrowing.

References to manga chapters 4, 181, & 225.

Chapter 9: Enduring and Endearing

It was like that time, she remembered, when she leaped off a cliff with the thunderous waterfall in a sublime moment of freedom and fearlessness. Exhilaration (and perhaps the force with which she smacked against the water surface) made her lightheaded then, but never had she felt so one with nature.

She was sixteen, on her way home from an escort mission to the country of Pine. Her spirits had soared with the beauty of the unadulterated earth, and she surprised her sensei and teammates when on impulse, on sheer impulse, she abandoned the search for the hidden trail down the steep mountainside and took the shortest way down. The whirling currents carried her to the surface slowly, and there were blues and grays and greens that swirled around her as she went. It wasn't really seeing, but more like feeling. It felt wonderful when she emerged from the tempest, when her head bobbed up from the roiling water, and her first gulp of air came with sweet laughter. Even the welcoming scowls of her teammates and sensei as they fished her downstream when they caught up an hour later didn't dampen her mood.

Sasuke had ignored her the rest of that journey, a fact she didn't give much thought to at the time. Now, she wondered whether he was annoyed by the delay she caused or by the worry she inspired in him. Right now, however, she couldn't continue dreaming up more silly, girlish reasons as to why that happened, because she was already waking up.

How disappointing, she thought.

She opened her eyes to a mildly sunlit room. The curtains were drawn to let light in from the partially clouded skies and into the strikingly white hospital room. It was quiet in there, and the sound of bustling activity of the outside world drifted in from a distance to soften that emptiness.

Sakura felt somewhat tired still and was tempted to close her eyes again. She'd prefer to know where she was and why she was there before zoning out again, but thinking about it took too much effort. Incuriously, she looked around the room and eventually noticed the two pairs of eyes focused on her.

She was alive, her brain processed. She was probably in Konohagakure no Sato itself—failing that, among friends, at least.

Nobody spoke for the longest while, but Sakura didn't really mind. Maybe even listening would have tired her out. She certainly doubted being able to initiate a conversation among her visitors herself. The hinge of her jaws seemed a bit stuck and her throat was drier than a dead leaf.

Finally, the lanky young man on the right side of the room, the one squatting on the other hospital bed, ran his hand through his spiky, blond hair and sighed.

"All right, you two," he said as he stood and walked toward her. "First of all, I'm glad you're awake now, Sakura-chan," he said. "We were worried, you know. Secondly, I want to tell you guys that I'm kinda hurt by all this shit. It's the sort of thing you tell you're best _friend_ after all." He sighed, blue eyes narrowing thoughtfully. "I think I'll go for lunch now, and you two can sort things out and decide what stuff you need to explain to the snail-brained Uzumaki Naruto."

Sakura was still trying to decipher that onslaught of words and emotions when the door opened to let in a masked, gray-haired man.

"Hello, everyone," he said. "I was in the neighborhood and I heard about the little incident in coastal Fire country..."

"She's fine, sensei," the younger jounin assured him brusquely. "But you owe me lunch at the Ichiraku's."

"Right now?" Kakashi scratched his head. "Two bowls, was it?"

"Two meals," corrected Naruto as he sauntered to the door. "But since great, almost legendary ninjas like you are good at hiding, you can just pay for my girl's meal and you're covered."

"Well, it's cheaper that way." Kakashi lingered at the doorway to address his bedridden former student. "Rest well, Sakura." The door shut in time to catch his sigh.

The silence at the wake of master and pupil was more potent in bringing Sakura back to her senses than all the racket the two made. Belatedly, she realized she had reason to not want to be left alone, but her protest died on her lips when the finality of the door knob clicking back in place echoed in the room.

She was now alone with Uchiha Sasuke. And she could barely move, let alone jump out the window and on to safety.

Now why would she do such a thing?

Oh, right. She had been avoiding him.

Well, she was still avoiding him. Her sleepy green eyes lazily scanned the neat room, traveled down the thin hospital gown she wore, the white sheet she was wrapped in, the foot of her bed, the opposite wall with its posted adages to heal fast and rest patiently, the stark ceiling, the partitioning curtain pushed open... Anywhere that didn't remotely look like two dark eyes, a possibly perfect nose, a stern mouth, and unruly black hair.

What was he doing here, she wondered lamely. What was _she_ doing there?

Either he was there to tell her or he was there to find out himself, she thought. Or he was there because he knew perfectly well that she was virtually trapped with him in there, she couldn't run away like the last time, and she'd have to hear whatever he wanted her to. But then, she was being stupid. He was still her friend. It was only natural for him to be concerned for her. How could she deprive him of that?

Yes, she could vaguely recall now. She had used the Dying Sun technique, a high-level genjutsu attack she developed herself, when her patrol group was ambushed by the Nameless Ones. It unexpectedly sapped her of all her energy and she collapsed. Somebody must have saved her from the foreign nin who broke from the spell prematurely because the last she could remember was the promise of death in the flat, cold-blooded grin of her enemy.

"Che," she griped, clutching her blanket in frustration.

The Dying Sun was far from perfect. A fifty percent success rate for such a technique was unacceptable. It was not yet reliable enough for an entire team to hinge their operations on, to trust the mission on. And the aftermath... She must have miscalculated the amount of chakra she needed versus the amount she was capable of producing; it was the only explanation for her collapse. Regardless, she must analyze the situation as soon as possible: how she failed, where she failed, what she must do the next time.

In the meantime, she must decide what to do with the silent Uchiha Sasuke in her hospital room. After all, there was a slight chance he wouldn't stay quiet all throughout his stay.

She glanced at him nervously, but he wasn't looking at her. He was staring at the window, following the movements of a bird of prey that wheeled four times as some sort of signal. That was a good thing, wasn't it? Perhaps, he wasn't interested in vituperating her about her stupidity, or her carelessness, or her—

Black and green met.

She looked away first, because his eyes were impregnable and she quaked under them like a tower of scrolls hastily piled atop one another by some overzealous genin. Then she was clawing her blanket away and mumbling about unsanitary bathrooms and there being peeping toms in every single village of Fire Country—where was the world going to?—and that he'd have to excuse her because she had an appointment with her bladder and that...

That—that he let go of her this _instant_ because she was not an invalid!

Sakura was just in the process of putting her socked feet on the floor when she felt him behind her all of a sudden in that classical sneakiness most of team 7 inherited from the Copy Ninja. She hated it when he did that to her because she wasn't some enemy to be stalked and, as much as she hated to admit it, he still startled her sometimes. Mostly, it was because it reminded her of things that sting too much to be called up in memory so casually.

Besides, it wasn't as if she was this weakling who needed—

Her opening mouth stopped midway, leaving the rest of her indignant admonishment to die in her throat and her jaw hanging slack. It was good he held her by both elbows firmly. Heck, she'd be spread out on the floor otherwise, with her butt exposed and her dignity splintered. Her knees were wobbling, unable to bear her weight. Her vision came in waves. Her head felt like a balloon.

"What?" she gasped.

At that moment, the door opened to usher in a girl. She didn't even look thirteen to Sakura, but she commanded an air of incontestible authority.

"Oh, good," she said brightly. "You're awake, Haruno-san."

Briskly, she went to Sakura, shooed off Sasuke, and had the pink-haired chuunin reclined on her bed, propped up among pillows, before Sakura could even answer the greeting.

"Uchiha-san, I distinctly remember advising you not to let her out of bed yet," she scolded, smiling sweetly. Her eyes, however, sparkled dangerously, evilly. "Please, I urge you to heed our recommendations. After all, we aim to heal."

"..."

"Any pains, Haruno-san? How do you feel?"

"No pain," answered Sakura. "Tired."

"Ah." The girl nodded sagely, chewing on that bit of information thoroughly.

"Who are you?" Sasuke's tone was a bit ungracious, Sakura had to admit.

"Oh, I'm sorry for totally forgetting to introduce myself. I'm Yukimura Solilaea. I am a mednin." She paused. "Well, I'm an apprentice under Shizune-sensei, so technically I'm still in training. But I'm eighteen, okay? I really am of age to see naked people, despite the usual reaction of patients when they first meet me."

"What happened to me?" Sakura asked.

The girl hesitated. "Um, it's a little personal. Is it okay for Uchiha-san to--"

"Let him stay," murmured Sakura. At the same time, Sasuke firmly said, "I'm staying."

"Okay then," the girl continued without missing a beat. "I understand you weren't hit by any bodily attacks? During the mission?"

"No. Not that I know of. Mayana staged an attack with her vines as a ruse. That was nothing. I used genjutsu, but I must have miscalculated somewhere and used up all chakra, even reserve. It's not immediately afterwards that I fainted, but there was a lag wherein I could move normally. Then, there was an enemy after me. I couldn't move. I passed out so I don't know what happened after."

"She was not touched," Sasuke said. "Her comrades saw to that."

He spoke as if he saw with his own eyes, she thought, avoiding even looking to his direction. Sakura bit her lip. Was he the one who had to rescue her again, she wondered.

"It wasn't a problem of technique," he spoke on. "There were extraneous factors that influenced the fight."

"Yes," the young medic nodded thoughtfully. "That's true, Haruno-san."

Sakura looked up to the earnest brown eyes of the child. It seemed something important was about to be said.

"Haruno-san, we took the liberty of running certain tests on your blood aside from the routine ones. No test is a hundred percent accurate, of course, and you really need to hear the heartbeat for the earliest objective sign. See, there's this hormone in your blood---"

Sakura already knew what the child was trying to say, but her mind refused to accept it. "It can't be," she mouthed in disbelief.

"Yes. Hinata-sama had confirmed seeing a second life force----"

"Impossible." Her face had become even paler and her hands shook as they went to her face. "I tested myself."

"It could have been a fluke," the medic said gently. "It happens. Were there other signs?"

"Anorexia, amenorrhea, moodswings, fatigue," Sakura recited. "I attributed them all to depression."

"Were you?" The child came closer to her and took her hand to offer support. "It's possible, what you said."

"I---" Sakura gasped when she remembered something. Her neck nearly snapped when she spun around to look at Sasuke. His dark eyes bore into her, unreadable and unsurprised.

He already knew.

Sakura breathed deeply, managed to keep tears in, kept her chest intact, and slowly turned away again, terrified and ashamed.

"Would you like privacy now?" the medic asked, an apologetic lilt made her voice rich despite her hushed tones.

"No," Sakura whispered back. "He has a right to hear this. I've already wronged him enough as it is." She swallowed, then in a louder, steadier voice, she said, "Please, doctor. Continue with your explanation."

The girl nodded. "It happens like this. A child is formed in the womb by the woman's body and becomes a part of it, in many ways. The body then has to take in more, ultimately uses up more energy and resources. Like hormones, the chakra flow in your body fluctuates, too, as it does its job. It's just more pronounced now, and additional stress like very high level jutsus have unpredictable results. As you know, chakra is derived from physical energy. When you performed that jutsu, I guess your body was unable to keep up and your chakra production failed. The jutsu thus consumed all other energy in you body, which is needed in cellular function, and basically, your body stopped working for some period of time. So you see, that's why many kunoichi are recommended to stay off the field—or the more challenging missions, anyway—while they're in the family way. You could literally drop dead."

There was a brief silence as Sakura digested the information she was given and its implications.

Then, finally... "I understand. Thank you." And she let go of the medic nin's hand.

The ensuing silence was ungracefully marred by the wailing of alarms from somewhere else in the building.

"I would have to ask to be excused, Haruno-san," the girl said. "A large party of injured ninja are coming. Meanwhile, please rest. Uchiha-san."

Sasuke nodded in acknowledgement. Yukimura Solilaea, medic ninja-in-training, then exited the room briskly, closed the door behind her softly, and left Haruno Sakura alone with the father of her child.

Again, nobody said anything for the longest while. Sakura was still trying to swallow the news she had just received from such a young face, a face, she realized, that was not much younger than hers. She had been anticipating this weeks before, had collapsed in disappointment and guilt when she thought it didn't happen after all, but now... it was numbing.

And worst of all, Sasuke was there. Sasuke had not said a word to her, nor her to him. She knew he had things to tell him, things to explain and discuss. But then, all she could think of was that she was sorry. She wanted to say it so badly, but her mouth wouldn't cooperate. She was sorry.

"I'm sorry."

Sakura started, but she kept her gaze on her hands and waited. He said what she wanted to say, but what was he sorry for, she wondered. That he knocked her up? That he couldn't have anything more to do with her? That he was manipulated into touching her? That he even knew her?

He sounded like he meant it, too.

"This happened because I'm weak," he continued quietly. He was now sitting at the foot of the bed, a few inches from the spot the medic nin had vacated. "It's such a bad time. War. I'm sorry."

"N-no," Sakura finally managed. "It's my weakness that caused this." This time, she looked at him fully, her heart in her eyes, pleading. "I know it doesn't look good. But I'll raise this child myself. I'll leave the village. Anything! You don't have to get involved. You don't have to do anything. But please, let me keep the child."

Sasuke twisted sideways to stare at her. Amazingly, what hint of emotion she could glimpse in those dark depths was raw pain... which was readily engulfed by abyss when he snorted derisively.

"But of course," he said. "If I could try to kill a friend to gain power for vengeance, why not coerce another to become my breeding sow? It's logical. It's consistent. Very possible." He paused to suck in air, continued to struggle with some inner upheaval. "Yes, I can do that. I can deliberately steal your life. I've done it."

Sakura's mouth was hanging open. He thought she thought _he_ was using her? That he somehow manipulated her into this? But wasn't it her who...?

"You didn't!" she protested. "Never! I thought, I did. I thought..."

"And what prevented this 'biological response' from happening last year?" he challenged her in a low growl that could almost be described as furious. "The year before? When we were eighteen? Or fifteen? Thirteen?"

Somehow her mind bypassed what his questions entailed, and yet, was able to come up with an answer to them swiftly. "So you did think you'd die in that mission," she snarled in spite of herself. "Liar!"

"It was a possibility," he replied calmly. Perfectly controlled. Terrible.

Her weak laugh came out more like a whimper. "I'm sorry," she said. "I guess, I'm just unlucky."

"You don't want this."

"No, no, no!" she protested desperately. "Like you said, it's not the best time... Not the best circumstance... I mean, yes! I mean, no. I mean, _you_ don't want this. Regardless of what I want, I mustn't, I shouldn't have. This child, this... this—me!----would be a weak point, a hindrance.... seeds for more bad memories. You don't want this. I understand."

"Not want this?" His eyes drifted to some spot behind her head. His voice lost the steely defensiveness that tempered the emotions he deemed forbidden. "Not want another of my blood in this world?"

She faltered. "Then you don't hate me?" she asked in disbelief.

"Hate you?" he echoed her. "Do you remember the time team 7 first assembled? My ambitions. I mentioned two."

She had nothing to say. It was numbing.

It was numbing.

"So you really don't remember." He smirked. "Unlike me."

"But you told me!" Sakura insisted in a broken voice. "Before you left, you asked me if I knew what Chouji and Shikamaru were handing to fate. You asked me!"

"Hn. And you thought I'd back down to fate, cowardly and weak till the end."

They were silent. Sakura sat, stunned by Sasuke's reaction, his cryptic revelations... But she was happy, she realized slowly. Happy. Her child was not unwanted after all. Her child would have a father.

Still, there were other things implied that weren't necessary to come to pass, sacrifices that were uncalled for.

"Sasuke."

"Aa."

"You brought me to the hospital."

He nodded.

"You caught me when I fainted during the Nameless One's attack."

Another nod.

She smiled at him then, her eyes sad but clear, for she had blinked away the tears starting to bud at the corners. "You don't have to keep catching me all the time, you know."

"Neither do you."

"But I want to." Her smile turned bitter. "And you told me you couldn't give me what I wanted. I'm okay with that. I promise."

"That was what you wanted? Permission?" His voice sounded somehow resigned, slightly bemused.

"You can put it that way. Figuratively. In summary."

He looked at her and, with his usual solemnity, commanded, "Catch me, then."

She searched his serious face, overwhelmed with awe and slivers of trepidation. "This is too easy. This is crazy. What then couldn't you give me that night? That thing you said I wanted?"

"I am shinobi; you are kunoichi. We have pledged our lives to the Leaf. There are no assurances."

Sakura goggled at him for a few moments, then collapsed back against her pile of pillows, half-laughing, half-crying. "Sasuke, I think we really should work on our communication. It'll head off so much suffering for both of us."

"I was trying that," he retorted in mild irritation that was unmistakably laced with embarrassment. She was almost sorry for him.

Almost.

"Since we're 'communicating' now, tell me what changed your mind."

"..."

"You just admitted to me a while ago that you're a damned liar, Sasuke-kun. Twice!" She glared at him the best she could, ruddy-cheeked, swollen-eyed, slobbery as a dog. "Tell me."

He signed; again, he sounded resigned to his fate. "I realized something yesterday," he muttered.

"And that is?"

"Neither can you."

"Neither can I?"

"Promise me the idealized world I lost as a child."

"Oh," she murmured, abashed. "I see."

A pause. Then...

"Was that a yes?" he asked.

"Was that a question?"

Sasuke's intent was to smirk, of course, but the mirth that lurked in his eyes undeniably turned it into a smile.

120304 01:40

* * *

Thanks to **seiyo** for "pre"-reading this chapter. :) 

Notes:

Whew. This chapter was a toughie. It's on the shortside, because I forgot about the Finals week. -.-; I hope you enjoyed this update, **NuttyScribbler**, **kodii-chan**, **Zero2-the-scyther**, and **Mrs. Uchiha**. And yes, **trickmaster**, your verses entertain me. ) Almost exclusive Sasuke-Sakura interaction in this one, **Icarus'Song**. Hope you it serves.

I'm glad you like where I cut the fic off, **animEvivvErz**. Sasuke actually had answer in the original draft but I removed it since I thought it lessened the impact of the question. So actually, **emir**, I didn't realize Chapter 8 was a cliffhanger, because I removed his answer at the last minute. Ahahahaha... Sasuke's fault. P

Poor Naruto, indeed, **this is s e x**. I think his anger/hurt is justified, though he probably notices more than he lets on. So **Mikazuki**, I don't think Sasuke's that safe yet, just because Naruto didn't kill him in this chapter. Not that Naruto is safe now, just because Neji didn't kill him in chapter 8. We'll see who dies first. laughs evilly

I love you, too, **Neptune**. LOL. What ficwriter wouldn't with your thorough feedbacks? XD Ah, I've seen that snow fight. (Though what I remember most about the Trust & Betrayal OVA is the "rain of blood" when the Battousai first meets her. And all the other spurting blood. LOL) Ohhh... I think it's because Kenshin always associates Tomoe with white plum. And Sakura is... sakura. Maybe that's one of the reasons why it reminds you of the scene. I'm glad the imagery was a success, though. The images had been in my head for so long, but I couldn't put it into words. ::bangs head::

::huggles Shikamaru::. Always happy when readers enjoy the ShikaIno. Never thought I'd write them to that depth. Or love them for that matter. : )

**Yoka**, the "Dying Sun" is Sakura's own genjutsu, which she developed herself (in this fic anyway. LOL). Both Naruto and Sasuke are familiar with it, being her friends. As for the letter... ahahaha... all in good time.

**Ori**, I haven't been reading many fanfics for the past months so I can't say I've read lots of fics about Sakura getting pregnant, too. Actually, when the premise of this fic first came to me, I hadn't decided on which pairing to use. I settled on SasuSaku because I thought those two characters had the most potential to be developed using the premise (and because I'm a rabid fan. ::cough::). But when the story progressed, I suddenly had misgivings about making Sakura pregnant. Until I started writing chapter 9, I was actually still contemplating keeping Sakura not pregnant. Why? Because I thought it'll be healthier for both if they take their relationship in steps. However, the fic was already set up to lead to the events of chapter 9, so in the end, I followed my outline. (Besides, the two seem to grow well in hard times, anyway) . I hope I didn't disappoint you terribly. As for Sakura becoming a housewife... Well, there's still one chapter left. XD

And last, but not least, **Midnightcrow**: Happy Birthday! Yes, I'm cheap, broke, and exiled five thousand miles or twelve time zones away, so you'll have to settle for this as a gift. Ahahaha.. --; And yes, this fic got long because of the subplots (they were necessary though. I think).Oh, did I ever mention that the ShikaIno subplot was partly your fault? P

Belated Happy birthday to **Luckychan**, as well. :) ::glomp::

Thanks for the feedback, everyone. They're always very much appreciated.

Chapter 10 & Epilogue: 121904

Last (I promise): Good luck to people with finals like me. LOL


	11. Chapter 10: Steps

Disclaimer: Naruto is the property of Masashi Kishimoto, etc. Borrowing for the purposes of entertainment, procrastination, and basically, escapism.

Chapter 10: Steps

Sometimes, she would stand before the mirror and stare for almost an hour, because there was nothing remarkable to see except for a somewhat wan-looking girl with light-colored hair and eyes that somehow made her wanner still. There was no outward indication that this pale girl was a woman carrying a new life in her belly, was a bride-to-be in a quiet union that defied the sporadic skirmishes that erupted in the countryside against the Nameless ninjas. She looked the same still, and all the excitement seem to have come to a plateau. She still tired easily, though, could tolerate little food, and had morning sickness on evenings. Other than that, things were much the same (except for the fact that her boobs seemed to have gotten bigger, but that was Inner Sakura's observation and could therefore be dismissed as wishful thinking.)

She abandoned the mirror when she heard her mother's summons from downstairs.

"And don't dawdle, child!"

Sakura had to smile because living in her pad left little opportunity to get scolded. She rather missed it.

Her parents had been surprised when Sasuke came with Kakashi, who was the closest thing to a parent he had available, and formally asked for her. They had met before, of course, but they never knew he could speak, much less that he had such a relationship with Sakura. But then, Sakura too was impressed because it turned out Sasuke had been taught formal manners years ago. He managed to win her father over after the initial who-the-hell-are-you reaction, which the latter had perfected over the years to scare away the suitors and what-nots who dared bother his training daughter.

Old genin cellmate or not, her parents thought their hastiness to marry suspicious and Sakura had to elaborate. Their reaction was surprisingly mild, though her father's initial stone-faced expression scared her frozen, especially when the Haruno patriarch coldly requested to be closeted alone with Sasuke. Meanwhile, her mother merely told her, after a long silence, that pride and discretion were not sufficient grounds for marriage and that she rethink her decision carefully. Sakura was unable to answer, for Sasuke and her father came back then. She had no idea what transpired between the two----probably never will find out. The former seemed paler than usual, though his face gave nothing away. The latter was turning purple with stifled laughter, however.

"How does two weeks sound?" her father had announced to the room in general.

"Two weeks?" Sakura had repeated stupidly. "What's in---"

"Your wedding, of course! I like this boy. Handsome young devil. Impeccable marksmanship. Amusing, too." Then he succumbed to his laughter.

Sakura always thought her father had a rather warped sense of humor.

It had been ten days since then. Sasuke was waiting for her downstairs to walk with her and to see to preparations. It was going to be a small and simple affair, but their responsibilities as ninjas also cut into their preparation time. There, too, was an unofficial war ongoing.

When she saw him from the stairway in a freshly-washed uniform, Sakura sighed in relief. He looked pretty much intact from where she stood. Speaking of washing uniforms, she still had to account for all of hers, since most of her ninja gear would have to go into storage to facilitate her change of residence. It wasn't as if she was going to use them for a while, anyway.

_You could literally drop dead..._

Sakura tried not to let that thought stain the smile she greeted Sasuke with.

Naturally, he didn't smile back. He merely nodded once in acknowledgment, and moved away from where he was standing in the hallway. She met him halfway and kissed him on a cheek by way of greeting. He didn't reciprocate it, but she was sure he tilted his head slightly lower so she didn't have to stand on tiptoes. He then started out without a backward glance.

"How was your mission last night?" she asked as she caught up beside him.

"Tolerable."

"It rained pretty hard. I couldn't sleep."

"Neither could I." His face was as flat as a board.

"Very funny." She glared at him.

He smirked back. "Thank my companions for the good influence."

She sighed. "This is ridiculous."

"But necessary."

"War? Was it ever?"

"To fight back is."

"Oh, naturally." She paused. "You have to wonder what good the assassination did...since the war's happening anyway."

Sasuke started to open his mouth.

"I know the answers," she murmured before he could say anything. "That dictator would have facilitated the rise of a shinobi-controlled super power, free to mobilize both the military and ninjas against their neighbors, free to wield a more visible political power. And current alliances between shinobi nations are neutral in the affairs of war; if any one of the five shinobi countries decide to side with the Southern Crack, this would have spiraled into much bigger struggle. The Nameless Ones would be more capable of disrupting the balance between the shinobi powers."

Sasuke nodded. "They're still trying that now. Their slash-and-dash tactics are deceptively harmless seeming, but they're slowly bleeding our resources. If they manage to antagonize the Leaf enough to disrupt our other operations, that in itself is a show of power that would attract attention to them----and attention away from their other intentions."

"Do you think they'll still be able to regain control of the Southern Crack country's central government?"

"Maybe. Maybe not. That man was remarkable."

Sakura cocked an eyebrow in surprise. "The dictator?"

"His charisma could charm snakes and morons."

"Not everybody's a moron."

"Hn."

"You didn't want to have to kill him."

"I didn't have to want to."

"It's not a bad thing if it bothers you."

Sasuke stopped walking. "You're doing it again."

"You gave me permission."

He sighed. "Try to be less obvious," he said almost painfully.

"I 'm still rough around the edges. Give me time."

"Your newfound power seem to be making you too bold."

She laughed. "Am I supposed to learn a lesson from the Nameless Ones' mistake?"

"Shifts of power disturb balance. They should have been more insidious in their rise. They should have laid the groundwork more thoroughly, infiltrated the other components of the government more deeply, before taking obvious control."

"Like me."

"..." He started walking again.

"All this for power," Sakura murmured as she followed behind him. "It's disgusting."

"I thought you had gotten used to this over the years."

"It's still sad."

"Aa."

A brief moment of silence.

"You don't have to be in the front lines to fight for the village. There are other ways."

Sakura started, stopped in midstride as she took in his words, eyes wide. She had a wild impulse to smother him with a grateful embrace and to blubber on his shirt for breaking her tight self-control, but they were out in public, she remembered. And who knew if his instincts would prompt him to neutralize her attack by some deadly taijutsu.... but then she couldn't help it, and she tightly hugged him from behind without regarding what he'll think, what they'll think.

"Listen," she murmured to his back "Don't be sorry about things that are out of your control."

"..."

"I'd be fine. I'd make up the training I'll miss in no time after we have our baby. And then I'll be jounin like you." She gave him a last squeeze before relinquishing him. "But thank you. For recognizing."

He was blushing faintly. "... Aa."

She grinned at him. "Oh, look. We're here."

They entered the doctor's clinic together.

* * *

The civilians of Konohagure no Sato needed medical services, too, for more mundane things like colds and diarrhea and flesh-eating bacteria. Thus, by the busy Konoha Hospital was a complex of clinics where some of the older mednins volunteer. Five minutes before noon, a door opened in one of the said clinics. The woman waiting outside, a prim and proper daughter of the moderately prominent Mitokado family, on her way to a scheduled prenatal visit, nearly fainted dead away upon seeing the bloodless, shell-shocked face of her childhood crush. The companion of the said man would have giggled at the sight if she weren't so bloodless and shell-shocked herself. Of course, Sakura remembered quarreling with the shaken woman back in the days of Iruka-sensei's ninja academy classes. Everybody chasing after Uchiha Sasuke then had the same sort of relationship. 

Sasuke obliviously passed by the gaping woman. Sakura took her cue from him and hastily trotted out the clinic, smiling at her fellow expectant mother politely. The other woman regained her sense of propriety and properly bowed back in greeting. She entered the clinic and closed the door behind her rather urgently.

Twenty-four year old Uchiha Sasuke, the unattainable one, walking out of a prenatal clinic with some pink-haired hussy who managed to ensnare him with her wiles...who wouldn't be shocked? Taken aback? Scandalized?

A bump from behind jolted Sakura out of her thoughts. She turned to cock a questioning eyebrow to her fiancé. He looked up at her, equally inquiring.

"What?" he finally asked when she continued to look at him wordlessly.

He really did look shell-shocked, she thought, suppressing a smile. She herself was overwhelmed by all the questions, all the tests, all the lectures on eating well and keeping healthy. How more stressful was it for him, she wondered, him whose powerful Fire ninjutsus or famed chidori were astoundingly useless in such matters?

"Sorry," he mumbled. He sidestepped her, and with the same pace, walked out of the complex.

Sakura had to blink. For a man who had trouble even verbalizing his shortcomings, Sasuke had certainly been apologizing to her a lot. He must be really overwhelmed by all this.

"Arg." Sakura ran after him. "What was that about, Sasuke?" she asked. "Why the sorry?"

He shot her a strange look, one a three-headed monster would probably warrant. "For bumping you."

BONK.

"..."

"Like that?" she asked sheepishly as she sauntered to where he stood. He, meanwhile, was busy peeling off a runny-nosed little urchin from his shin.

With apple-round rosy cheeks and spiky fair hair, the little boy was the most adorable thing Sakura had seen. She announced it so, calling the child a cute little piglet.

"Lady!" The boy detached himself from her hands, brown eyes flashing indignantly. "Shine not a cute piggy. Shine is strong and big-boned shinobi like DADDY!!! Mean lady's trying to EAT ME!"

Sasuke simply stared at the hollering toddler, as if it were the honorable Maito Gai doing stretching exercises in synch with dirge.

"Daddy" turned out to be Akamichi Chouji, carrying another son on his shoulders and an infant that seemed even tinier in his arms.

"Chouji!" Sakura warmly called to him, waving at the towering jounin. "Missing one?" She pointed to the three-year-old impotently kicking at the Uchiha Sasuke.

"Sakura! Sasuke!" boomed Chouji's voice. Strong and big-boned, he certainly was, and Sakura noted another child with him, a daughter who clung to his left leg.

Meanwhile, the said Uchiha Sasuke, one-time missing nin and famed avenger, merely kept staring at the boy attacking his patellae, stone still.

Chouji stopped beside the dark-haired jounin.

"Now, Shine," Chouji said. "Don't you remember Sakura-san? We had lunch with her before with Ino-san and Shikamaru-san. And what did your mother tell you about kicking people?"

"Um..." Shine stopped his kicking and crinkled his forehead as he thought hard to remember. "Ah!" He grinned broadly as he recalled his lessons. "Eat my veggies and I'll grow up strong and big-boned and kick all the biggy baddy jounis butt without breaking my toe."

Choujii scratched his head. "She really said that?"

The child nodded solemnly. "But, daddy, Shine only kicked mister's kneecaps."

"..."

"Down! Down!" ordered Michi, the boy on top of Chouji's head.

"Okay, Michi, okay." Chouji sighed. "Here." He unceremoniously deposited his sleeping newborn on the arms of the lone Uchiha. "Now, stay close to your big brother, Michi. Houki-hime, it's hard to move when you're riding my leg. Can't you walk the rest of the way?"

Sasuke stood there, frozen, clutching the tiny, dainty, soft, _breakable_ bundle he was suddenly saddled with. Finally, he had stopped staring at Akamichi Shine. His new point of interest seemed to be on the newest member of the Akamichi brood, that kittenish thing that squirmed in his hold ominously.

Sakura sidled to his side to look at the baby. Exactly like a woman, she squealed in delight. "So cute!" she cried. "Hi there!" she cooed in a high-pitched, wispy sort of whisper. "Hi. Hi."

Actually, the baby girl wasn't the only cute thing there, she thought. Sakura knew Sasuke was probably _praying_ for her to rid him of the wriggling mass. So she watched him from the corner of an eye, even as she oohed and ahhed over the newborn, memorizing the consternated meeting of his eyebrows, the slight downward curve of the corners of his mouth.

"Taking a walk, little Suki? Huh? Huh?" Sakura looked up at Chouji. "How the missus?"

"Resting up but feeling better already."

"On the way to the medics?"

"Yep. Shine has allergies, what with all the rain and the molds growing on dead leaves, but I'll have one of the medics look at him anyway. Suki's having her first doctor's check up----for which we'll be late if we don't start moving again."

"Oooh... And the other two just along for the day out?"

"And lunch, of course." Chouji grinned proudly.

"Oho," Sakura said with a laugh. "So it's almost lunchtime, ne Houki-chan?" She smiled at the little girl.

"Yeah," said Chouji. "And it's warmer this time of the day."

"True."

Chouji stretched. "Anyhow, we're off." He retrieved his infant from the avenger carefully. "Thanks, Sasuke."

And Sasuke was left standing there, empty-handed, as stupidly as a man with such self-possession as himself possibly could (which wasn't really much to look at, Sakura thought in slight disappointment).

"But don't think I'll forget how you stole the limelight from me," Chouji continued as he ushered his three other kids before him. "Just because you're this village's sexy heartthrob doesn't mean you can upstage the big-boned people like me whenever you please. And next time, we'll be on equal footing in terms of assets... Be well. You, too, Sakura."

With that, the Akamichi brood disappeared into the building.

With a sigh, Sakura turned back to her taciturn companion.

"Sasuke-kun," she said suddenly. "They're not that scary."

"Don't be a fool," he replied, starting to walk again.

Then.

"Four of them," he was muttering. "Five years."

"Houki-chan and Michi-kun are twins," explained Sakura.

"What happens when he goes to mission? Aren't they likely to end up killing their mother?"

"Oh, that's what rookie genins are there for."

"How could I forget?" he asked, referring to the numerous babysitting-jobs-disguised-as-D-class-missions they used to get as genins.

"My, aren't we honest today," she remarked, but then, she went to him and tugged at his arm. "Come on," she said gently. "You probably had enough shock for one day."

And so they resumed their walk.

* * *

They ate lunch at the Ichiraku's because old habits die hard and the place had always served as an official meeting place for long-missed friends who happened to feel nostalgic at the same time. Under the mild October sun and the changing leaves overhead, Sakura savored the warmth of her ramen in her mouth and the warmth of memories in her heart. 

Her thoughts seeming to summon them, two other regular patrons soon arrived. Sakura squinted disbelievingly as she saw the two men together.

"Neji-kun," she greeted. "Naruto."

Ah, Naruto. She and Sasuke had a long talk with Naruto a week ago. It was a serious talk, at first, and it was mostly her who talked, who explained what happened. But then, Naruto burst out laughing somewhere along the way and the emotional heart talk disintegrated into a three-way arm slapping session. He was angry at her, he claimed, for she forgot about his birthday, even lauding Sasuke who, he said, was the only one who remembered. He blamed her, too, for his troubles with Neji. Apparently, a certain meeting of hers with the incorrigible blond in the Dorobo supermarket caused a misunderstanding between him and the Hyuuga.

Presently, Naruto was surreptitiously inching away from his impassive, raven-haired companion.

"What do you think you're doing?" Neji asked.

"Ah! Just getting chili," said Naruto. Then, as if regaining his senses, he retorted with a more Uzumaki-style boisterousness. "What do you think _you're_ doing?" he demanded. "We're not here to waste time. Ask her!"

Sakura blinked as Neji turned a gray stare at her and Sasuke. She had seen the intense look on the Hyuga before, for she had him as team leader quite regularly. It was exactly how he looked a split second before initiating a ferocious offensive attack.

Then, it vanished.

"Forget it," he said through gnashed teeth.

"You're chickening out?" Naruto frowned even as he shoved thirty meters of noodles down his throat.

"Embarrass yourself if you wish, since that seems to be your expertise," the other replied coolly and attended to his food.

Meanwhile, Sakura continued to watch them curiously. Right then, Neji was about to ask her something, but stopped since the question apparently involved something delicate. Her thoughts wandered to Naruto's confession from five days ago about what earned him Hyuuga Neji's constant and almost hostile vigilance.

Sakura had to bite back a smile as she realized the "random" meeting's true intent. Neji wanted proof that Naruto was telling the truth, that he had indeed ended up standing before a shelf full of condoms, birth control paraphernalia, and pregnancy testing kits, because he had been talking to Sakura that fateful noon of September 23. But of course, Neji couldn't just ask her about that meeting out of the blue. After all, she was getting married to Sasuke suddenly and soon, and that _had_ to have something to do with her pawing through pregnancy kits mere weeks before. Oh no, the shinobi genius Hyuuga Neji was not going to place himself in such an embarrassing situation. Or so Sakura thought.

"So... I heard you two are getting married next week," Neji said disinterestedly.

"Eh?" Naruto burst out beside him. "You didn't know?"

"What do you think?" the other man hissed.

"But I could have sworn you were invited," Naruto said with a frown. "I helped them glue the envelopes!"

"Just shut the hell up."

Before anybody end up with chopstick stab wounds, Sakura decided she needed to intervene. "Uh, Neji," she said carefully. "Naruto's telling the truth."

Neji loosened his hold on the Naruto's vest. "Go on," he prompted her cautiously.

"September 23," she said. "I met him on Dorobo supermarket. I was searching for pregnancy testing kits. But I left him there quickly."

"... Aa."

"I didn't want to hear things I thought he was going to say."

"She and Sasuke were having problems," explained Naruto. "Which'll be fixed soon. Mostly, anyway."

Neji shot him a look that clearly warned him to shut up. The poor man was getting more information than he bargained for.

"Don't get squeamish, Neji," said Sasuke. "It was ill-timed. Simply that."

"Yeah, right," Naruto replied sarcastically. "Don't act so cool and carefree, bastard. That didn't seem to be your thoughts last month when you were moping at the bars with me after you got back from that big mission."

Sakura stared at him wonderingly. Naruto knew about Sasuke's state of mind even before the latter knew about the pregnancy. And, apparently, Sasuke, too, had been in some sort of anguish similar to hers. Perhaps, she should ask both him and Naruto more questions later.

"That was a very nervous time, actually," Naruto added thoughtfully. "I was afraid one of them might suddenly ambush me and demand comfort sex or something."

"I understand," Neji said, ignoring the doubly punched Naruto twitching at his feet. "Thank you for restoring my peace of mind, Sakura. Meanwhile, I have two messages for you."

"Oh?" Sakura looked at him in surprise, massaging her knuckles.

"From the Hokage's office, a reminder. Tomorrow you meet with the research team leader regarding your code-breaking assignment. And the second message is from my cousin. Hinata-sama is overseeing the Hyuuga holdings in the north, but she wanted to extend her greetings."

"I was getting to that," Naruto said as he dusted himself. "Hinata-chan said something about sun sickness---"

"Morning sickness."

"Yeah, that. Hinata-chan wanted to teach you a little trick. Since she's busy I volunteered." Naruto sat beside Sasuke and reached over to take Sakura's hand. "Look," he said. "Press this place down." He placed two fingers two inches from her wrist.

"Pressure on that chakra center can help suppress nausea," explained Neji. "It'll help you feel better."

Sakura was speechless for a moment, deeply touched. Then, she smiled and said, "thank you."

"Neji," Sasuke spoke up. "The dobe and your cousin doesn't have our issues."

"Yeah," Naruto agreed. "Our romantic tale is _normal_."

Neji nodded. "I've been stupid," he told Sasuke. "He doesn't have enough balls to try that."

"I'm not scared of you!" cut in Naruto viciously.

"You will be, if you try anything," thundered the Hyuuga.

"Try what?!"

"Don't act innocent! I am a man, as well, idiot."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

And things went decidedly unfastidious after that.

* * *

"I've always thought you'd get married in spring, under the cherry blossoms. That would have been pretty." 

Sakura silently agreed. For the simple fact that her coloring suited that particular season better, she would have loved to get married during spring. Doing so underneath her namesake was a bit much, though, she opined thoughtfully. It _was_ a little too vain, right? A little too focused on her. Any solemn place would be fine, as long as the sound of life could be heard from outside, as long as family and friends were present to celebrate with them.

"Winter is actually very pretty, too," added Rock Lee, frowning slightly.

"Ah, yes," said his mentor, Maito Gai. "A lone flower in an icy desolation. What contrast! Understated beauty and the purity of snow!"

Sasuke and Sakura, after leaving the still arguing Neji and Naruto to their own devices, resumed their walk. Sakura assumed their day out was at an end, but he by-passed her parents' house without a word and was soon leading her toward the training areas. The trees were somehow patchy there, and it was mostly empty these days. Still, they met with Konoha's two beautiful beasts: Rock Lee, one of Sakura's long time admirers, a man no less avid as a friend and comrade-in-arms, and his beloved sensei, Maito Gai.

"Why not wait till winter, Sakura-chan?"

She looked up at Lee's question, somewhat caught unaware. She couldn't decide where his question stemmed from, whether he still harbored feelings toward her, masked by his ever-gentlemanly ways... sentimental fanaticism tempered into casual devotion, into an unselfish normalcy than no longer called attention to self. Just as what happened to her over time.

"The icy desolation does not suit her."

That reply, too, caught her unaware. It came from her husband-to-be, who, despite his efforts to quell it, had a strange sort of kindness in him.

"True, true," said Lee, nodding his head ardently.

"You young ones might not know," offered Gai. "Long ago, the brides of Konoha were brought to the northern woods by their grooms, and there in the sacredness of the aged evergreens plighted their thoth. What more? The pathway that leads therein is carpeted with red and gold, a poignant reminder that the death of the deciduous forest is no death at all, but a necessary step of rebirth."

"That was beautiful!" Lee was weeping openly. "Gai-sensei!"

Sakura laughed. "Orange does clash with my hair, though," she said ruefully.

"Oh, no," protested Gai. "When I say red and gold, I do mean red and gold."

"You'll see," said Sasuke.

"Oh," said Sakura simply. Understanding came to her then.

"But really," Lee burst out. "Why can't you guys wait till next spring?"

Sakura swallowed, braced herself, then finally asked, "Lee, why are you so keen on..?"

"Well..." Lee was blushing.

Gai slapped his student in the back. Hard. "Lee-chan is still gathering guts to ask Himiko's parents for her hand!" he announced proudly.

"That's great!" Sakura could have exploded in her relief. "The daimyo's niece? Wow! I'm sure they won't turn down the beautiful green beast of Konoha." She has once taken an assignment to bodyguard woman in question. Himiko-hime was an angelic creature dedicated to her people. She suited Lee well, a man who needed a person to take care of, to be dedicated to.

"Aiya," lamented Gai. "He won't be convinced. Why, I told them, why the wait when the fires are burning?! Youth comes and goes like the wind. And before long, all that's left are ashes to sting the eyes and induce wretched tears. Ah, youth! Why do you not see what you have before you?"

"What has that to do with us?" asked Sasuke.

"Well..." started Lee, twiddling with his fingers. "Himiko-chan had a twin sister once, but cholera claimed her."

"Poor soul," remarked Gai sorrowfully.

"And, and, it's been a custom of the Marte family for twins to marry on the same day. Himiko-chan would love to have a double wedding with her sister, but that's impossible see."

"The good thing is," added his teacher brightly. "Himiko-hime's willing to settle for any kind of double wedding. And the Marte family would pay for the reception, too. No strings attached!"

"That's... that's great," said Sakura, feeling just a tad dizzy. "Very thoughtful of them."

"..." said Sasuke.

"But you two are getting married next week," continued Lee worriedly. "And I don't think it'll be prudent for Himiko-chan to travel here, what with those Nameless One ambushes going on. And I haven't really talked with anybody who might be..." Lee suddenly brightened. "I know! I'll just talk to Tenten or Hinata."

"Very resourceful of you, my student!" declared Gai happily. "Let's do it!"

And after delivering hasty goodbyes, both student and master disappeared down the lane.

Sakura watched them, giggling. "Either way, Neji will kill him," she murmured.

"..." said Sasuke. Sakura could feel waves of incomprehension from him, despite his unfazed expression.

"Neji and Tenten had been together on and off for years," she explained. "They just recently reunited. And Naruto's seeing Hinata, remember?"

"... Aa." The waves of incomprehension wavered. Somewhat.

There was a brief moment of silence.

"Are you ready?"

She took the hand he offered tightly in hers, and they continued their way forward, hand in hand.

December 18, 2004 (3:50pm)

* * *

Almost done. I'm feeling kinda sentimental. LOL Gah. I'm bad at sustaining angst. (sweatdrops) 

Actually, Naruto's birthday wasn't the only one Sakura (and I) forgot. It was on October 10. Shikamaru and Ino too had their birthdays on September22 & 23respectively. So sorry, you three.

Well, **Mrs. Uchiha**, **lori**, **Analogue Cat**, **animEvivvErz**, **Zero2-the-scyther**, everybody... that's it for me. Or almost it, anyway. Like, **Yoka** said, I kinda try to leave things implied, because... er, sometimes it comes actually comes out more waffy that way, and sometimes, I'm more comfortable with what comes out. : ) **Incarus'Song**, I am honored that my works deserves such attention. (Addendum: Sorry for the wrong spelling, btw) **Neptune**, too, you honor me. Though, I hope your finals didn't go as bad as you thought. XD Future plans? Well, I hope to write a little something on Sasuke's POV about all this. I _hope_ to, anyway. LoL

I hope the ending wasn't a disappointment to anybody. And there you have it, **Ori**, Sakura won't be a housewife. : ) As for the two being too young to have kids, I guess, 24 is on the young side. Depends on the culture really. But then, physical age doesn't necessarily dictate level of maturity or readiness for a child.

Okay. There isn't much left. On to the epilogue.


	12. Epilogue

Disclaimer: Naruto is the property of Masashi Kishimoto, etc. Borrowing for the purposes of entertainment, procrastination, and basically, escapism. 

Epilogue

It was fifteen minutes past midnight of the thirtieth of October. This he could easily tell by the svelte shadows in his unlit room and by the placement of the glow-in-the-dark hands on the alarm clock resting at his bedside table. Instead of being at his bedside, he'd much rather be in bed, preferably sleeping. Of course, he wasn't going to complain if his bossy wife decided not to let him sleep yet.

It was a dangerous thing, to complain, that is. Though, having a wife who's still sexy even during pregnancy was dangerous, too.

"Really, Shikamaru. I'm concerned about my best friend."

Shikamaru sighed.

"Don't just sigh at me; I'm serious!"

"No doubt about you are," he muttered.

She looked like she was about to hit him. Yep, almost time for her to lose it.

He watched as her blue eyes blazed in her rage-mottled face and, call him a masochistic manic who so foolishly liked to live in the dangerous side it had be pathologic, thought her beautiful, appealing, and downright homicidal. Her braided blond hair whipped about her as she stalked about him, probably looking for an opening in his defenses. Which was probably a hard thing to do, he reflected, his tactic being passivity these days. Ah, yes. The bamboo were these humongous, knobbly grasses that were very useful, very strong, very grounded, and very enduring. They bended low with the winds dictations, thus they almost never break.

Almost.

"All right, Ino," he said in a _justifiably_ ornery voice. "You didn't have to hit me with your encyclopedia."

"For your information, this is one of your so-called bathroom reading material: 'The Dummies Everything Manual In Surviving Those 9 Months.' And, yes, it's an interesting read. Even more interesting is how the lazy genius Nara Shikamaru actually decided to do background research on his own volition." She nodded in satisfaction as she brandished her weapon. "And I'll quote, ahem, 'a man may feel confused and inadequate, thus withdrawing and ignoring the problem. The woman, who needs increased love and affection at such times, thus perceives this as unloving and unsupportive.' Now, I'll ask you again, my dear crotchety husband: do you really think, Sasuke, _the_ Uchiha Sasuke, is capable of addressing my friend's emotional needs, especially as an expectant mother?!"

"..."

Ino stopped pacing. "What are you doing?" she asked in a terrible voice.

"My end of the deal," replied Shikamaru, as he watched a piece of paper burn in a small ceramic bowl.

Ino watched, jaws dropping, the reddish light of the dying flames painting a haggard starkness on her face. The finality of the smell of ashes seemed to have absorbed all her towering protective energy. She seemed almost dilapidated.

She carefully sat on their bed, feeling for the edge in the sudden darkness with one hand, her other hand stroking her distended belly lovingly.

"You actually waited till they got married," she observed.

"...Aa."

"But she still needs to know what's in that piece of paper," she said quietly, uncharacteristically so.

"He has the rest of their lives to tell her."

"That long, huh?" Ino sighed. "D'you think he's telling her right now?"

"..." Shikamaru looked at his wife blankly. "It's their wedding night."

"With words, stupid."

He shrugged. Personally, it wasn't any of their business, he thought. Of course, he wasn't crazy enough to share that opinion.

She sighed again. "Poor Sakura-chan. And I thought I had it bad."

"What?" He raised an eyebrow as he helped her into bed. "All we did in our wedding night was _talk_."

"Let's say I've forgotten about the things you said." Her impish grin was visible even in the darkness. "Tell me again."

Shikamaru lay by her side, arms pillowing his head, and watched the subtly shifting shadows of the trees outside etched on his ceiling, watched the balding boughs lugubriously wave around like pompons.

And so, with the power of his heritage ironically cheering him on, he began.

December 19, 2004 (1:26am)

* * *

Wow. We reached the end. Thank you for reading. And a special thank you for all those who commented. Always, always appreciated. If you have any question, suggestion, complaints, anything, what I could have done differently, etc, I'll happily accept. Much room for improvement.

Thanks for helping me grow. : )

P.S. I wanted to write about how I got the idea for this story, but I'm pressed for time. Ah, well. 


End file.
